- Lucifer Morningstar: Oh, i haven't heard music like that since... well, since the Silver City.
- Amenadiel: What, there's no music in hell?
- Lucifer Morningstar: Only for torture, and usually out of tune. Lately we've been playing music by this chap named Bieber. Gosh, you should hear the screams.
- Tío Sorrento: Where are you two from?
- Lucifer Morningstar: [Speaking at the same time] Down south.
- Amenadiel: Up north.
- Chloe Decker: What was stolen?
- Amenadiel: My necklace.
- Chloe Decker: The estimated value?
- Amenadiel: It's hard to say, really, uh... It's not of this world, so there's that. Priceless beyond measure.
- Chloe Decker: ...I'll just put down $40.
- Amenadiel: What's going on here?
- Lucifer Morningstar: Uh, well, Brother, when a man and a woman really care about each other, they do a special cuddle for the cameras, which they sell for money.
- Amenadiel: Luci, I know what porn is.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Why are there holes in your dress?
- Amenadiel: It's a robe.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Oh, I apologize. Why are there holes in your dress?
- Amenadiel: It's dangerous for humanity to be exposed to divinity.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Well, I wouldn't sit on that couch... Left a lot of divinity there.
- Amenadiel: What, there's no music in Hell?
- Lucifer Morningstar: Only for torture and usually out of tune. Lately, we've been playing music by this chap named Bieber. Gosh, you should hear the screams.
- Amenadiel: I made a rendering. And I do believe that this should help you with your quest.
- [Passes over badly drawn image of masked man]
- Chloe Decker: Okay. So a jack-o'-lantern stole your necklace?
- Amenadiel: So you know this man? Where can I find this Mr. O'Lantern?
- Amenadiel: [about the corvette] Don't you need some sort of key to start it?
- Lucifer Morningstar: You know me, Brother. I can turn anything on.
- Lucifer Morningstar: I didn't expect you to be so happy to lose your first fight ever, Brother. And to a human, no less.
- Amenadiel: Nice try, Luci, but we both know this doesn't count.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Ah.
- Amenadiel: Not to mention the fact that no mere mortal could ever stand a chance against the full power of my God-given...
- Lucifer Morningstar: Forget it. I regret mentioning it.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Apparently, they have 12 different types of whiskey.
- Amenadiel: Yes, humans are funny with their infinite capacity for distractions.
- Lucifer Morningstar: It's not distraction, Brother. It's choice.
- Lucifer Morningstar: There was a picture of our dead man standing next to a very distinctive décolletage.
- Amenadiel: You identified a human by her boobs?
- Mazikeen: I'm here for the truth.
- Tío Sorrento: You don't have to do this.
- Mazikeen: No.
- [Smiles]
- Mazikeen: I *get* to do this.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Oh, my gosh, that's her, in the flesh. That's Misty Canyons. Oh, my gosh! That's Penis Demilo. Ha! What is this, nirvana? Do all porn stars reside in L.A.?
- Amenadiel: Why are we here?
- Lucifer Morningstar: Well, two reasons, actually. Uh, boobs.
- Amenadiel: [sighs] Why am I not surprised?
- Amenadiel: You've spent more time with humanity, you may understand them better than I do.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Well, most of that time, I was naked, but true nonetheless.
- Amenadiel: Oh, come on, Luci. There must be hundreds of porn stars in Hell.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Sadly, no, on account of all the good work they do here on Earth, I assume.
- Amenadiel: Oh, these poor creatures. They know not what they do.
- Lucifer Morningstar: I beg to differ. Everyone here is well aware that they're doing me.
- Amenadiel: You're just trying to stall your return to Hell.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Oh, I really hoped to get a few more drinks in before you worked that one out.