Family Guy (TV Series)

Petey IV (2017)

John Viener: Vladimir Putin

Photos 

Quotes 

• Peter Griffin : How do you say "friend" in Russian?

  Vladimir Putin : There is no Russian word for it.

• Peter Griffin : So, what do you do for fun around here? You got DirecTV?

  Vladimir Putin : We have Time Warner.

  Peter Griffin : You got HBO?

  Vladimir Putin : We have Starz.

  Peter Griffin : You got ESPN?

  Vladimir Putin : We have Fox Sports 1.

  Peter Griffin : Does that come in HD?

  Vladimir Putin : 420P.

  Peter Griffin : You got...

  Vladimir Putin : Everything you say, I say something little bit worse.

  Peter Griffin : You got "Simpsons"?

  Vladimir Putin : We have "Family Guy".

  Peter Griffin : [disappointed]  Ah, I did it to myself.

• Peter Griffin : Vladimir Putin?

  Vladimir Putin : Da. Where is bathroom? I George Brett myself on plane.

  Peter Griffin : Gross!

  [breaking the fourth wall] 

  Peter Griffin : You can Google that during the commercial.

• Vladimir Putin : Peter, you not coward I thought. You put up impressive fight.

  Peter Griffin : Thanks, Vladimir. You know, as someone who doesn't read the paper or listen to the news, you're not such a bad guy.

  Vladimir Putin : Well, thank you. To show there are no hard feelings, anyone want to go to strip club and look at some cat emojis with me?

  Peter Griffin : Hell, yeah.

  Joe Swanson : I'm up for the strip club.

  Vladimir Putin : Great. Who's driving?

  Peter Griffin : You know, you're gonna think I'm crazy, but it's such a nice day, I was kind of thinking of taking my shirt off and riding a horse there.

  Vladimir Putin : Get out! That's totally my thing!

• Lois Griffin : Oh, my god. President Putin? What-what are you doing here?

  Vladimir Putin : Husband write me impertinent e-mail. Says any American can beat up any Russian. I am here to prove him wrong.

  Lois Griffin : You're gonna beat up my husband?

  Vladimir Putin : Unless he American chicken.

  Peter Griffin : Did you just call me... chicken?

  Vladimir Putin : Yes. Chicken.

  [flapping his arms] 

  Vladimir Putin : Fi-cray! Fi-cray! Fi-cray! Sound different in Russia.

  Peter Griffin : Nobody calls me... chicken. Outside, now.

• Vladimir Putin : Welcome to Russia, Peter.

  Peter Griffin : Man, Russia has the hottest and ugliest women in the world. All tens and ones.

  [passing by women on the sidewalk] 

  Peter Griffin : Wow! Whoa. Wow! Whoa. Wow! Whoa.

  [sadly, as a woman says "whoa"] 

  Peter Griffin : Aw, I'm a "whoa."

• Vladimir Putin : Well, Peter, thank you for showing me Quahog.

  Peter Griffin : Ah, it was fun. I'm gonna miss you, Vladimir.

  Vladimir Putin : So, come with me back to Russia. I need friend.

  Peter Griffin : Aw, I'm flattered, but my home is here. And besides, I can't go to Russia. I'm scared of Brigitte Nielsen.

  Vladimir Putin : She is here with you in your country.

  Peter Griffin : She-she's here now? Is she... O... all ri...

  [ushering him onto the plane] 

  Peter Griffin : Okay, okay, let's go. Let's go, let's go, wheels up, let's go!

  [Nielsen bursts onto the runway] 

  Peter Griffin : Oh, my god, she can smell the tiny bottles of booze. We gotta go! We gotta go now!

  [catching up, she hangs onto the wheel well, but the force of take-off pushes her off] 

  Chris Griffin : [praying at his bedside]  Dear Lord, please send me a 6'7" blonde woman who likes to drink until she blacks out.

  [she crashes through the roof of another house] 

  John Herbert : I think we got our prayers crossed.

  [a boy about his age crashes through the roof onto Chris' bed]