- Morgan: [upon seeing Agent Wendy] We have a real-life Judi Dench in our midst. You are the boss and yet you have not sacrificed one ounce of femininity.
- Audrey: [as she's put into the van] Okay, what is happening? Did I do something wrong? Am I in trouble?
- Duffer: Listen, we just wanna talk about Drew Thayer. He's your boyfriend, right?
- Audrey: No! I mean, yes. Well, he was my boyfriend, but we broke up. Why, is he in trouble?
- Duffer: Yes. Drew is in a lot of trouble. That's why you're in a van.
- Sebastian: Do you know where your ex-boyfriend worked, Ms. Stockman?
- Audrey: Uh, yeah. NPR. He had a podcast. It was about umm... I'm not 100% sure what it was about, like Jazz and economics.
- Duffer: Okay. Nobody listened to that podcast. Not even me and I went to Harvard.
- Sebastian: [feigning disbelief] Wow. Only took you two minutes.
- Morgan: [slightly buzzed] You know, I was going to drive home. But now I think I just might drive into a wall.
- Finnish Backpacker: [drops assassin on his head, snapping his neck] He was gonna rob us, ja?
- Sebastian: [in shock] Yes... Yes he was.
- Finnish Backpacker: Scary.
- Morgan: [to Audrey] Okay. Someone that you loved just died and asked you to do one last thing. I think you gotta do it. I'll go with you.
- Sebastian: I hope you're not upset about what that girl said on the news.
- Audrey: Oh well. I'm not surprised. It's not like I've done anything that impressive with my life.
- Sebastian: I've seen you do some impressive things. You were a great shot in the cafe. You switched the trophies on me. You didn't break when you were being tortured.
- Audrey: [going the her boyfriend's stuff] Really, Drew. Skid-marks on your underwear? What are you, 8? Did he want me to wash them? It that why he broke up with me, because I didn't mother him enough?
- Drew: [on the phone to Audrey] I'm gonna come over tomorrow and I'm gonna explain everything. Okay? Please don't do anything with my stuff.
- Audrey: I got a quarter left. Your mission, should you chose to accept it, is to find the absolute worst song on the jukebox.
- Drew: [going through Audrey's purse and finding the tube] Thousand guesses and never would've landed on 'thumb'.
- Sebastian: [to Audrey] These vests, they save your life, but they don't prevent you from breaking ribs.
- Morgan: [to Nadedja] What is the name of the nun who beat you in whatever fucking orphanage, you skank?