Lucifer (TV Series)
Somebody's Been Reading Dante's Inferno (2019)
Tom Ellis: Lucifer Morningstar
Photos
Quotes
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Chloe Decker : [holding axe to Lucifer] If I pushed this into your chest... it would kill you?
Lucifer Morningstar : Yes.
Chloe Decker : Because I'm close to you?
Lucifer Morningstar : Yes.
Chloe Decker : But you jumped in front of it anyway?
Lucifer Morningstar : Yes. And I would do it again. And again. Don't you know that, Detective?
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Chloe Decker : Lucifer, oh my god.
Lucifer Morningstar : Well, there's an oxymoron.
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Chloe Decker : History and religion have painted a pretty awful picture of you, haven't they?
Lucifer Morningstar : You couldn't be more right, Detective.
Chloe Decker : So... You don't bite the heads off of children?
Lucifer Morningstar : Uh, no. Of course not.
[laughs]
Lucifer Morningstar : I detest the little creatures. And I'd certainly never put one in my mouth.
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Chloe Decker : What about Hell?
Lucifer Morningstar : [Chuckles] Oh, right. That's what this is about, is it? You probably want to know who's down there, don't you? Well, many may surprise you. Jim Morrison, for instance, Gary Coleman.
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Lucifer Morningstar : Let's find those balls.
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Chloe Decker : You said it, he's the villain. If it walks like a duck, it talks like a duck, it probably murders like a duck
Lucifer Morningstar : Oh, good idea, duck. Have you ever been to the Mistral? They do a wonderful duck à l'orange.
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Ira the Beardy Hipster : Secrets are part of the game, but they're part of life, too. At the end of the day, aren't we all putting on a facade?
Lucifer Morningstar : Well, I know I am.
[Whispers to Chloe]
Lucifer Morningstar : Pretending that these people don't stink like a pack of wildebeests. Do they actually bathe on this show?
Kylie the Rocker : I can hear you!
Lucifer Morningstar : Can you? But can you smell me?
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Lucifer Morningstar : Isn't that the point of these programs, Detective? To show there's no such thing as stereotypes?
Chloe Decker : Yeah.
Lucifer Morningstar : That in real life a Mary Ann might be hiding inside the body of a Ginger, or vice versa, which is my personal preference, actually.
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Lucifer Morningstar : [about the burning cabin] I wouldn't go in there, Detective. It's hotter than... well, you know.
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Lucifer Morningstar : Speaking of extreme, ever heard of extreme dates? Swimming with sharks? Or jelly wrestling, perhaps? That's always a good icebreaker.
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Ella Lopez : [about the victim's stomach contents] Okay, so we got rice, coconut, snails... all typical for someone on a survival reality show. Here's what's not typical. We got sugar, flour, cacao, raisins, cherries and rum?
Lucifer Morningstar : Uh, that is the ingredients of Hungarian rum balls.
Ella Lopez : That is oddly specific. And... actually, a pretty good guess.
Lucifer Morningstar : Spent a lot of time with Attila, actually, back in the day.
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Lucifer Morningstar : We know that you found the totem, Judd. And we believe that Melinda stole it from you. So perhaps you found out and had a bit of a tiff?
Judd : [scoffs] What? You guys are high.
Lucifer Morningstar : Oh, I wish.
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Ella Lopez : This is the Teflon Totem. Only one is hidden on The Cabin per season. You find this bad boy, and you are safe from elimination. Guess where I found it?
Lucifer Morningstar : Well, if it keeps you safe from "elimination", I'd say tucked right up in...
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Judd : I'm sorry for the asshole act, it's just for the cameras.
Lucifer Morningstar : What do you mean, an act?
Judd : It's the best way to win the cash. I studied every season of The Cabin. 62% of the time, the villain wins. So to play the odds, that's the role I'm playin'.
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Lucifer Morningstar : Since you're here, you can help me decide. Moscow Midnight or Blue Lagoon?
Amenadiel : That's the same shirt.
[Lucifer gives him a look]
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Greyson the Lawyer : I'm a lawyer, so I admit, I'm used to doing whatever it takes to win. But I'm not gonna kill anybody.
Lucifer Morningstar : And what about romantic liaisons?
[Looks at Chloe]
Lucifer Morningstar : I mean, it's hard to stop an attraction, just because you're working together... I mean, playing a game.
Ilene the Ex-Marine : I would never fraternize with the enemy, sir. Eyes on the prize.
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Kylie the Rocker : Thank God you're okay.
Lucifer Morningstar : He certainly had nothing to do with it.