I came back to re-read my review for this awful film - and find that it is gone! Well, I'll say it again: this film is total garbage. Emerald did a stunning job on her previous, short film "Careful How You Go" - a dark comedy I wish I could watch again, it is that good. But this trash? I was excited to see it premiere at Sundance. But as it played out, you knew something was off - namely everything. It was as if someone else made it. Cringy, boring, and weak, trite humor and performances. As I stated in my original review, I had to wonder if studio suits took over and botched this into something other than Emerald's vision. But if this truly was Fennell's cut...what an abject travesty. Go seek out "Careful How You Go" - MUCH better!
Reviews
16 Reviews
Skinamarink
(2022)
It's hard to be scared when you're falling asleep
14 January 2023
I only found out about this two nights ago (yes, advertising worked). Watched its trailer and was instantly intrigued. Really was lured by the lo-fi aesthetic and use of darkness. But as I'm seated in the cinema, damn, I started dozing off. I hate when that happens. But it couldn't be helped. There were times as I watched, where I squinted to see if there were things recessed in the darkness of the house - I liked that. When I attend the Sundance festival, they have a section called New Frontier, which is primarily experimental - and this definitely had that feel. Actually, I look forward to giving this another chance when it shows on Shudder later this year, I think it'll play better on a screen at home.
Fall
(I) (2022)
Sweaty palms? This did it to me too
26 September 2022
Same as others who've posted, this film caused my hands to bizarrely perspire. I couldn't believe it. And even though you know what you're seeing isn't real, physiology doesn't care - the visceral feelings watching this are real. And though I was totally engrossed by their situation at the top of the tower, I couldn't wait for it to be over - the tension was incredible, but oof you just wanted it to end. And the effects of what you're watching are amplified & multiplied depending on how large a screen you see it on (if I'd seen this initially in IMAX, it would have excruciating). I wish the film had had a budget to show *how* the situation (without disclosing spoilers) was resolved, but it was still entertaining throughout.
The Nest
(I) (2020)
Extreme disappointment from Durkin
12 September 2022
Was very excited to see this at Sundance. After MMMM in 2011 (probably my favorite at that year's SFF), this was the film I made time for, #1. But it ended up as complete boring garbage, loaded with dull, cringy acting from Law. I wanted to walk out of the cinema multiple times for the dreck that it was (and still is). But I thought no, this is by the man who made MMMM - there HAS to be something redeeming about it. But it never came. Durkin's reputation, destroyed with this plate of cinematic feces, smeared in the audiences face. You know that HE must have known it was awful when neither he, nor anyone else from the production showed up for q & a - I wouldn't have either.
The Black Phone
(2021)
Went to the restroom once, ended up walking out
25 June 2022
This was stone dull. But I give it 2 stars because the girl actress in the scene where she's getting the belt was scarily convincing. Too bad there weren't any scares nor tension, just blandness. After 1 hour (and a bathroom break), I got up and walked out. Time was too valuable to waste any further on this slop.
Free Solo
(2018)
Not enough time spent on the actual freesolo climb
21 October 2018
Sorry - big Jimmy Chin fan (photography & fillmmaking) here, but "Free Solo" spends way too much time on the "human interest" side of the story and NOT ENOUGH on the actual climb. When it finally commences, the climb zips between a few certain points on the route - a huge mistake, it should have been more comprehensive and detailed. I kept waiting for it to get going and when it does, it simply does not deliver. I couldn't believe how little time was spent on the CLIMB ITSELF. Did Chin not have enough good usable footage? Meru - Chin's previous film - blows this one apart in comparison. Meru is a classic - Free Solo is ANYTHING but.
Paranormal Activity
(2007)
YES it is scary!
10 October 2009
I was ready to be disappointed. I came in expecting this to be awful like "Blair Witch". Well, guess what? The film works. About the only criticism I have is that yes, he does bring the camera along everywhere to an absurd degree, but when the screen goes blue (when they are sleeping) it is incredibly chilling.
Not only that, but the accompanying low-range, "rumble" of ambient horror sound really freaks you out. The actors did a good job of appearing "real", especially Katie.
As far as the ending goes, yes it will shock you...however, the final shot felt a bit clichéd. I would have changed it just a little to make it even scarier.
Some people complain about the mundane stuff. But what they don't understand is that that is necessary to make the couple and their experience feel more real.
Not only that, but the accompanying low-range, "rumble" of ambient horror sound really freaks you out. The actors did a good job of appearing "real", especially Katie.
As far as the ending goes, yes it will shock you...however, the final shot felt a bit clichéd. I would have changed it just a little to make it even scarier.
Some people complain about the mundane stuff. But what they don't understand is that that is necessary to make the couple and their experience feel more real.
It Might Get Loud
(2008)
A terrific profile of two guitar legends (and one in the future?)
16 January 2009
An incredible doc featuring The Edge, Jimmy Page, and Jack White. The film is very, very well done. The opening credits are pretty cool. The thing is, at many times this film seems to work best for Edge and Page. It really is amazing to watch Edge go over the technicalities involved in creating his trademark style. Page is incredible; it's especially funny in one scene, where the other two are singing, and he flatly declares, "I can't sing!" - hilarious. Jack White seems to be a little out of his element here. He's the young gun of course, and over time perhaps he'll be thought of in a similar light to his legendary predecessors. But really, there is nothing to complain about. There is some classic footage of U2 (dressed in new wave clothes??) that may leave you laughing! The vintage reels of Page and U2 still give me the chills. Guggenheim has done a fantastic job. I look forward to seeing it again.
Tyson
(2008)
Iron Mike - for real.
16 January 2009
What a great documentary. For anyone who likes boxing, this is a must-see. You hear Mike talking, almost non-stop, throughout giving numerous details about his personal life. The techniques used to present the film were terrific, though it does require you to pay attention; at several points, Toback runs multiple moving split-screens - it's an interesting device as you are forced to "follow" the dialog as one screen box goes quiet as another picks up where it left off.
The fight footage is incredible. I felt like I was watching all this footage again for the first time.
Throughout, the viewer is given access to a side of Tyson I doubt any but his closest friends and associates have ever witnessed. At many points he chokes up, fighting back tears - it's an amazing thing to watch.
And there's a lot of laughs. I won't reveal them, but there is some really funny stuff.
The fight footage is incredible. I felt like I was watching all this footage again for the first time.
Throughout, the viewer is given access to a side of Tyson I doubt any but his closest friends and associates have ever witnessed. At many points he chokes up, fighting back tears - it's an amazing thing to watch.
And there's a lot of laughs. I won't reveal them, but there is some really funny stuff.
Once
(I) (2007)
Fool me "Once" - this film is falsely advertised.
24 July 2007
Warning: Spoilers
I've been meaning to see this for awhile. Well, I finally did. What a scam. Watching the trailer, you'd think you'd be in for a nice romance (I don't care much for romantic pieces, except when they're low-key and honest a la "Before Sunrise/Sunset"). The trailer felt like magic. And truth be told, the film does start out very nicely. I loved the first song they played together in the music shop. There was chemistry, and I thought this was well on it's way toward greatness. But to my dismay, it fell apart. Why? Well, going back to that trailer (and even the film's poster) - you're set up to think these two are going to really hit it off. But the fact of the matter is that after the guy learns she has a kid, things slid downhill fast. For one thing, he is way more in to her than vice versa. She's still married, and she wants to see if things can still work out with her separated husband. One wants to slap the "Guy" across the face and say, hey mate - you're wasting your time! Not only that, but there's one song that plays to completion where the "Girl" walks around the neighborhood block at night in one seemingly uninterrupted take - it went on too long. After awhile, I felt like this film was more about the love of music and performing than a love story between the two. That bothered me. I must say this though: there are some very good songs; that's the film's strength. Again, the "Guy" began to get pathetic. The loving feelings weren't mutual it seemed, and that was disappointing not to mention a tad dull. At the end he gets her a piano?!? Please. Ugh, I felt cheated.
Fido
(2006)
Boring, unfunny zombie film
6 June 2007
But I'll give it 2 stars because it has Carrie-Ann. I really wanted to like this movie. I like zombie movies. Add comedy, and how could it miss? Well, unfortunately I sat in the theater...waiting...waiting...waiting for something funny to appear on-screen. But it never came. If you're easily entertained and don't ask for much, "Fido" may suffice. But if you're looking for something a bit sharper, stay away. Not only that, but this film DRAGS on and on and on. The main zombie is kind of amusing in the beginning, but after awhile it gets tired. One of the things I didn't like was how "forced" this felt. The directing and acting performances just didn't click. I was bored and very disappointed with this. Don't get your hopes up for this film.
The Descent
(2005)
Devastating, visceral, breathtaking horror
4 August 2006
This is without question an experience - one that I haven't walked out of a theater feeling in many, many years. The audience I saw this with in January (@Sundance) was completely sucked in, screaming, roiling in pure fear. The film stayed with me for several days afterward - in fact it did something no film has ever managed to do: it gave me nightmares. The night I saw it I could not sleep, it was that powerful in its ability to shock and make one's blood run cold. The direction, cinematography, and execution are delivered with mesmerizing skill. Bravo to everyone involved in this total masterpiece, not just in horror but for cinema history itself. This is a classic. Unforgettable.
Into Great Silence
(2005)
Bored me to tears
30 January 2006
Well, the premise of this film intrigued me. I was looking forward to something beautiful. Instead, I absolutely had to walk out after only 1 hour - I just couldn't take it anymore. If you think you're in for a meditative, transfixing, trenchant experience prepare to be massively disappointed. You know, you may as well sit in an old-folks home and sit still passively watching them because that is almost exactly what you get here. Sure, there are a few exterior shots that look nice, but overall it is STONE DULL. And at nearly THREE hours?? Please. I was also surprised at how bad it looked. Then I discovered it was filmed in Super 8. If you're going to film something like this up in a mountain monastery, at least shoot it with a good camera and lenses. If you're looking for something to fall asleep to, you might not do worse than to watch this. This might not be a bad film to have on like a virtual fish tank, something that you glance at in passing, but to watch it in its entirety in one sitting is tortuous and masochistic.
Salvage
(2006)
Lauren Currie Lewis is going to be a star (fingers crossed)
27 January 2006
This is a pretty cool, low-budget film I just saw at Sundance. I have to say that Lauren Currie Lewis is terrific. And sexy-cute. I hate to make make comparisons between actors, but she looks like Alicia Silverstone, but with gobs more talent. The movie itself is pretty entertaining, but I doubt it will find distribution (I hope I'm wrong). Chris Ferry is great as a villain. He totally nails it and I loved hearing him keep calling Claire - it was funny. And the music was great too, evoking a lot of themes you'd typically find in a suspense / horror film. Again, Lauren is totally adorable and sexy. I can't help but feel she's going to become much in demand after this.
Gladiator
(2000)
overrated
6 September 2001
I've seen this twice. Once in the theater and again on video. Each time was a disappointment. Judging from the look of the film it truly desires to be great, but ultimately it fails. Talk about woeful miscasting - Mr. Phoenix is atrocious (he is so much better in Clay Pigeons, and U-Turn). I can hardly watch him anytime he is on the screen. And what's with Lucilla's son? He looks like a pre-pubescent Adrian Lyne circa "Fatal Attraction". I disliked the score by Hans Zimmer - yet another component of a film that yearns to be epic, but isn't. Disappointing also in it's outright theft of Gustav Holst's "The Planets". Lisa Gerrard's beautiful voice is unquestionably suited for a vast, cinematic opus. This isn't it. This film suffered from too much explaining of it's special effects. Knowing how fake the Coliseum is with it's liberal use of CGI robbed me of any awe it could have produced. I didn't like the slow-motion effects in the opening battle scenes. And the dog jumping through fire? Please. A film that should have been great, but is just another over-hyped (but I did love the Kid Rock trailer-music promo), poorly executed waste of two hours.
The Elephant Man
(1980)
a masterpiece of mood and beauty
1 December 2000
One of my all-time favorites, this film brings me to tears whenever I see it. It strikes deep into the soul for it's compassion to someone whose life was a hell on earth. Why this has yet to see a release on DVD is bewildering (as I've seen it only on television in a "pan-and-scan" format, I'm anxious to see it in it's original Panavision framing). The acting is superb from all involved, the cinematography is flawless. By all means see this beautifully touching film.
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