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Reviews
Red, White & Royal Blue (2023)
As a Queer Gen Z Boy, I Hate This.
There is a lot of great queer media that's been released recently and in the past covering a variety of communities and subcultures. There has also been some fantasy wish fulfillment stuff which I don't prefer but can interesting and entertaining on it's own merits.
This movie and the book it comes from are repulsive to to me for 2 reasons:
Firstly: It completely misunderstands gay relationships between men, its not just unrealistic (which could be ok) it's cartoonish and stereotypical, just not in the usual way.
Secondly: It's objectifying and accessorizing to male homosexuality. This is not gay fiction by or for a man, this is gay fiction by and for WOMEN.
The second issue is what I'd like to zero in on, because on one hand I could see how this could aid in it being appreciated as a campy romp by my fellow gays, but on the other this is possibly one of the most regressive gay movies to ever be released.
I've never met a gay/bi guy in person who likes this movie (if they've seen it), I've met to many women enthusiastically praise this movie whilst also behaving in subtlety homophobic ways towards me. I feel they mostly are ignorant of what allyship as a straight person actually means.
This is a generalized experience and to be clear, the women in my life that are important to me (many of which are queer) can have a nuanced conversation and perspective on the subject of women writing gay men through the female gaze.
However as it stands, this movie is a frustratedly shallow BL fantasy for women that's on the same level as Twilight masquerading as a progressive drama/comedy that socially accessorizes and objectifies queer men.
Five Nights at Freddy's (2023)
Terrible, Disappointing Cash Grab, Get blackout drunk and watch it with friends.
First viewing I watched it stone cold sober, there was one scene I liked, I left the theater feeling empty.
The second viewing, I was severely drunk and with friends and we were probably very rude theater guests, one of my friends moaned in a german accent whenever chica was onscreen. Some one else in the theater whistled at Josh Hutcherson, Doug was by far the best and most loved character in the movie. Afterwards there were many jokes to be had about the bad writing, the sushi and beers afterwards were the highlight of the night.
Anyway, here's why I gave this terrible movie a 10/10:
Five Nights at Freddy's (the game series) was my first introduction to many important and complex things in art, despite it being a now-cringe inducing mainstream internet degeneracy fest.
FNAF was the first game I played to have a limited perspective and utilize it perfectly, it was the first piece of media I engaged with that had elements of horror and suspense, it's arguably pulp in regards to gameplay. It was also the first piece of art I had seen that did not spoon feed you the story but infact dangled bits in front of you leaving open interpretation, and a narrative that was surreal and Lynchian-lite.
These are the things that to me as a fan, make FNAF special. It is an artistically important series whose influence can be seen in this generation of storytellers regrettably growing up on the internet.
By no means if FNAF as a series a masterpiece or intentional in many of its merits, but movie had much to live up to in terms of entertainment and uniqueness.
It did not deliver any of these things, a 15 year old could make a better plot and a Tarantino film bro could write better dialogue.
I give it 10/10 because at least they got the movie out. I hope the next one is better.
Theatre of Violence (2023)
A compelling documentary that feels like a court drama.
After watching Theatre of Violence during a school-mandated viewing, I got into an argument with a classmate over whether or not it's subject truly received justice. A man who almost certainly commited the most hanious crimes possible- and yet there is a strong debate on how to administer punishment.
As I stated in the title, the documentary often felt like a court drama, and its beautiful (probably) anamorphic cinematography lends well to its credit in that regard. Of course visuals are nothing without a coherent narrative, and one is provided efficiently but with a touch of dark thematic depth beyond the descriptions of the crimes themselves.
While watching, you get the sense that many of the interviewees, both europian and ugandian, have skewed perceptions of the situation.
To me this is the most interesting element of the documentary and the reason it had a reason to be made at all, I only wish they had leaned into it harder. The political subtext of a ugandian mass murderer being tried and convicted in Europe is frustrately ironic. Yet at the same time paradoxically the only way something close to justice can be served given the sociopolitical circumstances of Uganda. The European vs African views of the situation is what in my opinion gives the documentary philosophical texture and conflict. It is also what started the argument I referred to in the beginning of this review.
To be clear, there is no sympathy to be drawn from the subject. He is a serial violator of human rights and many have suffered or died because of him. However, I don't view the essential question of the documentary as *What* to do with him, but *Who* does it to him, and the presidents that could set.
High Plains Drifter (1973)
"The 6th Sense" meets "Hang Em' High"
Watch this move. For the love of god watch this movie.
Dead Man on Campus (1998)
A flawed masterpiece.
In short: Shallow, but funny, filled with quirky characters and interactions, undermined by moments of cringe, and features one of the most enjoyable duos in comedy.
Though it's somewhat misrepresented through it's trailers and movie poster. They would have you believe that this is the average dumb rock band filled collage movie. In part, it is that, but it's clear that it was cut and edited that way as opposed to filmed and written that way. And when it is that way it's still funny, but it feels very out of place.
Sure it had a lot of missed opportunities which would tip off anyone who has seen this movie and now reading this review that my assertion of this movie being a "masterpiece" is mostly sarcastic.
The thing is, this movie can't really be done better than it was. Not in the way that it was as good as it could of been now, but opportunity make this movie is forever gone. All of the right ingredients for a widely recognized classic are here, it just missed the mark ever so slightly. If the script was more thought out and in depth and steered away from the aforementioned "teen rock music movie" in some places then it would have better. Same thing with the editing and direction. I think the producers injected some mainstream ideas into the movie to make it more accessible. These parts of the movie don't ruin it but don't make it any better.
Overall, I like it, but it's niche.
Unus Annus (2019)
Good.
Though some of it comes off a self-important, UNAS ANNUS is a fun, high concept web series that show cases Mark and Ethan's chemistry.