A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV Series)

The Miserable Mill: Part Two (2017)

Neil Patrick Harris: Count Olaf

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dr. Georgina Orwell : I'm running a business while you're running around wearing my clothes.

  Count Olaf : How quickly we fall into old routines.

  Dr. Georgina Orwell : Perhaps some old flames are better snuffed out.

  Count Olaf : Georgina, you little minx.

  Dr. Georgina Orwell : You have lipstick on your teeth.

  Count Olaf : Yes, it's part of my character.

• Count Olaf : [opens tin]  Hi, I'm cookie. Shirley?

  [closes the tin, realizing the mistake] 

  Count Olaf : Oh, sorry. I'm Shirley. Cookie?

  [opens tin again] 

• Count Olaf : I really wanna practice saying the secret words.

  Dr. Georgina Orwell : Why, so you could take over and you wouldn't need me anymore?

  Count Olaf : Someone has trust issues.

  Dr. Georgina Orwell : Of course I do - I dated you.

  Count Olaf : So, you don't trust me because I'm handsome?

• Violet Baudelaire : Why do you hate us so much?

  Count Olaf : Because it's fun.

• Baudelaire Children , Count Olaf : There's no happy endings, not here and not now, this tale is all sorrows and woes / You may dream that justice and peace win the day, but that's not how the story goes.

• Count Olaf : You're terrible, and I love it.

• Lemony Snicket : You may think that the Baudelaires ought to prevail / and be tucked some place, all safe and sound / Count Olaf captured and rotting in jail / his henchpeople nowhere around.

  Count Olaf : But there's no happy endings, not here and not now, this tale is all sorrows and woes / You may dream that justice and peace win the day, but that's not how the story goes.

  Mr. Poe : You might think that two parents, both brave and both true / Would live till a nice ripe old age / But I'm sad to say I have bad news for you / The curtain rings down on the stage.

• Lemony Snicket : Some people smile at the end of the day.

  Count Olaf : Some people laugh, I suppose.

  Mr. Poe : But to me there is nothing but gloom and despair / That's just how the story goes...

• Count Olaf : The world is a pair of ill-fitting pants, and other dire, hideous clothes.

  Baudelaire Children : You might think that three children would lead pleasant lives, but that's not how the story goes.

• Count Olaf : [to Violet]  Poor little orphan. Haven't you learned anything this year? Week? Season?

• Count Olaf : Count Olaf: If there's nothing up there, then what was that noise?

• Count Olaf : Hi, I'm Cookie, Shirley?