- Queen Helena: Help! Anyone! Help!
- Cyrus: It's locked.
- Queen Helena: Damn it, Cyrus! You're creepy enough in the light of day! What are you doing down here?
- Cyrus: Same as you, I assume. I came to get drunk. And I was doing a fine job before you started pounding on that damn door.
- Queen Helena: Well, help me open it.
- Cyrus: Impossible. The power's out and the lock on that door's electric. And without electricity, even a team of Catherine the Great's favorite horses couldn't open that door.
- The Grand Duchess: So we're trapped?
- Cyrus: Holy shit! And you thought I was creepy.
- Queen Helena: Mother! What are you doing here?
- The Grand Duchess: This is always my first stop whenever I visit the palace. I need a little bracer before I visit my disappointing daughter.
- Queen Helena: I ment: What are you doing here at all? I banished you!
- The Grand Duchess: Well, I unbanished myself.
- Cyrus: You've run out of money.
- The Grand Duchess: Shut up, Scar. And open that door! This whole thing is becoming incredibly boring.
- Queen Helena: I can't.
- The Grand Duchess: Just like I said. Disappointing.
- Cyrus: I found candles.
- Queen Helena: Wonderful. Now all you have to do is make fire.
- The Grand Duchess: Here. What would you do without me?
- Queen Helena: Ooh, let's see. Have more self-confidence, sleep better, not worry about being accessory to murder.
- The Grand Duchess: Not become Queen. I am so hungry.
- Queen Helena: We'll probably starve to death down here. Or rather, I'll starve and you two jackals will eat me.
- Cyrus: For that, I won't be sharing my feast with you.
- Queen Helena: What feast?
- Cyrus: This worm. I plan to drink this entire bottle of mezcal and then eat the worm. Duchie?
- The Grand Duchess: I'm in.
- Cyrus: Go to Hell-ena?
- Queen Helena: No, thank you.
- Cyrus: More for me.
- The Grand Duchess: What is this?
- [INHALES]
- The Grand Duchess: Mm, jackpot! Figgy pudding.
- Cyrus: Didn't the Queen get a black eye from a figgy pudding while having sex with the help down here?
- The Grand Duchess: That doesn't surprise me. She's always had hospitable loins.
- Queen Helena: On second thoughts, I'll have some of that tequila. Maybe I can get drunk and pass out.