A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV Series)

The Miserable Mill: Part Two (2017)

Patrick Warburton: Lemony Snicket

Quotes 

• Lemony Snicket : Perhaps you've been told never to shout "Fire" in a public place. When you shout "Fire," and there isn't one, it can cause chaos. Of course, when you shout "Fire," and there is one, it can cause chaos but also save lives. Still, there are times when shouting "Fire" can save lives, even when there isn't one. For example, you may be trapped in a motel room with your enemies waiting outside. Shouting "Fire" will cause the kind of chaos that will allow you to escape undetected. Therefore, the life it saves will be your own.

• Lemony Snicket : In a world both frightening and unlucky, there are a few comforts. One of them is making new friends. Friends can make you feel the world is smaller and safer than it really is, because you know people who have similar experiences. When you meet people like that, you may find your world feels a little more complete, like the missing piece of a puzzle or two halves of a broken spyglass.

• Lemony Snicket : "Seeing in black and white" is a way of saying that a person looks at the world in a manner that is overly oversimplified and often incorrect. Like many newspapers, the Daily Punctilio is printed in black and white, and its look at the world is oversimplified and often incorrect.

• Lemony Snicket : We all have skeletons in our closet, metaphorically, meaning "things from our past we'd prefer not leave lying around because they are painful or incriminating or would create unnecessary clutter." In my closet, I keep a 200-page book written by the woman I loved, explaining, at great length and in specific detail, the reason she could not marry me; which, if I were to leave out in the open, I would find myself reading over and over. It would be as if my darling Beatrice were bringing me bad news every day and every night of my life.

• Lemony Snicket : I once loved a girl, and she thought well of me / We thought we'd be happy together / But now I'm alone, as you can well see / She's cold in her grave forever.

• Lemony Snicket : In a world both frightening and unlucky, there are a few comforts. One of them is making new friends. Friends can make you feel the world is smaller and safer than it really is, because you know people who have similar experiences. When you meet people like that, you may find your world feels a little more complete. Like the missing piece of a puzzle or two halves of a broken spyglass.

• Lemony Snicket : You may think that the Baudelaires ought to prevail / and be tucked some place, all safe and sound / Count Olaf captured and rotting in jail / his henchpeople nowhere around.

  Count Olaf : But there's no happy endings, not here and not now, this tale is all sorrows and woes / You may dream that justice and peace win the day, but that's not how the story goes.

  Mr. Poe : You might think that two parents, both brave and both true / Would live till a nice ripe old age / But I'm sad to say I have bad news for you / The curtain rings down on the stage.

• Lemony Snicket : Some people smile at the end of the day.

  Count Olaf : Some people laugh, I suppose.

  Mr. Poe : But to me there is nothing but gloom and despair / That's just how the story goes...