Rita Rudner: Self

Quotes 

• Rita Rudner : [on her husband]  He made me try on a leather dress.

  Johnny Carson : Yeah.

  Rita Rudner : And I did it 'cause I love him, you know? But I was standing there in this leather, and it wasn't until then that I realized how uncomfortable cows must be.

• Rita Rudner : We didn't really want to move, but we were living within our means, and people were starting to talk.

• Rita Rudner : We made terrible mistakes that we don't want anyone else to make, when we moved. First of all, we hired the Vegetarian Moving Company.

  Johnny Carson : The Vegetarian Moving Company?

  Rita Rudner : Yes - they were too weak to lift anything.

• Rita Rudner : He looked at me and said, "Lady, I don't spackle." That's what he said - he said, "I don't sand, and I don't tape. I just paint." So then the exterminator came in. I said, "Kill the painter."

• Rita Rudner : Before him, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.