GLOW (TV Series)
This Is One of Those Moments (2017)
Alison Brie: Ruth Wilder
Photos
Quotes
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Sam Sylvia : Take the day off.
Ruth : But I'm here. I'm ready to work.
Sam Sylvia : Well, you can't work if I can't get your scene partner into the goddamn ring.
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Ruth : [Russian accent] Morning, comrade. Ow, ow, ow.
[Ruth puts down her glass of hot tea]
Ruth : [Russian accent] This is how we drink tea in Russia. With pain.
Sam Sylvia : Okay, can you stop with the accent? It's a little, a little early for that.
Ruth : [Russian accent] It's never too early to be in character.
Sam Sylvia : Well, yes, it is.
Ruth : What do Russians have against mugs?
Sam Sylvia : Well, you need the metal thing. There's a metal thing with a handle that the cup goes into.
Ruth : How do you know that?
Sam Sylvia : I used to date a Russian woman. Yana Popov. Like the vodka. No relation. But she didn't get along with my dog, and she had a, a weird mole.
Ruth : So, why am I here early?
[Debbie walks in the gym and accidentally knocks over the glass of tea]
Debbie : What the fuck? Why is that here?
Ruth : It was too hot. I'll get paper towels.
[Ruth grabs the glass and runs to the restroom]
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Debbie : You drag me here at the ass-crack of dawn...
Sam Sylvia : It's early morning. It's nice. It's... it's quiet.
Debbie : Look, I have tolerated her being here because I, uh... well, I actually enjoy watching you make her feel like shit, but we have an unspoken rule that we stay as far away from each other as possible.
Sam Sylvia : All right, well, it's time to break that rule. You said, 'Find me a great heel.' And she's a perfect heel for your face.
Debbie : Sam, I am not working with her.
Sam Sylvia : You are a bright shining star. She is a dirty, nasty, stepped-in-dog-shit heel.
[Ruth runs back in the gym with paper towels to clean the spilled tea]
Sam Sylvia : You are USA. She's Soviet Union. It's the title card for the pilot. It's the main event, Debbie.
Ruth : [Russian accent] In Soviet Union, we clean with rubles and hide paper towels under mattress.
[pause]
Ruth : Nothing? That was solid.
Sam Sylvia : She was killing the other day with that. All right? I, I swear.
[looks at Ruth]
Sam Sylvia : Do the thing I like.
[Ruth gets up]
Ruth : [Russian accent] I am Zoya... the Destroya! You are weak capitalist dog. I am noble Soviet bear!
[pause]
Sam Sylvia : Okay. Do it in the ring. It'll look better up there.
Ruth : Okay.
[Ruth runs in the ring]
Sam Sylvia : This way, you can see what she can do. All right? Just watch, Debbie. Watch.
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Ruth : So, I've been working on these opening moves called...
[Russian accent]
Ruth : 'the hammer and sickle'.
[pause]
Ruth : I'll just show you. I'll just show you. Um... So it's
[Russian accent]
Ruth : the hammer! I start with a body slam. You get back up, and then I sickle your feet so you... you...
[falls to the mat]
Ruth : [Russian accent] And then I get you here. I got you in a hammerlock. Ahh! Ahh! You get up, you turn it around on me. You lock it up, and you think you got me, but then, I come back around with the soon-to-be-famous 'rough toilet paper!' Ahh! And then, you know, it's fight, fight, fight. I'm bad, you're good. I'm winning.
[punch and knee]
Ruth : [Russian accent] You're winning.
[pulls her own hair and rolls forward before dragging herself backwards]
Ruth : [Russian accent] Oh, step off! She's still got me! Oh, you stupid American swine!
[rolls and gets up]
Ruth : [Russian accent] You think you're getting away, but then, I get you by your hair. Ahh! I spin you around and I set you up for 'the bread line.'
[rolls to the ground]
Ruth : [Russian accent] Ohh! I get you up again for 'the potato soup.' Eat it!
[gets up and headbutts the turnbuckle]
Ruth : Oh! Oh! Still working on the names.
[Russian accent]
Ruth : And then, you know, I still... I've got you by the hair and big finish.
[simulates a piledriver]
Ruth : [Russian accent] 'Vodka for breakfast!'
[pause]
Ruth : But then, of course, you would come back and defeat me with some all-American and awesome, because you're... blonde.
Sam Sylvia : Wow! See? She's the best villain we have. It's everything you need.
Debbie : I think we can do better.
[Debbie walks away]
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Ruth : Gregory. Just the man I wanted to see. Hey, how do you say 'Gregory' in Russian?
Gregory : Gregory. Uh, excuse me. I have to go.
Ruth : Go? Where?
Gregory : Do you need something? I know the machine is out from diet orange, but there is grape.
Ruth : Oh, um, I'm not really a soda person. Listen, Gregory... I need to pick your brain.
Gregory : I don't need to pay for it.
Ruth : 'Pay for it'?
Gregory : Brain picking, dick licking... I have woman... sometimes... She gets mad at me. Says I don't listen.
Ruth : I am not a hooker.
Gregory : Of course not. Uh... how you saying? Escort.
Ruth : I'm an actress. I'm playing a character. Zoya the Destroya, the Soviet Scourge.
Gregory : I have cousin Zoya. You look nothing like her. She's a big girl, and good personality.
Ruth : I need to learn more about being Russian, and you're the only Russian I know.
Gregory : You don't know me. And I have to be going.
Ruth : Can I come with you?
Gregory : It's a family function.
Ruth : Families love me.
[pause]
Ruth : Look. I really want to be an authentic representation, not some cartoon Russian villain. Out of respect for your culture. I think you deserve better than Boris and Natasha.
[pause]
Gregory : Fine. Go change your clothes. Uh, and don't dress like what you say you're not.
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Gregory : Life is suffering.
Ruth : I was just saying that this morning. I am so on the Russian wavelength. I am like...
[Russian accent]
Ruth : one of those dolls, in a doll, in a doll, in a doll. I am many dolls. Because, I am so into myself. Do you get it, though? I'm into myself.
Gregory : It's a thinker.
Ruth : Hey, will you introduce me to more people?
Gregory : No. You say you want real thing, but you keep asking stupid questions. We didn't all work in factories and write sad poetry.
Ruth : Ah. Okay, fine. I'll just introduce myself.
[Ruth approaches Michael's mom]
Ruth : [Russian accent] Zdravstvuyte. I am Zoya. Thanks to you for having me at party.
Michael's Mom : [Russian] Who is this? Where's Lupe?
Gregory : [Russian] She's mad at me. Thinks I don't pay enough attention to her.
Michael's Mom : Mm.
Ruth : [Russian accent] Is more fun than work break at Gulag.
Michael's Mom : [Russian] What's the matter with her? What's she talking about?
Gregory : [Russian] She's in character. Actress. So she says. Maybe hooker. When Michael heals, she might be a nice present for him.
Michael's Mom : [Russian] Why did you bring an actress whore to a sacred rite of passage? She's bothering everyone.
Gregory : [Russian] You know I have trouble saying no.
Michael : [Russian] Somebody please get me a drink!
Michael's Mom : [looks at Ruth] Nice to meeting you. I have to get the boy some vodka. Excuse me.
Ruth : [Russian accent] Nice to meeting you too.
[Ruth goes back to Gregory]
Ruth : I love that.
[Russian accent]
Ruth : 'Nice to meeting you. Nice to meeting you. Zoya, nice to meeting you.'
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Gregory : You wanna feel Russian, you must drink vodka.
[Ruth and Gregory toast and drink]
Ruth : Oh. Wow. That's... strong. Guess I'd better get used to it.
[Russian accent]
Ruth : Zoya drinks like a sailor and swears like a fish.
Gregory : Fish don't talk.
Ruth : Hoo. Really feeling that. Probably should've had breakfast.
Gregory : You want some sturgeon on rye bread?
Ruth : Aw, look at you being a considerate date.
Gregory : This is not date. I have woman, sometimes. She gets mad at me. She says, uh, I don't take her out enough.
[Ruth looks at the ice sculpture of a horse head used to serve vodka]
Ruth : So... what's with the horse head.
Gregory : My cousin Michael is chess champion. Eighteen-and-under division. Very good.
Ruth : Oh, so, this is, like, a celebration for him or... ? Did he die? I can't tell from the faces.
Gregory : He's new to America. Was very difficult for him to get out. So, we sponsor him, make big noise. And Russia likes Jews only slightly more than faggots.
Ruth : Oh, I didn't know you were Jewish.
Gregory : I wear a giant chai.
Ruth : Oh... I thought that was a cat.
Michael : [Russian] No! No! I change my mind. Fuck religion! Don't touch my penis!
[two men drag Michael to a chair]
Ruth : What's going on?
Gregory : His bris. Now that we're in America, we're free to be Jews. Is covenant. We celebrate.
[Gregory gives Ruth another shot of vodka]
Michael : Nyet!
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Ruth : [Yiddish accent] Shalom, everyone! Shalom! Mazel, mazel! I am Gittel, the Orthodox Warrior! It's all about the Jews now.
Melanie Rosen : What the fuck is this?
Ruth : [Yiddish accent] I will beat you with a chicken. I will lock you up with my completely covered legs and guilt you into submission.
Sam Sylvia : What now?
Ruth : It's my new character. See... Look, you're right, you're right. If Russia can't go to war with America, what's the point? Right? So, I'm gonna take...
[points at Arthie]
Ruth : the terrorist, and we are gonna kill. I'm gonna... I'm gonna build settlements all over your ass, and then you're gonna try to blow me up, but it won't work because I'm too clever and thrifty. And then I'll just... Like I'll enter the ring with 17 children who have those little curls and... Oh God! It's gonna be great! I mean, uh, don't get me wrong. I love the Russians. I love the Russians. Could have gone all the way with the Russians, who are... They're pretty big Streisand fans, by the way. But then again, who isn't? I gotta adjust. So, it's all about going with the flow. Just... Come on, bitch. Watch me drop some Talmud on your head.
Arthie Premkumar : Um...
Melanie Rosen : You don't...
Arthie Premkumar : I, I've been working on stuff with Melrose.
[frustrated look on Ruth's face]
Ruth : What am I supposed to do?
[pause]
Debbie : [Southern accent] Typical whiny Soviet.
[Debbie drops ice pack and heads down to the ring]
Debbie : [Southern accent] 'What should I do? I'm so cold, so I only dress in gray and build things out of cinder block.' Lousy Commies. You think your nukes are so big? Wait till you get a load of our warheads. Because this is the greatest country on Earth, and I am willing to fight for it.
Sam Sylvia : Yeah.
Debbie : Let's go, you dirty Russian.
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Ruth : Okay, okay, I'm sorry. But isn't a bris supposed to happen when you're a baby? I mean, if you can scream for vodka, maybe you're a little too old.
Gregory : In Russia, it wasn't option. We had to live in secret. Now, he's in America, he gets to be who he is.
Ruth : Oh... like Yentl. Yentl had to come to America to be who she was.
[Michael overhears Ruth talking about Yentl]
Gregory : Yes, Michael and me and all our relatives, we're just like Yentl.
Michael : [Russian] Is she going to sing something from Yentl?
Gregory : [Russian] Don't encourage her.
Ruth : Yentl!
Michael : [Russian] But, but I love Barbra Streisand. And it's my party.
Gregory : [Russian] Does anyone have a microphone?
Ruth : What's happening?
Gregory : Michael want you to sing song from Yentl.
[Gregory hands Ruth a microphone]
Russian Woman : You sing from Yentl, da?
Gregory : You know Yentl?
Ruth : Come on. Everybody knows Yentl.
[Ruth approaches Michael]
Ruth : This is for my buddy right here. You've had a very rough day. So picture me in a little cap and glasses, okay, pretending to be a man. Ahem...
[pause]
Ruth : [singing] There are moments you remember all your life, there are moments you wait for and dream of all your life. This is one of those moments...
Michael : [singing] Moments...
Ruth : [singing] I will always remember this chair, that window...
