Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV Series)

Monster in the Closet (2016)

Jason Mantzoukas: Adrian Pimento

Photos 

Quotes 

• Charles Boyle : And now Nikolaj says he's too frightened to ever sleep again, so that's just superduper.

  Adrian Pimento : I don't understand what he's so scared about. If I was there to kill him, he never would've heard me.

  Charles Boyle : A thing you told him several times.

  Jake Peralta : God, Nikolaj is having such a rich childhood.

• Adrian Pimento : [Explaining why he was in an Uzbek prison]  I got shot down smuggling ammo to a rebel group, flying an old Soviet prop plane. They tortured us. Made me eat my co-pilot's tongue. Oof, now I've got a taste for it.

• Rosa Diaz : In just 14 hours Amy put together the most amazing non-wedding wedding in history.

  Amy Santiago : Better than "Sleepless in Seattle".

  Adrian Pimento : Nope. That is also Nora Ephron. Kill yourself.

• Jake Peralta : You excited for being married?

  Adrian Pimento : Yeah! I love Rosa. I can't wait to just jam my tongue in her ear holes, and eat the hair off her head. Hoo! I'm giddy.

• Adrian Pimento : The universe is sending me a sign. And when the universe talks, I listen!

  Jake Peralta : Well, I personally don't even really believe in signs, so...

  Adrian Pimento : What? Then you deserve to die! The sign was real. If I ignore it and marry Rosa anyway, I'm basically asking the universe to stomp on my balls.

  Jake Peralta : Okay, good point. Hey, Gina, I could use your help here. You wanna maybe weigh in on this one?

  Gina Linetti : Yeah, sure. You're right. The marriage is cursed.

  Jake Peralta : What? No! You weighed in wrong.

  Gina Linetti : I'm sorry, Jake, it's an omen. And I'm not taking your side against the universe's. It's hundred of years old.

  Jake Peralta : What if there was something in the universe that could prove to you that you should still get married?

  Gina Linetti : What would that be?

  Gina Linetti : Finding his grandma's earrings. Or we could cut Rosa's ears off, and then it's like the earrings don't even make sense.

  Adrian Pimento : Thank you! Someone's trying to help.