- Sheldon Cooper: You think *I* have mental problems?
- Mary Cooper: Well, not *problems*. I'm just worried about your future. And when I see you moving sub-atomic particles around in the air, that makes me...
- Sheldon Cooper: Sub-atomic particles are real! You talk to an invisible man in the sky who grants wishes - if anyone's mental, it's *you*!
- George Cooper Sr.: Alright, see, when you get tackled in your own end zone, the other team gets two points and the ball. That's called a safety.
- Missy Cooper: I thought one of the players was a safety.
- George Cooper Sr.: Well, that's true too.
- Missy Cooper: I'm confused.
- George Cooper Sr.: Now you know how I feel when you talk about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
- Missy Cooper: What's confusing? Everything you need to know is in the title.
- Mary Cooper: Do you ever feel paranoid, like people are out to get you?
- Sheldon Cooper: I'm a ten-year-old in high school; people *are* out to get me.
- Mary Cooper: ...fair point.
- Sheldon Cooper: Mother?
- Mary Cooper: Yes?
- Sheldon Cooper: Is it okay if I use a knife to butter my toast, or are you worried I'll do something crazy with it?
- Mary Cooper: You can butter your own toast.
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh good, you can see the toast too. I was worried I was imagining it.
- Mary Cooper: Sheldon...
- George Cooper Sr.: Alright, that's enough.
- Meemaw: What's going on?
- Mary Cooper: Nothing's going on; everything's fine.
- Missy Cooper: I'll tell you later.
- Sheldon Cooper: My mother believes I'm mentally unstable. And since there's a genetic component and I'm her child, I suppose it's possible.
- Mary Cooper: I know you're angry right now, but you will not be disrespectful.
- Sheldon Cooper: You know, fits of rage are a classic sign of psychosis.
- Mary Cooper: Oh, you haven't seen fits of rage yet!
- George Cooper Sr.: I said that's enough! Both of y'all are acting like lunatics?
- Missy Cooper: You up to speed?
- Meemaw: I think I got it.