- Peter Griffin: So what are you kids doing in school?
- Meg Griffin: I got in trouble for saying something "insensitive" to trans kids.
- Lois Griffin: What'd you say?
- Meg Griffin: Well, a few of them started this acapella group, and they're all kinda chubby. So I said "You guys should call yourselves The Trans Fats!"
- Peter Griffin: [laughs] Meg, you'll sit next to me this evening.
- Chris Griffin: But *dad*!
- Peter Griffin: I'm sorry, Chris, you've fallen out of favor. Perhaps forever.
- Lois Griffin: Peter, I think she's doing booze. What should we do?
- Peter Griffin: Lois, she's just being a teenager. We don't know if she's like, for sure, definitely been drinking.
- Lois Griffin: [holds up a Taco Bell bag] I found this in her room.
- Peter Griffin: [crying] My little girl's a drunk! Oh my God, where did we go wrong?
- Stewie Griffin: [answering the phone] Hello.
- Brian Griffin: Hey Stewie, it's me. You got a second?
- Stewie Griffin: Brian, hang on. Hey, keep it down you screwballs! Here, let me just go somewhere a little quieter.
- [it turns out Stewie's just playing his tape recorder]
- Stewie Griffin: Oh yeah right, *I'm* the screwball.
- [turns it off]
- Brian Griffin: You and your friends say "screwball" a lot.
- Stewie Griffin: That's what happens when you run with a screwy crowd. What's up with you?
- Peter Griffin: So... your mom says you've been drinking.
- Meg Griffin: Yeah, a little bit. But it's nothing you like, have to worry about.
- Peter Griffin: Look, I was young too. You know, I remember going to parties... walking up with a six-pack, you're so excited to get there you start jogging a little... your friends are all there and they're so happy to see you they are practically cheering your name. And then Mooney Mooney comes on at just the right time, and everyone's dancing and Laura Helston's jugs are just slamming into ya, you don't have a care in the world... and if it all came to an end right then and there, so be it.
- [concerned again]
- Peter Griffin: Well, you're my daughter. And I don't want any of that for you.