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Cyborg (1989)
Van Damnit, I'll never get that hour back
Spoiler alert: "Arrrggghhh" Is the main form of dialog in this movie and nobody can even do that well. Another reviewer stated that Van Damme sells fight scenes well, but I have to ask: How does he do that? By striking poses? Flexing? Making faces? Showing off his flexibility? The movements are so telegraphed and contrived a true martial artist or fighter has to laugh. And, what is with the ridiculous blue eyes and the sunglasses so dirty nobody would be able to see anything through them? I feel kind of silly listing specific things that fall short in this movie because I'll inevitably leave thousands of things out. In the end, after toughing this one out, I said arrrggghhh!
Pompeii (2014)
A collection of overdone effects. Save your time and avoid.
If the character development, plot, dialog and directing are good, you could still ruin a film by misusing the special effects. Too bad none of those things are good and the effects are still applied with the precision and subtlety of a crudely swung blunt object.
There are plenty of examples of gimmicky poorly applied effects in this movie but maybe the pinnacle is the chariot chase scene toward the end of the film. In this scene "the hero" is having everything including the kitchen sink thrown at him with absurd timing and yet, wow, he continues on. What a surprise.
I'm very fond of Kit Harrington as an actor and his performance is wasted in this lousy movie. I wonder how you can evaluate a movie before agreeing to be in it. I suppose it always taking a chance and you never quite know how it is going to turn out. But this could have been turned down simply because we didn't need another gladiator action movie nor another movie about Pompeii.
I don't mind a movie that isn't fine cinema as long as it doesn't take itself too seriously. I can easily be amused by good gags in a budget film, but there just aren't any to be found here. This movie wants badly to be serious but it's just seriously bad.
Where do these people come from who like it? There are so many better crafted movies out there. Enough to fill a lifetime. Why waste time on something like this? Slap hand on forehead and shake head in confused disbelief.
Flight of the Intruder (1991)
Would have been a 9 if they showed Rosanna Arquette one more time
That's it. Was waiting for the beach reunion with smoking 1991 Rosanna Arquette. Excuse me while I rewind a bit.
Life on the Line (2015)
I don't need to be a lineman to know this is a bad movie...
Everytime I turn on a light switch now, I'm going to picture John Travolta flying through the air on fire. If only electricity could be generated by eliminating awful hollywood efforts. If only they squeezed 10 more country songs in during the credits.
Walking Tall (2004)
Call the State Police?
So sloppy. We could have saved ourselves a bunch of trouble by just making a call.
Ghosts of Mars (2001)
A bunch of extras running around in left over halloween costumes.
If this movie didn't give us enough looks at Natasha Henstridge, I would give it 1 star, but we do get to look at her so it gets 2.
Sphere (1998)
Not only was there no gas in the tank, there was no engine in the car!
If all of the characters were such outstanding scholars, they should have realized that they were in a movie that wasn't going anywhere and got out. It seems as if it was slapped together in a rush to make a deadline. The edict from the producer: "Just make sure you have enough exciting images for deceptive trailer material." Why even bother putting this film out. If I was Michael Crichton, I would be appalled. Well, I might feel a little better with a wad of money in my pocket. Throw some money to a famous writer, a notable director and some world class actors and hope for the best. That is what was done here.
I usually feel bad for good actors when they get into something like this, but Dustin Hoffman was just getting on my nerves. If he said "Jerry?" in his pensive, nasally, attempt at a sophisticated analyst voice one more time I thought I would.......wait, I think that IS when I changed the channel to avoid complete disgust with myself for allowing "Spear(tiny one to the eyeball)" to come between me and a replay of the 1975 World's Strongest Man competition. His character was so worried about upsetting the sphere that when the sphere says: "don't call me Jerry," of course Hoffman just can't stop saying "Jerry?" "Jerry?" "Jerry?" "What do you want me to call you, Jerry?" Help!!!! Hey, I just thought of another name for the movie: "Jerry's Kids."
Thanks to all the others out there that cracked me up with their reviews. Keep it up!
Selena (1997)
We hope to approach in a lifetime what she exemplified in just 23 years.
Although I enjoy music a great deal, I must admit that prior to seeing the movie 'Selena', I knew almost nothing of her life or death. Allowing for Hollywood's tendency to exaggerate, the story told in this movie is exceptional. If I had to use one word to describe this movie it would be "inspirational."
I believe that deep inside we all want the same things for ourselves, but we often lose sight of what it is. Sometimes a person comes along who reminds us of the beauty of the human dream. Selena did that for so many.
Gregory Nava's film is simple yet effective. Like the character of Selena herself, there is no subplot or ulterior motives to figure out. Led by their passionate and loving father, the family's ability to find the best in everything takes them to the top. I was convinced by the sincerity of each actor. They did a great job.
I see no message in Selena's death. Some lives just last longer than others. And some lives touch us like no others.