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IcePirat
Reviews
The World's Most Amazing Vacation Rentals: Best of Bali (2021)
Fun concept, obnoxious hosting
I don't think I'll be able to watch another episode. The concept is great, but I feel like the hosts are directed to act in the most obnoxious manner possible. I would prefer the people to show me who they are in the show than tell me in the intro. Their enthusiasm feels forced.
Underworld (2003)
Good but moderately flawed.
Perhaps it was my fault, but I expected so much more out of this movie. First of all, how hard is it to pronounce the full name of lycanthrope? I guess because vampire has two syllables, lycans have to have two as well. Second, I am beginning to think end-of-the-movie voice overs are the work of the devil. The visual and the voice-over at the end here are contradictory. ***spoiler***Third, NOT A SINGLE VAMPIRE GOT SHOT! during the whole movie. If you're going to show us a handy dandy new-fangled bullet that is supposed to whup vamps good, show it in use fer crissakes.***end spoiler*** Fourth - you need to either have different dialog, or an actor who can say "very well" and mean it. It wasn't all bad though. It had fun vampire ambiance, the best werewolf change FX I've ever seen, and medium good vampire werewolf mythos.
Eight Legged Freaks (2002)
OK movie, Bad sound
Short and Sweet: This movie was fun, but it was ruined by bad sound. The music was occasionally intrusive, and the spider sounds were just a little too over the top. If you like quirky movies, give this one a try. It is meant to be watched tongue in cheek. My rating: 7/10
The Ninth Gate (1999)
He coulda been a contendah!
This was my first Roman Polanski film, and it may be my last. I don't know who Polanski was shooting at, but it wasn't me. The worst thing is that it comes so close! I would go so far as to say I liked it right to the scene where Balkan immolates himself. All of a sudden, Frank Langella forgets how to act! After a brief looksee through the internet I did not see anybody mention how Corso just happens to witness or be a part of a scene in the movie that depicts every one of the engravings. The ending was the thing that really did this movie in for me. 1) Why does Corso need the darn piece of paper if he made the scene that was portrayed in the engraving? Why is the representation more important than the reality? 2)Why did the spanish brothers take the page out of the book? If they were goody goodies they could have destroyed it. 3) Why don't we see any kind of triumph on the part of Corso? It was all so anticlimactic to me. Not to say that the movie was all bad. Depp IS a damn fine actor. The flick was suspenseful. I thought that the cinematography was fantastic. The special effects were annoyingly bad though. Finally I must express my irritation at the fans of this movie. This seems to be their attitude - "Well I understand this movie - if you don't then you must be a lesser being." Gimme a break.
Nightfall (1988)
Good for masochists!
I must have done something very bad in a previous life to deserve to watch this. Very very bad. If you took plot points between this movie and the book, there would be approximately 0.5% similarity.
make no mistake - this is not one of the fun bad movies, it is just plain bad bad bad bad bad.
Two sex scenes with a fine lookin' woman and they ruined them - b*****ds.
Whatever it was I did, I am sorry. So sorry.
Witchcraft X: Mistress of the Craft (1998)
Astonishingly Bad
I still can't believe how bad this movie was. If I wasn't a massochist I don't know if I would have survived the viewing. It looks like it cost about $1000 to make, but it wasn't the money that brought them down. The acting was horrid - not just bad, 3rd graders could have read the lines better. Second, the only other reason to watch this kind of movie is the skin, and that is sorely lacking in this flick. We don't even get to see the more attractive chicas in the buff.
Ahh well, better luck next time eh?
Hart's War (2002)
Underwhelming
This flick was underwhelming and totally average. There were just too many plot points that were brought up and abandoned. e.g. Senator's son, both went to Yale, Hart's lie, etc. The German Colonel was almost the most sympathetic character. None of the characters were very well developed at all. I think this film was either edited poorly, or written without a cohesive point. If it did have a point, I didn't get it. This movie was worth the money I paid to see it, but not worth the time it took. If that makes any sense. It was also really damn slow.
Ach jodel mir noch einen - Stosstrupp Venus bläst zum Angriff (1974)
High praise for low art
I will admit that this movie was awful, cheesy, sexist, badly dubbed, and poorly edited, but I loved it anyway. I first saw this movie when I was 14, and it has stuck with me ever since. FYI, this is very close to hard-core porn as I remember. It certainly got my juices flowing. This flick gives a whole new meaning to swedish erotica. It is a humourous take on human sexuality as seen by hot randy female aliens who are, I think, just looking for some spermatozoa for their dying race.
Dark City (1998)
High praise for the best film of 1998
I loved this movie for several reasons. This was easily the film that I most enjoyed this year. One of the interesting things was that during the film I had no inclination to look at my watch and say geez! this is a long movie, but afterward, I said geez! that movie was much longer than the hour and a half that I spent in the theater. It was just that engrossing. The originality of it was a lot of what made it so great for me. I am not saying that every part was original (the sun never came out in Blade Runner either), but the way in which it was put together was very stimulating. This movie will absolutely be my first purchase on DVD. Down with divx!