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John-Bob
Reviews
Soldier (1998)
Entertaining in an explody kind of way
Of course, by any normal standard of film criticism, Soldier is a very poor film indeed. Kurt Russell is a futuristic super soldier raised since birth to kill but then made obsolete after being bettered by a bunch of really super soldiers at a dangly hoop ruck that looks a bit like a Gladiators contest without the crash mats.
Abandoned on a junk planet, he's befriended by a community of naff space hippies that teach him about gardening, family life and, um, breasts. Kurt doesn't talk much. Finally the really super soldiers turn up and kill the hippies by shooting them in the back while they're running away. Kurt gets angry and kills everyone. A planet gets totalled. The end.
Unless the Academy start a new category for "Best Explosion", Soldier is not going to win any awards. However, as ludicrous as it is, it remains an enjoyable experience. The military hardware is the coolest since Aliens (the APC's especially) and, at 90 minutes long, it doesn't outstay its welcome. Please note that the below mark is only a guide. Knock five points off if you intend to take it seriously and discount one more if you don't like miniguns.
7 out of 10
Gojira tai Megaro (1973)
Terrible, yes, but in a good way.
'Zilla Vs. Megalon really is up there with Plan 9 From Outer Space: this is car crash cinema that you just can't take you're eyes off. Favorite moments include the lamest car chase in cinema history, the amazing non-explanation of Jet Jaguar "going large" and the staggering psychedelic abode where our heros live.
A very strange film.