beautiful_suburban_midnight's Reviews

Adult Entertainment: Disrobing an American Idol (2007 Video)

3/10

18 November 2009

Though it started out as an interesting documentary, it fast became a "DON'T LOOK AT PORN" and "THIS IS BAD." and there were so many different routes that the filmmaker could have gone down but ignored.

For example, as much as he spoke about women's degradation and spoke to women who viewed porn as evil and disgusting, he failed to speak to women who enjoy porn. Not to mention the entire homosexual population. The only mention that gays got at all was a bookshop owner talking about buttplugs, and a few mentions here and there when talking about porn scenes.

It could've been so much more, but ended up feeling like a 50's propaganda piece.

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Fat Albert (2004)

1/10

Dreadful

29 March 2005

I've seen a lot of bad movies lately (Catwoman, Raising Helen, The Forgotten, The Grudge, Troy to name a few), but this one takes the cake.

A few times during the film, I felt like yelling "All right. He's fat. I get it." And the "villians" were so laughable, they were pathetic. Even Bill Cosby, who hasn't done anything relevant in years was trotted out for a useless cameo role. How many kids even know who Fat Albert is?

It felt really dragged out and the entire movie was contrived and horrid. I would suggest this for someone age two and under. Any older, and it's an insult to your intelligence. Looking for a good movie for the family? Try The Incredibles or Finding Neverland, but stay away from this pandering piece of road apple.

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Taxi (I) (2004)

1/10

Abysmal.

17 February 2005

I didn't go into this movie with high expectations, and they were pretty much met. After being really pleased with Queen Latifah's performance in Chicago, I was really disappointed with 'Bringing Down the House'.

This movie was just the same regurgitated claptrap as the aforementioned BDtH. Sassy black woman shows uptight white loser how to live. The plot was laughable, to say the least. I chuckled once in this movie, and that's it.

I got this as a free rental, and even then, I felt ripped off.

2/10, and I'm being generous.

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Bringing Down the House (2003)

1/10

Blegh!

15 November 2004

I've been a fan of Eugene Levy since I was a kid and used to watch SCTV almost every day. I thought Queen Latifah was good in Chicago, and Steve Martin's done some pretty funny stuff.

So tell me why a movie with all three people in it sucked so bad? I was so bored through this movie that I grabbed a book part way through. It's amazing how many people think this movie was hilarious - I barely cracked a smile.

I work at a movie store, and rented this for free, and still felt like it was a waste of money.

I give it half a point out of 10.

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Ed's Big Wham Bam (2000–2003)

It was bound to happen eventually.

26 September 2002

Ed the sock has been a MuchMusic fixture for as long as one can remember. He's outlasted Sook-Yin, Master T, Rachel, Bill, and the names of ex-VJ's go on and on. This grouchy, disagreeable sock who would certainly give Oscar the Grouch a run for his money, has finally gotten his own TV show, and I'll take a page from the sock-man's book when I say: "About time!"

Every minute is entertaining, from the rants, and the "Smash or Trash" portion of the show, where ordinary (though not always intelligent) people share their opinion of newly released videos from Backstreet Boys, to Matthew Good Band, to Weezer, and then deem it either a 'Smash' or 'Trash'.

Though he may be rude, crude, brutally honest, and unapologetic, there's one factor that remains - He's hilarious. And I can't wait for Fromage 2002!

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Greg the Bunny (2002–2004)

Hilarious!

4 April 2002

Definately not one to miss! I love Seth Green, and he's great in this. I was laughing within the first minute of what I saw, and Greg's snowball song was great.

This is one to keep, Fox.

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Queer as Folk (2000–2005)

Totally and Utterly Addictive

6 November 2001

Warning: Spoilers

I was flipping through the channels late Monday night and what to my wondering eyes should appear but two extremely good looking men making out. Of course, I stopped and it wasn't until about fifteen minutes into it that I realized it was Queer as Folk. I watched a couple of the British episodes and I must say I like this series a bit better (partially because it's easier to understand without the accents)

The show revolves around five central characters. Mikey, an utterly adorable man who seems to be a little quiet; Emmett, a somewhat flaming (and damned proud of it) guy who's extremely protective of his friends;Brian, the good looking guy all of us love to hate; Justin, the naiive new kid on the block; and Ted, the self-loathing accountant.

The plots are all extremely well done (I've cried a couple times) and the acting is incredible...not to mention that Brian and Justin are just so cute together..

As for the season finale cliffhanger? I don't want to wait until Spring next year..The episode was great (spoilers ahead!) Brian turns 30.. Justin goes to his prom with Daphne.. Mike finally decides to move to Portland with Dr. David, Ted finds meth in Blake's pants and confronts him, Blake checks into rehab, only to check himself out the same day, leaving Ted in agony.. Brian shows up at Justin's prom and they dance in what I can only say will put any other dance to shame.. Justin gets hit in the head with a baseball bat and the last shot we see of him is a blood-soaked white silk scarf that Brian clutches as he goes into the hospital.. and Brian -cries-.. My predictions? Mike will stay until Justin recovers, I think.. he wouldn't leave his mom completely alone like that. Blake's gone for a few episodes at least and Ted will sink into depression until Emmett slaps some sense into him. Justin will recover slowly, maybe with amnesia, and Brian will either do the right thing and stay with him or be a jerk and leave...'cause it's so obvious that he loves Justin. Anyway, check out Queer as Folk, it's one of the best shows on TV!

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K-PAX (2001)

10/10

Wonderful

29 October 2001

I started to take an interest in Kevin Spacey because of his unbelievable preformance in "American Beauty", and his preformance in K-PAX has sealed his spot in my top five favorite actors. The movie's twists and turns held me to my seat and I started crying during the last half-hour.

If you're tired of glossy, overbudget, heartless pictures, then definately go to see K-PAX. 10/10.

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Improv Heaven & Hell (1999– )

The Devil's Advocates

14 October 2001

Consider this show as a sort of "Whose Line is it Anyway?" on Canadian TV, and instead of Clive Anderson or Drew Carey, you get the two Devil's Advocates, complete with little red horns.

There are four improvers who follow the D.A's wishes, or the audiences' requests, and the results are usually hilarious. Perhaps a little more targeted at mature audiences since it's not on ABC, but still enjoyable.

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Corky Romano (2001)

Not bad..but not great either..

12 October 2001

As much as I love Chris Kattan on SNL, this felt suspiciously like an SNL skit drawn out too long. (ie: "The Ladies Man", "Night at the Roxbury"). There were some laughs in it, but don't hold your breath to hear them announce "And the Oscar goes to... Corky Romano!"

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Don't Say a Word (2001)

Better than expected

1 October 2001

As with "The Sixth Sense", I was dragged to this movie against my will, having complained that I would rather go see a light-hearted movie like "Zoolander". Also with "Sixth Sense", I wasn't disappointed at this movie at all.

The basic plot of the movie is that a psychologist's daughter is kidnapped and to get her back, he has to break through a catatonic woman's mind to find out the location of a diamond, and that's all I'm going to say about that.

It's a good movie, one of the only ones I've enjoyed Michael Douglas in, and if you're looking for a good thriller-type, definately check this out.

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What's with Andy? (2001–2007)

Entertaining little cartoon

23 September 2001

Yeah, I was forced to watch it, but that's besides the point. "What's With Andy?" is about a teenaged prankster named Andy Larkin and his..exploits. The episode I saw was where he faked his own death to get out of being in the dunk-tank and I couldn't help but laugh. It reminded me of some teenage guys I know, and is worth a second watch.

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The Gavin Crawford Show (2000–2003)

Post-"K.I.T.H" Humor

9 September 2001

This is much like another humor show, "Kids in the Hall", including the main person dressing up in drag. The only problem is that whenever I start to watch it, I always end up watching the same episode. It's absolutely hilarious though, and Gavin is utterly delicious.

I think the best scene was the lipstick wearing manly man, or maybe it was the whoopee cushion in the cafe and the waitress gave him the evil eye, but I suppose it's up to you.

There's some absolutely hilarious characters there but I think Gavin playing himself is the funniest one.

This was a very funny and inventive show that took gay humor to another level. It will be missed.

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The Audrey Hepburn Story (2000 TV Movie)

........Ugh.

27 August 2001

I became a fan of Audrey Hepburn recently, after renting "Breakfast at Tiffany's" (one of my favorite movies), "My Fair Lady", and "Roman Holiday". When I read in Entertainment Weekly that Jennifer Love Hewitt was going to be playing Audrey Hepburn I nearly ripped the page out of the magazine and burned it..

Eric McCormack was one of the only good points in this movie, otherwise it was absolutely horrid.. It doesn't do Audrey Hepburn justice at all.

Audrey was one of the most beautiful movie stars that ever lived.. J.L.H is a semi-talented actress who relies on her not-so-bad looks to support her (fifteen minute) singing career and (fifteen and a half minutes too long) acting career...

Better luck next time.

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CardCaptors (I) (2000–2003)

*sob* Why!?

21 August 2001

I'm a huge fan of CardCaptor Sakura (the manga) and when I was flipping through the channels and saw Yukito Tsukishiro (one of the most wonderful bishounen..), I thought "YAY!"...then I watched the rest of the episode and needed a box of kleenex.. It was just as bad as Sailor Moon.. (the new dubbed Sailor moon.. that's just...wrong). I just want to know how they could get "Julien Star" from "Yukito Tsukishiro" and "Tori" from "Touya"!? They changed way too much in this, from people's relationships in the series to names to bad voice dubbing to personalities.. *sigh* If they do this to Slayers like they say they will.. and change names in the series...and change the dub actors.. They'll answer to me..

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The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999)

10/10

One of the best movies of '99..

15 August 2001

I went to see this movie after I heard that my friend said it was "horrible", and that basically means it'll be a good movie (9 times out of ten, my theory is correct). I thought it was extremely good then, and when i rented it recently, the scene where Ripley holds Dickie in his arms, sobbing in the boat, blood around them.. it sent a chill down my spine, literally.

Matt Damon does a wonderful job in this, and as much as I hate Gwyneth Paltrow, I liked the other acting jobs in this as well. It definately deserved more oscars, but when it was up against "American Beauty", well..that's like being up against "Titanic".. 10/10

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Sorcerer Hunters (1995–1996)

Absolutely Hilarious!

15 August 2001

On Spooner Continent, the sorcerers rule over everyone else and it's up to the Sorcerer Hunters (Carrot Glace, 17; Chocolat Misu, 17; Marron Glace, 16;Tira Misu, 16; and Gateau Mocha, 19-20) to stop them.

Carrot is a huge pervert who changes into a beast as he's hit with any kind of magic, Chocolat is in love with him, and so's Tira. When Carrot goes all beastly, whipping him is the only way they get him back. Marron is Carrot's slightly effeminate younger brother who is extremely protective of Carrot, and Gateau's the muscles of the group, and he has a crush on Marron. (Who doesnt?!)

The series is in two parts, Sorcerer Hunters and "Spell Wars", and what I've seen, it's a wicked, wicked show with lots of fluff. ^_^ I've never laughed so hard in an anime other than Slayers and Trigun. There's lots of comedy, some romance, action, lots of stuff. Great characters, although they could've chosen better voice actors for the dub in some cases.. and in some parts, the series isn't as good as the manga (comic book), but all around, it's a great anime to start off on!

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The Slayers (1995–2009)

One of the best anime series..ever!

15 August 2001

I was actually -forced- to watch Slayers at first, but I fell in love with it and have rented the entire series at least four times. I've memorized most of it and have even dedicated a website to it. Zelgadiss is one of my favorite all-time anime characters, and I love Crispan Freeman's voice. The sub are okay, but I love the dubbed versions, Eric Stuart is perfect for Gourry, I think.. If you do get the dubbed versions, watch out.. Ameria/Amelia's dubbed voice at first is horribly, terribly, nails-on-the-chalkboard annoying....

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Our Hero (2000–2002)

Best Series on CBC!

17 July 2001

"Our Hero" centers on Kale, a young Ontario teenage girl and her 'zine. Each episode is a different issue of her 'zine. It mentions everything, from her lazy, perhaps not all there brother Ethan (who's classic moment was making jokes about 'retards' at a benefit for the Mental Health Association), her best friend Mary-E (Mary Elizabeth), a catholic girl who's mind sometimes strays from her faith and Ross, who, for most of the first season is sexually confused. There's also mentions of "Perfectly" Frank, a guy Kale has a huge crush on (He's also on "Student Bodies" and "Drop the Beat", very good looking.)

There are some serious moments in the series, but it's absolutely hilarious. For example, Mary-E goes to explain to Ross' immigrant grandparents that Ross went to meet a guy and perhaps have sex with him, the grandfather looked at her and said "No! Married!" and they proceeded to shoo her out, shouting.

In one episode, Ross writes a list of guys in the school who might be gay, and when the list gets out in the open, he locks himself in the drama costume closet (ironic, ne?) and ends up relieving himself into a set of bagpipes.

There are also some lessons to be learned through Kale's eyes, although most of them seem to be "don't judge someone until you walk a mile in their shoes". (She learns this about her unfriendly co-worker, Ross, and to an extent, Perfectly Frank)

Unless you live in Canada, though, I don't think you can get this, and if you can't, you're really missing out. This is one of the funniest series I've ever seen, and definately the best I've seen on CBC.

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Internet Slutts (2000– )

Best Show on Saturday Night!

14 July 2001

I wandered across this show after The Tom Green Show (on the Comedy Network, Yay Canada!) and almost choked on my drink laughing. It's about Murk, a deformed looking bike courier and Wally...a three foot tall talking penis.

Depending on the theme on each show (the Fetish episode was hilarious), Wally and Murk search sites on the internet, and there's everything, from build your own cow to a balloon fetish. The scenes where they aren't on the net are hilarious, Wally's quite suave and polite for a talking penis.

Since I don't have cable right now, I don't know if it's still on...but they can't cancel it, it's one of the best shows they've got there. A helluva lot better than Tom Green. If you can, check it out

Hugs, Kisses, & Naughty L'il Wishes! ~M

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Drop Dead Gorgeous (1999)

8/10

Very, Very Good Movie

11 July 2001

I basically chose this in the video store because it was that or let my brother rent another "South Park" video. I like Kirsten Dunst, and I thought "Ah, what the hell", I heard it was "bad" from my friends, and considering they said the same thing about 'American Beauty', I thought it would be terrific.

There were a bunch of great lines in the movie and, yes, the accents got on my nerves, but hell, who didn't get annoyed by the accents in 'Fargo' or by Susan's in 'Survivor I'. Allison Janney was terrific in the film, I thought she was great, as well as Dunst. The documentary crew was hilarious, I almost choked on my drink when the doc. crew was slapping palms with the 'COPS' crew.

A bunch of people seem to hate this movie with a vengence, and to them I say "Get a life... and a sense of humor". It wasn't meant to be serious, it was meant to make you laugh. Congratulations to the writers, this is one of the funniest movies I've seen this year.

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Idle Hands (1999)

7/10

Somewhat lame, but hilarious!!

17 July 2000

I originally rented this movie because I have a huge crush on Seth Green (Mick). I laughed so hard I almost threw up. I admit, it's sort of lame, but if you aren't looking for a really serious movie, check this one out.

In other words, don't rent this movie expecting something like Saving Private Ryan or American Beauty. Rent it if you like to laugh. (By the way, I now own the movie..hey, it was cheaper than renting it so many times.)

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