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Dashwood95
Reviews
Automaton Transfusion (2006)
I can't believe any of you liked this crap...
First off, why the heck can't I rate ZERO or less stars.
They ought to have a rating for "Made my eyes and ears bleed" because for that I'd give it top honors.
And WTF with the "ending" (And I use that term loosely)? For the love of all that is good and right, please do NOT see this movie. .... That is of course unless you have a crazy good sarcastic wit and intend to make fun of it mercilessly the entire them then send me a message with all the good jokes. Then maybe I'd feel better about another person suffering through this pile of you know what.
I'd sit here and remark on all that is wrong with it, but MOST of you have already so wondrously done that for me.
Those of you that think this is a "good" (choke) movie I strongly urge you to check yourself in for psychiatric care. Then insist on being given the chance to watch a better film such as The original Dawn/Day/Night of the Living Dead.
I swear I think this movie might have turned me off to horror films....At least for a while. It was so foul. So foul.
Dellamorte dellamore (1994)
2 hours you'll never get back
You know I'd like to say this movie was good, but the fact is it was not. It wasn't the worst movie I'd ever seen, and simply because the middle of it was enjoyable enough I give it a 5. The last 30-40 minutes of the movie (give or take since I don't want to give spoilers) was utter garbage.
I know a movie is often supposed to leave you guessing, but this one just left me scratching my head and asking myself why I bothered...or why the director/writer bothered. What a bizarrely stupid ending. I think that's in fact what really ruined it for me. The ending not only made no sense no matter how you try to complicate it with symbolism, but it was stupid. Utterly and completely stupid.
If you can get past an artsy fartsy beginning (not the first 10minutes..about 15-25minutes in I'd guess) and get over the lame ending, this movie has a few good laughs.
But really. If I could go back I'd wipe this movie from my memory banks.
Go see Nuevo Cinema Paradiso instead. Much better indie film though it has nothing to do with vampires.
Ocean's Twelve (2004)
This movie is awful!
Just got back from this movie and found it boring, predictable, and a waste of my time and money. It's pretty bad when the previews were more enjoyable than the movie, and if I could find some way to get my money back I would. It was pointless, and the few moments that would have been decent were set in flashbacks at the end of the movie. I implore you, do NOT waste your time.
And to make matters worse, IMDb requires 10 lines of text on how awful this movie was. Shall I just repeat myself again. It is terrible, boring, predictable, ridiculous, and not worth your time. Heck, having to read my review twice isn't really worth your time, but if you have a sense of humor at least the idiocy of this whole thing might amuse you.
The Green Mile (1999)
An intriguing bit of movie magic.
I never read Stephen King until someone sent me the Green Mile in paperback version. While there are slight discrepancies in every adaptation from book to film, The Green Mile (movie) stays true to the original warmth, beauty, and brilliance of the book. I have, of course, seen other works of Stephen King, notably The Stand. He is a talented writer with a knack for bringing any story to life in vibrant, vivid color.
Tom Hanks is perfect as Paul, and Coffey was cast superbly. Anyone who wants to see a great movie needs to see The Green Mile. You won't be sorry.
Where the Heart Is (2000)
Engaging and heart-warming.
For the first time in a long time, I actually saw a movie that I felt compelled to tell fellow movie lovers about. This movie was labeled a comedy, but it was much more. It was a drama that as it unfolded before your eyes you were captivated by the characters. I wanted to sit down and watch it again right away. It wasn't predictable like 99% of movies today, and it wasn't cheap dialogue filled with sex and violence. All movie lovers need to see this movie. Whether you love it or hate it, it will make you think.