- Paradox: Mr Wilson, you appear to have soiled yourself while unconscious.
- Wade Wilson: I wasn't unconscious.
- Blind Al: Wanna do some cocaine?
- Wade Wilson: Hey! Cocaine is the one thing that Feige said is off limits.
- Blind Al: What about Bolivian marching powder?
- Wade Wilson: They know all the slang terms. They have a list.
- Blind Al: Even snowboarding?
- Wade Wilson: Even disco dust.
- Blind Al: White Girl, Interrupted?
- Wade Wilson: Even Forrest Bump.
- Blind Al: Do you want to build a snowman?
- Wade Wilson: Yes! But I can't!
- Wade Wilson: [sees the TVA time sticks] Is that supposed to be scary? Pegging isn't new for me, friendo. But it is for Disney.
- Barman: I told you, you're not welcome here. You're not welcome anywhere. Now get the fuck out of my bar.
- Logan: Just give me one more drink, and then I'll leave.
- Deadpool: Hi, Peanut. I'm gonna need you to come with me right now.
- Logan: Look, lady, I'm not interested.
- Deadpool: All right. Well, I'm sort of on the tick-tick, so upsy-daisy, here we go.
- [Deadpool lifts Logan off his stool]
- Logan: Whoa! Hey, hey!
- [Logan draws his claws, but they move slowly]
- Deadpool: Oh. Whiskey dick of the claws. It's quite common in Wolverines over 40.
- Logan: You don't want this.
- [Deadpool pulls out a pistol and points it at Logan's forehead]
- Deadpool: Unless you want to take a deep breath through your fucking forehead, I suggest you reconsider.
- [Logan laughs and places his forehead against the gun]
- [at the diner]
- Logan: Mind putting your mask back on?
- Wade Wilson: Super hard to eat while I'm wearing it.
- Logan: It's super hard to eat when you're not.