- Ed McMahon: You don't stop in big cities when you're on the road - you stop in little, small places.
- Johnny Carson: Why can't you stop in big cities?
- Ed McMahon: Why would you want to go into a large city when you're camping out, going across the country? You stop at little motels!
- Johnny Carson: You were not camping out - you were driving a Cadillac!
- Ed McMahon: For me, that's camping out!
- Suzanne Pleshette: I did not sleep with Johnny for this part, for two reasons: A, he didn't ask me...
- Johnny Carson: Oh, come on.
- Suzanne Pleshette: And B, it's not that good a part.
- Johnny Carson: ...What part are you talking about?
- Johnny Carson: I could have hoped, maybe, a small role - like Hitchcock used to do.
- Suzanne Pleshette: You really should have. I thought maybe, at the cemetery, you would have that day.
- Ed McMahon: Yeah - you could have been a mourner.
- Johnny Carson: Hm?
- Ed McMahon: A mourner, at the cemetery. You would have been a great mourner. Think of one of your old monologues.
- Dick Cavett: [reading a trivia item] "A woman invented the - what we know as the brassiere, and her name"... and you're... you're hearing this correctly - "is Caresse Crosby. She invented"... and this is, quote, "the modern brassiere". I guess that's, um, as opposed to the old steam-driven brassiere.