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Reviews
Lo squartatore di New York (1982)
tits 'n blood
Ah, what can I say. I have seen quite some Italian schlock movies. Yet nothing comes quite close to this abomination. It can be summed up fairly easy: female character, must show tits, must slash tits. No, literally, must slash tits. "We Have done a lab-test on the blood." "What was the result?" "The killer was born in NY, lived there all his life, is 38 years old and has never left NY" Thats how bad it is. If you insist on seeing sleazoid Fulci, see 'The Smuggler', for all it's reputation, steer clear of this piece of s***e.
Schizoid (1980)
Schizoid? You would be after this one.
While watching this one, I kept thinking about that anecdote Claudia Cardinale recalls in Herzog's documentary about Kinski. They were doing a love-scene together (she claims he was nice, humble and respectful towards her) and all of the sudden, Herzog brought in an ocelot. Kinski freaked out, as good as slaughtered the poor animal (endangered species!!!), and refused to work again for the whole day. "He was such a nice man", she then goes on. And I'm sure his daughter has similar tales of warmth and paternal joy to tell. What's the point I'm getting to, It's clear what Kinski is doing in this film: his character is allowed to gratuitously bonk every single women in the film, even ogle his own naked daughter and beat up a few others. It must have been a relief for such an intense person to not have to act. And still he is able to sleepwalk through this lame excuse for a slasher movie.
It isn't even funny (except for that bathtub-scene, where the director must have suddenly realized he was going to miss out on a screaming face unless he came up with something -you'll never believe that one-). I watched it in fast-forward, and those were a long fifteen minutes. Avoid if you can, sleep through it if you must.
The Intruder (1962)
Damn, it's a good movie!!!!!!!!!
Written and directed by Roger Corman, starring William Shatner (before he became Kirk), and a warning from the video store-owner that the copy's not all that. (Now stop reading and imagine for yourself what kind of movie you would expect.)
Ah, sometimes it can be so pleasant to not get what you want. Hoping to see an even lower-budget 'Kingdom of the Spiders'-extravaganza, I got a daring, outspoken and harsh social movie about racial segregation in the South. not to mention a surprisingly fine turn from Shatner. (Why, oh, why did he ever play Kirk? He could have done so much better, judging from this.) If you can find this (it's a pretty rare movie), see it. It's a definite must.
Quella villa accanto al cimitero (1981)
Look, mum, it's a tiny little plot, and it's dying...
How come we still hear little Bobby whimpering when the boy-actors mouth is screaming or shut tight? How come McColl discovers a grave in her hallway, which her husband then goes looking for in the local cemetery. To be -eerily, no really- told that person isn't buried there. How come everybody is referring to the lady from the real-estate office dropping by later, only to forget about the hapless woman once she has been dispatched. Why does Fulci go out of his way to implicate Ann the babysitter, only to forget about her later on (yes, he does pull this one twice in the same movie - amazing, not?). And do uncanny amounts of dried blood really look that much as if someone had spilled some coffee (never mind that the other person doesn't even bother to notice that the coffee is cold!).
Worst of all, Fulci gives us lengthy (and nicely edited) close-ups of eyes, promising us the most. But no, not a single eye gets ripped out, torn apart or mutilated in any other way (why does Fulci think I watch his films).
Well, what's left to discuss? McColl is a decent scream-queen (though she was undoubtedly better in l'Aldilà). There are some deft touches in the camera-work. the basic plot-line is pretty good (mind the holes in it, though) and ... before I forget, what the f*** is that quotation from the Turn of the Screw doing at the end of the movie?
Sorry, a right royal 5.
Gli orrori del castello di Norimberga (1972)
Oops, just wasted the budget on color film-stock.
So it's got a lot more color than an average film (Elke Sommers goes thru a costume-change for almost every single scene), and you might be interested to find out(as I was) what Joseph Cotton did in the latter half of his career (well, he's definitely more animated than the numerous corpses in the movie), and you might believe that Bava was a great director (he was, indeed). But nothing could be an excuse for this mess. Making 'Halloween: Season of the Witch' look like a triumph in plot-coherence (does that word apply when there is no plot?), this movie relentlessly drags itself -and the viewer along- from cliche to cliche to reach a climax even Argento wouldn't have dared to film. Add to this the most ludicrous chase-scene in any movie (Sommers hurtling herself thru the same three sets over and over again, really convincing...) and you have yourself a right royal corker! 3/10 (you know, it's still Bava)
The Ghoul (1933)
The Hicksville Players meet the Mummy
The print I saw was a copy of an old nitrate. I.e.: more black than white, and at times almost impossible to see what was going on. Cue laughter and corny remarks. From what I could figure this must have been one of the more beautifully designed B-movies from the 30's. Shame then that the whole cast besides Karloff is such a sham (this contains some of the hokiest acting I have seen in ages, history is no excuse here). They can't even pronounce sheik (remember that disco-song? Yep, it's chique!), and always seem to think they're already outside the shot when they're not (those facial expressions alone are worth the rental-price) Karloff is great, the rest is crap, or too damaged to be fully appreciated.
Holy Smoke (1999)
No, really, it's great
Why is it every time I go see a Jane Campion-movie I walk out admiring it's structure, irony, great acting and so on. And then find out the rest of the world seems to have the exact opposite idea. Kate Winslet gives a truly great performance as Ruth, throwing herself into what must be a horror show for any actress. Campion even elicits a great performance (albeit in a cameo-appearance) from Grier, not exactly known for subtlety. Structural elements abound in what is a trademark Campion-story (young woman fighting for the right to simply be): Ruth's world is strictly serious, though she herself walks thru it with lightness and deftness; her family's borders on slapstick while they walk around sulking, moping, committing adultery and generally being unhappy. Certain shots seems to point towards an evolution (in story or characters): all 4 of the elements are used twice, once as a pos., once as a neg. symbol. And so on.... In short: marvelous movie (and that's a compliment for all involved). I loved it, and it scores a straight 10 in my book.
Medea (1969)
The other Callas
It's a shame that this movie will most likely attract an audience that looks it up for the novelty-value of seeing La Divina Callas 'play' at movie-actress. I would almost wish she never got famous so that people could get bowled over by what must be one of the best unsung performances ever in movie-history (rather than a new trick for an old pony). Just as in the theater, every single gesture, every word is carefully measured for all its worth before being made or spoken. She seems to create the role as the movie proceeds, diverting attention away from the sometimes painfully low production values and the hesitant acting of the first-timers. Add to this one of Pasolini's most assuredly directed films, and stunning scenery (the locations indicated by the original play), and it seems as though you had never even heard about the play (let alone seen or read it). That's how fresh this movie comes across a couple of decades later.
Get over that fear of foreign language and subtitles and enjoy!!