Siskel & Ebert (TV Series)

War of the Worlds/Fantastic Four/The Deal/Undead/Dark Water/Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)

Richard Roeper: Self - Host

Quotes 

• Richard Roeper - Host : [reviewing "War of the Worlds"]  We really don't get to know any of the characters. Nor do the aliens have much personality beyond their insatiable hunger for human blood. There's also an intriguing but kind of strange interlude with Tim Robbins as a survivalist, it seemed like it was from another movie. Still, I'm giving this movie thumbs up for the terrific work by Cruise and Fanning, and those sensational action sequences.

  Roger Ebert - Host : Thumbs down for me. I thought this was totally in a different and more disappointing category than "E.T." or "Close Encounters" or "Minority Report". I mean, Spielberg has made three of the best science fiction movies of the last twenty-five years...

  Richard Roeper - Host : Okay.

  Roger Ebert - Host : ...And this is not one of them. The alien tripods are clunky and clangy...

  Richard Roeper - Host : No they're not.

  Roger Ebert - Host : ...And old-fashioned.

  Richard Roeper - Host : Well, they're supposed to be old-fashioned. They're based on the H.G. Wells, original version of it.

  Roger Ebert - Host : Okay, but that was set in 19- 1898, so set the movie in 1898, because y'know, tripods don't even make sense. They're not stable, they should have four legs, instead of three.

  Richard Roeper - Host : You're hung up on the tripod factor.

  Roger Ebert - Host : But also, they've been waiting for a million years underneath the ground and they haven't been found by anyone digging a subway or putting in an electric line?

  Richard Roeper - Host : They're, they're deep, DEEP, DEEP...

  Roger Ebert - Host : Oh, deep.

  Richard Roeper - Host : ...They're in the core, where Hillary Swank once went, way down there.

  Roger Ebert - Host : They're waiting a million years, and then when they come up, what they wanna do is zap us with death rays and suck our blood?

  Richard Roeper - Host : Well, I mean...

  Roger Ebert - Host : After a million years? Couldn't they come up with anything better than THAT?

  Richard Roeper - Host : Well, they're hungry.

  Roger Ebert - Host : And then...

  Richard Roeper - Host : They're hungry.

  Roger Ebert - Host : ...Tom Cruise is just basically in the foreground, holding Dakota Fanning and thinking about things he can do to try to protect his family from these RIDICULOUS mechanical monsters. I mean it's like, the Iron Giant is svelte compared to them.

  Richard Roeper - Host : I think you're really hung up on the whole "tripod alien" thing.

  Roger Ebert - Host : I didn't like the tripods. I did NOT, I did NOT like the tripods. They were not interesting aliens. What was inside of them was less interesting still.

  Richard Roeper - Host : Well, I'll tell ya, Roger, there have been very few movies about alien invasions where we really get great motivation on the aliens' part for coming to the planet Earth. I mean, that's always gonna be the thing: They come here to either say hello or to eat us. There's, they don't just show up every once in a while.

  Roger Ebert - Host : Whether they say hello or eat us, at least they're more interesting. They were more interesting, for example, in "Independence Day".

  Richard Roeper - Host : Well, no, I don't think so. But I also think you're just short-changing, first of all, Cruise's character, who's this, I thought it was interesting that he was kind of a lousy father, and he doesn't all of a sudden become a stunt man like these guys usually do, like Tom Cruise did in a movie like "The Firm" where he's jumping off trucks...

  Roger Ebert - Host : He doesn't become a stuntman, but he DOES get inside a pod and dive into a basket full of children...

  Richard Roeper - Host : Yeah, because he's gonna save his children!

  Roger Ebert - Host : ...And grab out his daughter, get her outside of the pod.

  Richard Roeper - Host : Yeah. And that's good stuff.

  Roger Ebert - Host : And throw a grenade over his shoulder, that wouldn't be a stunt man, would it?

  Richard Roeper - Host : By then, he's pretty deep into this, y'know, this harrowing adventure. And I think you're short-changing Spielberg's abilities here, y'know, these great stunt sequences, like when that whole crowd is on that ferry, and they're trying to get on the boat, and then there's moments where the crowd turns against each other, and there's great images.

  Roger Ebert - Host : There are some great shots in the movie. The train, on fire, roaring through the station, that's a great shot.

  Richard Roeper - Host : That's a great shot.

  Roger Ebert - Host : So there are some great moments in the movie, but still, thumbs down for me.

• Richard Roeper - Host : [discussing "War of the Worlds"]  Before we move on, I just want to make this clear. So if you're standing there in a multiplex, and you've got your nine or ten bucks in your hand, you're saying that you should go see "The Longest Yard" or "The Honeymooners" before you should go see "War of the Worlds".

  Roger Ebert - Host : I'm saying- well, how many times do I have to explain to you that ratings are relative, not absolute?

  Richard Roeper - Host : You, you know, I understand it, I'm just saying...

  Roger Ebert - Host : I'm saying if "E.T." gets four stars and "Close Encounters" gets four stars, this gets two stars.

  Richard Roeper - Host : And "Longest Yard" gets thumbs up, and this gets thumbs down.

  Roger Ebert - Host : Well, y'know, oddly enough, no. It doesn't work that way.

  Richard Roeper - Host : Well how does it not work that way?

  Roger Ebert - Host : Because, people should be smart enough...

  Richard Roeper - Host : Right.

  Roger Ebert - Host : ...To listen to what we say instead of looking at the dumb thumbs and the dumb stars, because there are gradations and contexts that go on.

  Richard Roeper - Host : All right, but you're giving this movie thumbs down?

  Roger Ebert - Host : I am. And if you read my review in the paper or hear what I said here, you'll understand why.

  Richard Roeper - Host : I look forward to reading more.

  Roger Ebert - Host : And if you go to see "Minority Report", you'll see that this is half the movie that that was.

  Richard Roeper - Host : And it's still worth seeing, I say.