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JAKick
Reviews
Orange County (2002)
New record.
This movie gave me the opportunity to set a new personal record, The Earliest I Have Ever Walked Out of A Movie. It was at the 44:29 mark in the movie. This was easily the worst movie I have ever seen. Just for reference I sat through "The Big Hit", "Street Fighter", every version of "No Retreat, No Surrender", every version of "American Kickboxer", every Jeff Speakman movie, and even "Best of the Best " in the theater. Why couldn't one of the good directors that had a cameo in this movie take over? Or re-write the script or re-cast it or better yet stop the movie all together? To think, something good or at least mediocre could have been made with the money put into this horrible film.
Planet of the Apes (2001)
Bad Bad Film
Actually horrible film, slow, boring, without focus, and probably the worst ending I have seen in years. The ending pushed it from bad film to horrible film. an absolute deus ex machina, since there was no ending in sight, then a badly made "suprise ending". The audience I saw it with about 40 minutes into the movie were just making jokes the rest of the time. This was a full audience on opening night that was excited to see it. Just pathetic. Right before the Deus Ex Machina happened , a person said " This better not be...(what it was)" and the crowd started just groaning in pain when it happened. TIm Burton needs to re-evaluate his ability to direct.
Jason.
Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (2001)
Only the animation saved from being a one
The animation in this film is amazing. There I covered the good. Now the bad, everything else. Plot was hackneyed. The musical score was almost comical in the fact that everything had dramatic stings. The actors did not seem to put any effort into trying to act the script. It sounded like someone taped the first reading of the script and that was it. The script was one of the worst I have heard. The funny scenes weren't funny, however the dramatic scenes were funny. The ending was pure cheese. I can not recommend this film to anyone except for the animation.
Traffic (2000)
Overrated
I found this to be an overrated film with more good parts than bad, but still not deserving of the praise that has been heaped upon it. I did not see it in the theater but I eagerly awaited it on DVD. I watched the film and found that I was guessing correctly not just the plot but actual lines of the film. Very cliched material. I felt the minor characters were the best part, but Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones were too formulaic. I do not feel this movie was nearly as good as I was led to believe. I give it a six.
The Matrix (1999)
Overrated and overhyped.
If you saw the previews, you saw the movie. I was not impressed at all by this film. It can't compare to Dark City which was a much better film. Keannu still can't act to save his life. The ending was lame. " True Love" bringing back Keannu from the dead? Pure Garbage. A serious waste of money in making this film.
The Matrix (1999)
Overrated and overhyped.
If you saw the previews, you saw the movie. I was not impressed at all by this film. It can't compare to Dark City which was a much better film. Keannu still can't act to save his life. The ending was lame. " True Love" bringing back Keannu from the dead? Pure Garbage. A serious waste of money in making this film.
El tesoro de las cuatro coronas (1983)
Four crowns, try two.
I remember seeing this movie when I was 11 with my brother, 14. That was in 1982 and we still make fun of it and use it to make jokes. I remember only two crowns and no real purpose to the
3-D. This was just a bad movie. Not even good for a " bad movie night." Just stay away from it. Save that time in your life for something important, like cleaning lint form your bellybutton.
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
Learn as little as possible.
Do yourself a favor and don't read any reviews or anything about this film. BUT SEE THE MOVIE. This is by far the best movie I have seen in a long time. It is also the most frightening movie I have ever seen. I will not give any plot info or any info about this film. See it and you will understand.
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)
I have seen better.
This movie is fast rising on my WORST movie of all time list. Every character in this film was bad. Fat Bastard was done so much better by Mike Meyers as the Dad in " So I Married an Axe Murderer" or even as the owner of If Its Not Scottish Its Crap on " SNL." Austin Powers (the character) was boring. He didn't have one funny line, or gesture. The only good character was Heather Graham as Felicity Shagwell. Great eye candy, but only good as an character. As for the humor, I didn't even crack a smile, let alone laugh. I almost walked out. I can not recommend this movie.