The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Consummation Deviation (2018)
Simon Helberg: Howard Wolowitz
Photos
Quotes
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Raj Koothrappali : Hey, guys, before Anu gets here, can I talk about the seating situation? I really don't want her to sit on the floor.
Sheldon Cooper : Oh, no problem. Bernadette, floor.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Hey!
Howard Wolowitz : Yeah, you can't make my wife sit on the floor.
Sheldon Cooper : Fine. Howard, floor.
Penny Hofstadter : Fine, I'll sit on the floor.
Raj Koothrappali : Thank you, Penny. And Leonard, I was kind of hoping I could sit next to Anu.
Leonard Hofstadter : So now I have to sit next on the floor? It's my house. Why can't Sheldon sit on the floor?
Sheldon Cooper : That might be the dumbest thing you have ever said.
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Howard Wolowitz : Guys, guys, there's a simple solution.
Raj Koothrappali : I am not breaking up with her.
Howard Wolowitz : All right. Let's keep thinking.
Raj Koothrappali : [a few minutes later] Hey, everybody, it's Anu.
Anu : Hi.
Howard Wolowitz , Leonard Hofstadter , Penny Hofstadter , Bernadette Rostenkowski , Amy Farrah Fowler : [all crammed onto one cushion] Hi!
Sheldon Cooper : [in his spot] Welcome!
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Raj Koothrappali : Hey, Leonard, can you pause the game for a second?
Leonard Hofstadter : Uh, hang on. I'm about to beat Howard.
[Howard pauses the game]
Leonard Hofstadter : What? Hey!
Howard Wolowitz : What? He's our friend. What's up, pal?
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Raj Koothrappali : I don't know how else to say this, but, um, Anu and I are going to have sex tonight.
Howard Wolowitz : [a little too interested] Yeah...
Leonard Hofstadter : Do you know how creepy that sounds?
Howard Wolowitz : [in the same tone] Yeah...
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Leonard Hofstadter : So, is this the first time?
Raj Koothrappali : Yeah.
Leonard Hofstadter : How you feeling about it?
Raj Koothrappali : Uh... to be honest, I'm pretty anxious. I mean, this is the woman I'm marrying. What if it's no good? Do we break up? Do we... sign on for a lifetime of mediocre sex?
Leonard Hofstadter : It's... just don't put so much pressure on it. I-It's always a little awkward in the beginning. I remember the first time I slept with Penny.
Raj Koothrappali : It was bad?
Leonard Hofstadter : Oh, dude, it was awesome! I will replay it in my head until the day I die.
Howard Wolowitz : Well, if it helps, I was really nervous my first time with Bernie, but mostly because I was worried my mom would walk in.
Leonard Hofstadter : Did she?
Howard Wolowitz : Yeah.
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Howard Wolowitz : Hey, have you checked the dates on these? They're all expired.
Stuart Bloom : You buy candy in a comic book store, you get what you get.
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Howard Wolowitz : What are you guys up to?
Sheldon Cooper : Oh, father-in-law/son-in-law bonding. It's going great. Look at what he bought me at the train store.
[he takes out and blows a whistle]
Sheldon Cooper : Yeah, it sounded louder in the car.
Howard Wolowitz : Cool. Can I see it?
Sheldon Cooper : [handing it over] Hmm? Sure.
Howard Wolowitz : Interesting. This is one of those disappearing whistles.
Sheldon Cooper : What are you talking about?
Howard Wolowitz : [making it disappear] Voila.
Larry Fowler : Amazing. Where did it go?
Howard Wolowitz : Look in your pocket.
Larry Fowler : [taking it out] Ah! Oh! Oh! Oh, how did you do that?
Howard Wolowitz : Sorry, a magician never shares his secrets.
Larry Fowler : I'll give you a hundred bucks.
Howard Wolowitz : Sold!
Larry Fowler : Okay. Hey. Where's my wallet?
Howard Wolowitz : [making it appear] Voila.
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Larry Fowler : [Howard shows him the "linked rings" trick] It's like you're actually magic.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : You can do that, but you still can't get my bra off?
Howard Wolowitz : The rings don't roll their eyes at me.
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Howard Wolowitz : What's up?
Sheldon Cooper : I need you to stop being so delightful.
Howard Wolowitz : What?
Sheldon Cooper : I'm supposed to be bonding with him. You have your own father-in-law. Leave mine alone.
Howard Wolowitz : Tell you what, you take my father-in-law, I'll take yours.
Sheldon Cooper : I don't want your father-in-law.
Howard Wolowitz : [doing the "coin behind the ear" trick] Well, what if I throw in a quarter?
Larry Fowler : [giddy like a little kid] Do it again! Do it again!