Reviews

I'm not the kind to just write haphazard reviews just so people can see my wonderful opinion online. I have to really believe in the film to get myself to write about it. Remember the movie "Crazy People" with Dudley Moore? It was a comedy about truth in advertising. There was a film in that film called "The Scream" which had the tag line "This movie won't just scare you. It will F**k you up for life". That line shoulda been used for this film. This is THE REAL THING. It's the most well structured, incredibly well executed film I've seen in years (hell, maybe ever). After a title card explaining what we are about to witness, the entire film is made up of "Raw" camera footage from both a 16mm movie camera and a hi-8 video camera discovered a year after the events on the media. The footage relates the story of 3 student filmmakers hiking through the woods of Maryland, seeking out sites of gruesome mutilations by a mythical Blair Witch. Things go bad, then worse and then indescribably horrible as they lose their way deeper into the woods all the while being stalked by something that may or may not be human.

The actors are first rate. It's not easy to describe the ease which the actors pull the audience in with their performances. On one hand, I'd like to see these performers move on to deserved better things, but at the same time, I'd like never to see them in another film... just to bolster the illusion of this film.

There is not a drop of blood spilled, nor is there any background music to be heard. That's right. NO MUSIC! This film is the only one I can recall that can scare without the use of musical Stings or excessive bloodletting. That in itself is an achievement. Sound effects carry a lot of the tension and fear, but it's what the movie DOESN'T visually show that is the most terrifying.

This film won't be for everyone. The narrative and camera style might throw people off. The fact that this isn't a film you can dismiss with a laugh might throw others off. Let them stick with their ultra hip "Scary Movies" (I loathe that term). This is THE REAL THING.

Made on a very low budget in 1981, Comin' At Ya! was the first successful full length 3D motion picture since Andy Warhol's Frankenstein (Or was it The Stewardesses?). It started an early 80's resurgence of 3D films that (unfortunately) quickly died due to bad, bad movies and poor projection. Believe it or not, this (along with Friday the 13th Part 3) is arguably the best of that batch.

The 80 minute plot (which, without the endless assault of blatant 3D effects, would probably clock in at just over a half an hour) is very slight. In an opening flashback, Hart and his girl Abilene rob a Wells Fargo bank, get attacked by mercenaries, get married and get attacked once again, this time by white slave traders who take Abiline and leave Hart for dead. Hart survives, though, and sets out to find her. The bad guys lump Abiline in with a group of other women that they intend to use, abuse, and sell into prostitution across the border into Mexico. Hart and his scottish preacher sidekick(?) capture the head bad guys brother and use him as leverage to get his new wife back.

Now, I don't know how seriously the filmmakers were taking this story because sometimes the film seems like it's trying to be funny and other times it's incredibly deadpan. I'd like to say it's a spoof of Sergio Leone's Italian oaters (The actor's mouths move in English, but are still dubbed over by voice over artists, the soundtrack is a complete Morricone rip off and the lead actor strives for Eastwood's man with no name personna), but I'm not completely sure of the intention. I am sure of what the film is, however. It is the most gimmicky 3D movie I've ever seen. Not 5 minutes pass without guns, daggers, arrows, sticks, spilling beans, baby asses (midway through a diaper change), rats, bats and soap bubbles flying out in your face. The last five minutes of the film are a recap of the more successful 3D effects spun together with footage of fireworks and pinwheels sparking and spinning against a black background. About 75% of it works, though. The rest come too close to the camera and causes eye strain. It's 3D movies like this that give the rest a bad name.

Don't misunderstand me. I was entertained by this film, make no mistake. It's hard not to be entertained by a film that doesn't want a single thought entering your head for its running time. It's a 3D movie equivalent to a porno film... If you've never seen a 3D movie before, don't start here (see House OF Wax first), but If you've seen the best, then it never hurts to see the rest. Oh, yeah, a six pack helps this one immeasurably.

This is probably John Waters' most underrated movie. It's the 1950's and good girl Alison Vernon-Williams (Amy Locane)is "tired of being good". She wants to hang with the Drapes (Baltimore slang for greasers) and be a bad girl. Only problem is, she's living in the world of the Squares. She has a Square boyfriend (Baldwin, played by Stephen Mailer), an upper middle-class square life, and her grandmother (Polly Bergen) is the head of the moral upper class (their motto is the 4 "B"s, "Beauty, Brains, Breeding, Bounty"; an actual real life phrase from Waters' grandmother). What's a young Debutante to do but fall for the town's most notorious juvenile deliquent, "Cry Baby" Walker (Johnny Depp).

While not nearly as disgusting or offensive as his other films (Hell, it even makes Hairspray seem subversive), this film struck a chord with me more than any other of his films. It's an authentic throwback to the Jukebox Musicals of the 1950's and early 1960's. Everyone in the cast is in on the joke and the performances are jubilant. There are tons of authentic 1950's songs to be found, both originals and lip-synched by the principals (Vocals done by Rachel Sweet, James Intveld and Timothy B. Schmitt).

Johnny Depp finds his footing quickly in the role of a teen-age idol deliquent that all of the girls want and all of the guys hate. He's actually spoofing his then "21 Jump Street" Tiger Beat pin up image. I must say that up until this movie, I didn't like Johnny Depp. His sense of humor and self effacing performance changed me forever and I've been a fan ever since.

The rest of the cast includes Ricky Lake (Before she lost the weight and any shred of credibility due to her sleazy talk show), Traci Lords, Susan Tyrell, Iggy Pop, Patty Hearst, David Nelson, Troy Donahue, Joe Dellasandro, Joey Heatherton... in fact Waters comes real close to realising his dream of having an entire cast of stars, both as leads and secondary actors.

The theatrical version runs 86 minutes and is tampered with by the studio with cuts and re-shoots. Sometimes, though, USA network runs the uncut version with cut scenes, alternate scenes , and and extra song, "Chicken", originally done by Burt Convy(!). This is a much funnier and coherent version and should be looked for by fans of this film.

Scenes to watch out for include the Turkey Point make-out sequence, the aborted Jailbreak by Hatchet Face (wonderfully played in true Dreamland style by Kim McGuire) and Milton (Darren E. Burrows), and ALL of the musical performances (it's impossible to choose just one).

If you dig Jukebox Rock-n-Roll movies (and if you don't.. you're a SQUARE!!!!), you need to see this one.

The first time I saw ANY footage of this film was when I was looking through junk reels of 35mm film. There were only two reels of it, but I figured with a title like "Terror at Red Wolf Inn", it had to be worth sampling. At 40 minutes, the film ran out through the projector and I was hooked. It was almost an entire year before I tracked down a copy of this film on video.

This film has a great nutty charm that, if you're not careful, you may take too seriously. It involves a lonely girl who gets a letter saying she's won a vacation to the titular resort. All of the arrangements are laid out for her, down to a private plane to fly her there. Upon arriving, she meets the inhabitants of the Inn. There's an old couple, their semi-retarded grandson and two cute fellow guests. They're treated to three hearty squares a day and incredibly bizarre parties. The girls are encouraged to eat and eat, but they're not allowed to help serve the food or enter the always locked walk in cooler...

The film is a black comedy with a lot of style. It's extremely easy to see where the film is headed (I caught it in the first reel), but I don't think that's supposed to be an extremely clever plot twist, just a framework to let know-it-all horror fans revel in their superiority. Thing is, once the average horror film viewer thinks he/she knows what's coming, THAT'S when the rug is pulled out from under them. I could never quite guess exactly what was going to happen. The film alludes to things constantly while delivering plot points that don't turn out exactly as one may think they would.

The acting is great and the cast seems to be having a lot of fun in their roles, especially Linda Gillin, who nails her character fabulously as a lonely college girl eager to make friends and find romance.

The scenes to watch out for are the screamingly funny "shark" scene, the abduction of the character of Edwina, which uses a music box lullaby to an extremely creepy extent and the climax/punchline of the film, a denouement that, while totally implausible, is quite unexpected.

It's funny that no one talks about this film much considering how much "Motel Hell" has ripped it off. Worth finding and savoring.

Last note, take special attention to the end credits. They compliment the film to a "T"!