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Doom (2005)
Back to Hell
Although many reviews have been written about this movie I must have my say. The reason for this is quite simple: I feel an urge to write comments on movies if they belong to a special category. Let us label this category "garbage". Sounds pretty tough, but Doom really deserves this label. Don't be fooled ant think I did not know what to expect. Having read a lot of negative reviews, my expectations were quite low. However, one should make up one's mind and judge it by oneself (at least when you don't have to pay for the tickets which holds true in this case!) The main reason is that Doom violates the most important rule concerning movies: A movie should never be boring. Movies can be stupid, dull, shallow or mindless but at least they should entertain because that is what they were made for (apart from the fact that the studios want to earn a lot of money). The problem in this case is that there is no tension at all. I can not believe that there are people out there who were kept at the edge of their seats while watching this flick. Instead I believe that 99 % of the people who have seen more than one movie from the sci/fi-horror genre in the last 20 years were yawning since they anticipated what would happen on the screen. Andrzej Bartkowiak should have watched Aliens (yes, I belong to the James Cameron-is-one-of-the-greatest-directors-of-all-time-fan club) a bit more often then he would have known what tension means. Apart from the fact that Doom is boring, it also is not atmospheric at all. Personally I think that a movie especially a sci/fi, horror or fantasy movie- which lacks this feature has a problem in getting the audience involved in what is taking place on the screen. One is just sitting on the seat but is not really "participating". The final fault of the movie which somehow connects to the aforementioned point is its cheap look. I am astonished about the estimated budget of about 70.000.000 Dollars. Where did they spend the money on? Most of the sets and creatures look so cheap. Anything else? Yes! The funny thing is that from time my yawning was interrupted by laughter because some of the one-liners are so dumb that I had to laugh pretty loud. Eventually Doom is the product of a very mediocre director who additionally was plagued with a poor screenplay. Back to hell with Doom (oh, I forget: No hell available)
Blade: Trinity (2004)
Franchise needs fresh blood
Being quite a fan of the first two installments I was looking forward to the final? chapter of the trilogy (although one can be sure that another one will follow as long as this one makes enough money). Well, what to say about the flick?! I think that Blade Trinity is not as good as the previous ones but still it entertained me throughout its running time. One of the major problems is the villain: Dracula is so anemic which makes him such a colorless character. Either one makes the villain so evil that he/she is really detestable or one must provide the villain with character traits that make him interesting. Neither of it is the case here. Dracula is not really that evil and frightening as he could be. Another problem are the action sequences. Yes, they are okay and sometimes quite good but overall anybody who has watched action movies in the last years will not really be impressed by what he has seen (Blade I was even pretty revolutionary in the pre-Matrix era). I also felt that this installment lacked the pretty dark and dense atmosphere of its predecessors. Astonishingly I liked Ryan Reynolds' performance.The character Hannibal King is really a flat character but nonetheless he was really funny sometimes. To put it in a nutshell: If one liked the first two flicks he/she will probably like the this one as well although this franchise shows signs of wear and tear under David S. Goyer.
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)
T-3 had better not risen
After a lot of quite positive critics about Terminator 3 and many positive reviews I thought that maybe T-3 would not be so bad as I had imagined. When it finally was released in Germany I was eager to see it on the opening day. I shouldn't have... T-3 is an average action movie but nothing extraordinary. Judged by its predecessors T-3 is inferior in every respect. T-3 neither has the dark atmosphere of the first Terminator nor the epic size of T-2. Okay, maybe one could not expect that, but at least I expected a serious treatment of the heir. However, the first 15 minutes seem to be a parody on T-2 (as if Jerry/David Zucker& Jim Abrahams had directed the bar-scence) and this really annoyed me. Also, the often praised car chase is not as impressive as the one in Reloaded. But that is not the point. The real problem is, that the Terminator is mocked and ridiculed in my opinion and the T-X seems by far not as dangerous as the T-1000 or Schwarzenegger in T-1. Where Cameron created a dark and dense atmosphere, strong characters + state-of-the-art action sequences T-3 hurries from one scene to the next without spending time on the characters or the story. Well, if you liked T-3 it is okay, but I do not think that anyone who loves the first two installments will be really satisfied with Mostows creation.
Windtalkers (2002)
Another Disappointment
Having been disappointed by MI2, I hoped that John Woo (who has always been one of my favorite directors) will do better this time. But unfortunately, Windtalkers is not as good as I expected, and is on the same low level as Mi2. Visually, the movie is inferior than all other Woo movies. The fighting sequences are only standard, nothing that thrills you. The story is full of cliches and even Nicolas Cage is not convincing in his role. Well, I could enumerate many other things, but I think every fan of Hard Boiled, A Better Tomorrow and Face Off feels the same. Mr. Woo, try again.
Surf Nazis Must Die (1987)
As bad as it gets
Well, I did not expect a "good" movie, but what I expected was at least somehow a funny and entertaining movie. However, I saw the worst movie ever. This movie is so boring and dumb, I do not know how you could excel it in terms of boringness and stupidity. Such kinds of movies only work with some self-irony, but this movie is lacking any kind of irony. When there is no sign of humor, are there at least some good splatter and gore effects? No, not at all. There should be a law against such movies and I can only warn everybody not to watch this movie otherwise you will have the worst 75 minutes of your life.