Reviews

I think this movie was unfairly rated so low.

I can imagine, how people playing the game do not like this movie, just like most book readers do not like the movie version of their favorite books.

I never played the game and I also watched this movie when I was 54 years old and to be honest, I loved every second of it.

I loved all the small details, like the Dr. Mengele's First Aid Station sign and the popping sound when Uncle Dave lifts the head of the blonde girl from his crotch and all the sick jokes about 9/11 and all the racial jokes and all the other jokes too.

I think, this movie is actually a masterpiece of social critic and it's even more relevant in 2023.

You can hate Uwe Boll for being Uwe Boll or whatever reason you have, but this movie is borderline genius.

As others say, this movie has no story. And they are right.

I still don't know what John Voight's role was, or that other guy's with him.

I still don't know who the blond guy was at the end and why he was hiding behind Colin Farrell's mask.

This movie was nothing else, than a visual effects demo for the company who made them.

I actually fell asleep and had to re watch the last third of the movie after I woke up.

It was very well made for what it is and the acting was good, but that still doesn't make it a good movie.

Very slow paced, trying too hard to be deep and dramatic.

I enjoyed the movie, but I don't think it's that good as everybody tries to make it.

My reference for deep and meaningful sci-fi story telling is Contact with Jodie Foster. That movie has so many layers and so many things to say and so many characters to transport the messages (because Contact has many), while this one has one simple message, which is milked to death already: work together for a better life and future instead of fighting each other.

And that message is brought to you on a lower grade school class level. What I mean? The world is divided into 12 parts and every part gets some data, which they have to share with each other and put together to get the result that probably will save humanity(?).

Just like when the teacher splits the class into groups for a school project and every group has to solve a partial task and put together their results to get the answer.

This movie is just like Interstellar. A pseudo intellectual movie for half informed book-smart people, so they feel themselves good for understanding and enjoying it while their "dumb" friends complain about it.

I don't even start on things, like "how exactly would learning a language change how you experience time" and "why does everybody act like they would carry the problems of the world on their shoulders, when they have absolutely no reason to do so from their point of view"or "how doesn't she remember in the future what she said in the past to arrive in that future until another person in the future tells her what to say in the past to get into that future".

Was the production a low budget? Yes! Were the special effects terrible? Yes! Are the dialogs sometimes pretty bad? Yes! Are the actors pretty bad? Yes, some of them are, the others are just not really good.

Surprisingly I still enjoyed this movie very much. The story was interesting for me as I am a sucker of time travel stories and the twist at the end was surprising. Of course there are a twist at the end! What did you expect?

Anyway, even if the movie was a B-Movie, it was one of the better ones.

It's better than Sharknado and the like for sure and if you like time travel stories, like me, you will love this.

And before somebody accuses me to be related to the movie somehow: I am not. I just watched it on the net for free. I don't even know, if this was in the cinema or if it went directly to DVD/VOD and I also don't care, because I wouldn't have paid for this anyway, but I would recommend anybody to watch it on TV.

In advance I have to tell that I am a conservative fan, who saw the original movies (New Hope, Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi) in theaters in the 70's and the 80's.

I didn't read any Extended Universe books, because I never accepted them as Canon.

I hated EPISODE I-III and never accepted them as Star Wars movies.

Now I saw this one and my opinion is as follows, writing the negatives first:

First of all I have nothing against Fan Service, like showing the chess table, making a new cantina scene etc., but I don't like if the creators think that I'm stupid and they just recreate "A New Hope" with new actors, where Luke is now a young girl and Darth Vader is a young guy learning how to be a bad guy and they hope that I won't recognize that they were just lazy to invent a new story.

My second problem is the lack of dramaturgy. There is no story arch. It's just a rush from one action scene to the next action scene. In between some very very bad dialogs. There is no right pacing at all. There is no suspension followed by relaxing. There is a scene at the end of the movie, when the "Death Star" exploded and the "Rebels" came back to the base, the music is just tense and everybody is running around. Why? Then suddenly there is a moment between two characters where the music suddenly changes to the well known Star Wars tune (Luke watching the sunset on Tatooine) and then hectic again.

Apropos music: It is bad! I am not a musical guy and I never recognize music in a movie (which actually should be that way if the score is good), but in this movie the music never fits the scene. It's always present. It never just sets the mood, but it is overtuning the images and you almost can't see what'S happening, because the music covers up the visuals and you concentrate on the music, how displaced it is.

Dialogues are bad! When Han meets the bad boy, I thought I stab my self with my drinking straw. When Han and Leia start to explain Each other, what they experienced TOGETHER after Return of the Jedi, that's just bad writing. Ask any script writing teacher. I think that'S lesson #1 on how not to write a script.

Illogical things "en masse", which I don't even want to explain in detail.

And so on.

Now the positives:

This movie is 100 times better than EPISODE I-III all together. It has almost the right Star Wars mood. It was nice to see practical effects and real sets again. The visuals are A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.! The costumes and armors, ships and other props are so cool! It screams Star Wars. Acting was pretty good. Humor is exactly the right amount.

So I gave it a 7. I hope the next movie won't be the remake of the Empire Strikes Back movie.

Las Vegas would have given such a beautiful background for drama, but they missed it.

Either Statham is unable to play a deep character or it was just a bad script, I don't know.

The story of a tough guy with identity issues would have been a great opportunity to create something unique, but it was just dull.

The story was really bad and undeveloped. If Statham needed 5 years for this to develop, like it says in the Trivia, then maybe he should stop developing his own movies.

The Guy who comes to him to learn is unbelievable and that story arc was closed in a laughable simple way. It felt if they were looking at their watch and say "Hey guys, time's up, we need to finish, because we are in the 85th minute, so make it quick!".

The movie had no ups and downs, it was the same steadily boring nothing disrupted by cool fight scenes every now and then. There was no catharsis at the end. Even the end fight looked like one of the fights in the middle and I didn't feel that it comes to an end.

All in all, way below average.

I am not a fan of comic movies in general, but I always like good action movies and good origin stories of heroes.

A friend of mine wanted to see this movie and I went along, because I have seen the previous movies, which were not so bad. I liked most of the Captain America movies and some of the Iron Man movies.

This movie is a nice CGI orgy, but nothing more.

The story is confusing, because there is no story at all.

They try to use all the characters somehow, but they fail to make real story lines for them and because there are too many characters, nobody can go real deep.

They even bring two new characters into the movie, if there were not enough yet.

I never really liked the Avengers movies, because it's too much of everything and this one was the worse of it until now.

Too many robots, to many characters, too many story lines. Everything is thrown in randomly and taken from thin air.

Sometimes I was wondering, which scene was cut out to make it "shorter".

Dialogues are either "funny" (never laughed, maybe I got a tired smile) or try to be deep and dramatic, but get only dumb and meaningless blah-blah.

I don't know who is writing these scripts nowadays for these kind of movies, but they should choose another profession. Maybe in a salt mine or so...

Rated 5 for superheroes and amazing Special Effects.

I was waiting for this show and I liked the beginning and I wanted to like it, but I can't.

Phil is an infantil a-hole and there is nothing else. No man would behave this way in such a situation.

The other characters are either annoying or simply just boring.

Nothing happens.

Nothing is funny.

Not to mention, that the title became obsolete with the second or third episode.

Although I am not the kind of guy that wants scientific details within the first episode, but it would be nice to learn about the virus and such. Not much, but a little bit.

But OK, I don't need to see the breakout and don't need an explanation, but then at least they should do something about their current situation.

Or at least I want to see the other characters' past in flashbacks, so they get depth.

Discussing about the door for 4 episodes is not funny. Finding a cow is not exactly what I call "surviving".

This show became a "Phil is an arse and everybody knows it and at the end he learns something (does he?) to forget about it in the next episode".

I think, the actor is not even a really good one. I didn't know him before, but this won't make him my favorite anyway. I have the feeling, that he is exactly like Phil. He writes the dialogues only for himself and lets the other characters just be plot devices.

But that would be also OK if it'S all just about Phil the jerk, but then he should be alone and do the stuff, that he did in the pilot. The series would be funnier that way.

So I think, I just let it be.

The Wachowskis better hire a real script writer before they even start to think about a new movie.

Jupiter Ascending had many cool ideas and technical gadgets and it looked amazing in 3D, but:

1. Characters are flat and boring and do not develop 2. Too many characters -> no time for character development 3. Acting is sub standard and sometimes overacted 4. Uninteresting and confusing political intrigues, which nobody cares for 5. Confusing goals of characters 6. Confusing and irrational actions and reactions of characters 7. Things happen without reason out of the blue 8. Plot devices everywhere 9. Unfinished plots 10 Clichés en masse 11. Absolutely no tension nor catharsis

... and probably many more bad things.

For me the worst thing is the lack of tension and catharsis. Absolutely nothing is there which would create any emotion in me as a viewer. Not only the characters do not get any symphaty out of me (maybe Sean Bean a little bit), but there isn't even a trace of a sign hinting that the writers tried to get a "yesss" out of me.

The ending is illogical and flat on emotions, like the whole movie before.

I think, this movie wins the grand prize on the most boring and uninteresting death of a bad guy.

------------SPOILER--------------

Come on! You live on Earth as a poor cleaning lady. You see corrupt politicians, starving children and sick people all around.

You learn to know that you are the sole owner of Earth. You are apparently concerned enough for 7 billion people to fight for their lives, but then you decide to continue working as a cleaning lady and in your spare time you surf with anti-gravity shoes on, between skyscrapers, instead of landing on earth with a huge spaceship declaring your ownership, throwing out the corrupt politicians and finishing wars and world hunger and you don't even bring that cool wound healing spray to human kind.

Right...

You are either a very dumb person or a real a**.