- Danny Williams: See that? Looks like Santa's right over New Jersey right now. That's good news.
- Charlie Williams: Is he going to visit Aunt Bridget?
- Danny Williams: Yeah, he's gonna visit Aunt Bridget. He's gonna do that. He's gonna do that. He's a big guy, but he's very fast. So he's gonna visit Aunt Bridget, and then he's gonna come make his way over here, so we gotta get this story going, don't we?
- Charlie Williams: What happened after the bad guys robbed the truck?
- Danny Williams: Well, uh... oh, I made a mista... I forgot, I gotta go backwards. There's characters in this story that I want to introduce you to that I forgot. Is that all right?
- Charlie Williams: Who?
- Danny Williams: Who? Who? I'll tell you who, my little owl.
- Lou Grover: [Jerry is singing along to "Baby, It's Cold Outside"] Hey, Cortana, pause.
- Jerry Ortega: Why'd you do that?
- Lou Grover: It was good. It was good, but you're doing the whole thing wrong, Jerry. You're supposed to be singing the Dean Martin part.
- Jerry Ortega: Well, this is more my register.
- Lou Grover: Jerry, if you don't sing the Dean Martin part, then the whole damn thing is ass backwards. Then it's like, uh, she's trying to seduce you instead of the other way around.
- Jerry Ortega: Feels good to be desired sometimes.
- Lou Grover: By a machine? Never mind, don't answer that.