Ghosty-2's Reviews

A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)

1/10

3 October 2001

Oh my god. What an utterly, utterly, AWFUL movie. It's only redeeming features are 1) The special effects, 2) that the producers did not do the "PC" thing and recall the film to edit out shots including the World Trade Centre. Good for them.

A thoroughly boring movie. Runs for so long you'll think the cinema has been trapped under ice for 2000 years. By half-way, you'll be praying for David to die in the current scene so you can get OUT of there. By 2/3 of the way through, you will want to drill a hole in your skull to let the boredom out. Nearly but not quite the worst movie I've ever had the misfortune to see on the big screen.

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Deep Blue Sea (1999)

3/10

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

26 December 1999

Boring. Saw "Deep Blue Sea" in the middle of a movie marathon. Would have slept through it, if the sound wasn't so loud.

Take one bad horror movie, add three large sharks, several scientists, and cook in a medium oven until half-baked. Sprinkle with bad cliches and serve boring.

3/10 : I wouldn't see it unless you've got a thing for people being torn apart by extremely large sharks.

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Wild Wild West (1999)

2/10

*Yawn*

14 September 1999

Ok ok.. so this movie wasnt *complete* crap.. but it was close. The plot (or rather, the complete absence of a plot) was lame and full of holes.

The special effects were good, but good effects does not a good movie make, and this one certainly isnt about to break that rule.

Credit where credit is due, the writers at least attempted to write a decent storyline and didnt completely rely on elaborately coreographed fight scenes (as in all movies by a certain (bad) (awful) (terrible) (abysmal) martial "artist" with a french name)

Overall, 2/10 only for the special effects

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Flight of the Intruder (1991)

9/10

A great movie

14 August 1999

Warning: Spoilers

Perhaps I should say "A really great movie *if you like planes*". This is not repeat not a chick flick.

Flight of the Intruder is based on the book with the same name by Stephen Coonts. (As usual, the book is much better than the movie; it's well worth the read)

Flying an A-6 Intruder may not be quite as glamorous as the "Fighter pukes", but Jake Grafton (the principal character) wouldn't swap it.

But when on a pointless "toothpick mission" (Blowing up a bunch of trees) Jake's bombardier is shot and fatally wounded by small arms fire, Jake becomes disillusioned, and angry at the political restrictions on the war.

With the aid of his new bombardier, "Tiger" Cole, Jake decides to bomb an unauthorised target to vent his frustration at being forced to fight the war with one hand tied behind their backs.

There is quite a bit of original footage in this movie, which is really great to see.. a lot of more modern movies just plaguarise footage from earlier movies, which really detracts from them when you're going "Hey! That shot was from Flight of the Intruder!"

I give Flight of the Intruder a 10/10. It's well made and very enjoyable.

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Universal Soldier: The Return (1999)

1/10

Second worst movie I've ever seen

10 August 1999

I think the summary says it all. It's the second worst movie I've ever seen. The absolute worst was "Legionnaire".. another Van-Damme movie. I'm beginning to see a pattern here.

The movie gets a big 1/10. DON'T BOTHER SEEING IT!

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Storm (1999 Video)

1/10

Low budget trash

1 July 1999

I think the summary says it all. I can't believe I rented it.

I don't normally write scathing reviews of movies but I wasted six bucks and nearly two hours on it, so it has to be done.

You might expect this kind of movie from Luke Perry, but I thought that Martin Sheen might have been above doing movies like this one.

Generally, the standard of acting was terrible. Perry should stick to teeny-soaps, where acting is not a prerequisite. Whoever cast him as a meteorologist should be flogged to death with a wet cat.

Sheen is better but still unconvincing in the role of the renegade Airforce officer.

The special effects were so fake you could practically see the fishing line. The last minute double-cross in the plot could have worked except for the wooden acting which killed it.

In conclusion it's a waste of perfectly good video tape. I give it a great big ZERO out of ten.

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The Mummy (1999)

5/10

Very Indiana Jones... but not that good

26 June 1999

The Mummy was very "Indiana Jones"-ish.. And the special effects were good.. But that's expected these days..

Overall.. Pretty average really.. 5/10

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Legionnaire (1998)

1/10

Complete trash

7 March 1999

I'm sorry, but I have to say this is the WORST movie I have EVER seen on the big screen. It has absolutely NO ending at all whatsoever and I suspect that they may have run out of film 2/3 of the way through production.

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