Don't panic. I won't spoil the flick.
That would be cruel.
I just survived the new independent film, "The Blair Witch Project." If you haven't heard about this movie, and that is only possible if you have been living on a submarine for the last seven months, it focuses on three college film makers who, in the fall of 1995, trot off into the Maryland woods in search of the fabled "Blair Witch." Unfortunately, they never returned from their little jaunt in the forest. A group of anthropology students stumbles upon a duffel bag filled with their film canisters nearly a year after their disappearance.
The film is pieced together from their original footage by a film crew hired by the families of the three missing students. What results is a 120 minute spine chill. The chill originates when you realize that these three seemingly happy kids are going to come to their untimely demise at some point in the film. You have no clue how this is going to happen. You simply know that it IS going to happen. From there, the film, combined with your imagination, proceed to jar you repeatedly right up to the end credit. That is right. CREDIT. Exactly ONE credit. Less than they would have gotten for completing the film for their film class. That would probably be worth three credits.
Advice for when you see it. You will see it. I know. You won't be able to resist. You can feel it now. She is calling you. The Blair Witch. If you weren't working right now, you'd be at the cineplex. You might even be planning your own escapade with the kids into the woods for a nice family weekend. Don't. Don't do it. She's out there. I know it. Logically, I know that the film was shot in Maryland. I know that I live in Arizona. That just doesn't matter. She's out there. Oh... I was going to give some advice. Unless you are an avid operator of a small hand held video camera, and you walk around with this camera glued to your right eye 24 hours each day, you will feel ill as the camera jumps and hops around in the hands of these young film makers. Do you remember that feeling that you get when you are leaned back in a chair and you lean back just a hair too far? Do you remember the disorienting sensation of having to promptly right yourself lest you land on the floor? Good. Now magnify that feeling times 120 minutes. Take Dramamine. I nicknamed the camera in the hands of the girl (Heather) the "Dram-a-cam." I started to thank God every time she would steady the camera for more than two seconds. Don't eat a heavy meal before seeing this film, either.
Now, some advice for the parents out there. This film is rated R and then some. Not because of any real violence. In fact, the R is probably only for the kid's frequent use of the "f" word. Even that isn't so bad, really. I think that this film received its "R" for the fact that the rating panel was too shaken to write the letters "PG-13." They said, "To heck with this. It ain't a G so I'm picking the only other one-letter rating and then I'm going home to hide under my bed." This flick will give YOU nightmares. Don't even think of letting the cherished fruit of your union see this one. This is what you were put on this earth to protect them from.
Don't get me wrong. You NEED to see this film. And trust me. There is nothing in the film that is worse than your own imagination.
Fear the dark.
-Clint Potts, Chandler, AZ
That would be cruel.
I just survived the new independent film, "The Blair Witch Project." If you haven't heard about this movie, and that is only possible if you have been living on a submarine for the last seven months, it focuses on three college film makers who, in the fall of 1995, trot off into the Maryland woods in search of the fabled "Blair Witch." Unfortunately, they never returned from their little jaunt in the forest. A group of anthropology students stumbles upon a duffel bag filled with their film canisters nearly a year after their disappearance.
The film is pieced together from their original footage by a film crew hired by the families of the three missing students. What results is a 120 minute spine chill. The chill originates when you realize that these three seemingly happy kids are going to come to their untimely demise at some point in the film. You have no clue how this is going to happen. You simply know that it IS going to happen. From there, the film, combined with your imagination, proceed to jar you repeatedly right up to the end credit. That is right. CREDIT. Exactly ONE credit. Less than they would have gotten for completing the film for their film class. That would probably be worth three credits.
Advice for when you see it. You will see it. I know. You won't be able to resist. You can feel it now. She is calling you. The Blair Witch. If you weren't working right now, you'd be at the cineplex. You might even be planning your own escapade with the kids into the woods for a nice family weekend. Don't. Don't do it. She's out there. I know it. Logically, I know that the film was shot in Maryland. I know that I live in Arizona. That just doesn't matter. She's out there. Oh... I was going to give some advice. Unless you are an avid operator of a small hand held video camera, and you walk around with this camera glued to your right eye 24 hours each day, you will feel ill as the camera jumps and hops around in the hands of these young film makers. Do you remember that feeling that you get when you are leaned back in a chair and you lean back just a hair too far? Do you remember the disorienting sensation of having to promptly right yourself lest you land on the floor? Good. Now magnify that feeling times 120 minutes. Take Dramamine. I nicknamed the camera in the hands of the girl (Heather) the "Dram-a-cam." I started to thank God every time she would steady the camera for more than two seconds. Don't eat a heavy meal before seeing this film, either.
Now, some advice for the parents out there. This film is rated R and then some. Not because of any real violence. In fact, the R is probably only for the kid's frequent use of the "f" word. Even that isn't so bad, really. I think that this film received its "R" for the fact that the rating panel was too shaken to write the letters "PG-13." They said, "To heck with this. It ain't a G so I'm picking the only other one-letter rating and then I'm going home to hide under my bed." This flick will give YOU nightmares. Don't even think of letting the cherished fruit of your union see this one. This is what you were put on this earth to protect them from.
Don't get me wrong. You NEED to see this film. And trust me. There is nothing in the film that is worse than your own imagination.
Fear the dark.
-Clint Potts, Chandler, AZ
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