Reviews

Before Freddy was turned into a standup comedian, he was really scary. A Nightmare on Elm Street has one of the smartest scripts of the 80's slasher cycle and all the performances are excellent and even the more amateur ones lend a realism missing from other slasher films. The ending is weak, but everything building up to it is very scary.

Poltergeist II has some scary moments, but the script isn't anywhere near as good as the original and some of it does drag. Some moments like the braces coming to life and attacking Robbie and the tequilla worm monster are frightening in small doses, but silly looking when seen for too long. Jerry Goldsmith's score might even be better than his work in the first film and Julian Beck leaves a lasting impression as the skeletal preacher.

Great characters you can pull for make Poltergeist one of the most effective horror films I've seen. It's not loaded with gore, but you're invested every step of the way thanks to the smart writing and great performances especially Craig T. Nelson and Jo Beth Williams as the parents who want to get their child back.

Though it strays from the original fairy tale in its second half, it does bring a lot of interesting ideas to the story and creates a memorable villain in Ursula, the sea witch who wants Ariel's voice for her own. The music score is beautiful and the animation is stunning.

This adaptation of Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella doesn't bring a whole lot of new material except a few new songs and a much welcome multi-racial cast, but it nevertheless charms and enchants. The trunk song "The Sweetest Sounds" has been added for Cinderella and the Prince as well as "Falling In Love With Love" for Cinderella's wicked stepmother and they both fit in nicely with the rest of the classic lineup of songs. Some of the computer effects haven't held up that well, but you could say the same of the effects in the 1965 version.

The Swan Princess is essentially a remix of Swan Lake with some beautiful classic hand drawn animation and some good tunes thrown in. All the voice actors give their characters lots of personality, but Liz Callaway has the voice of an angel as Odette. I've never heard such a clear and beautiful speaking and singing voice in my life. Children and families should enjoy it.

Diana Rigg chews up the scenery as the Evil Queen who wants to do away with her young stepdaughter. It's a classic story brought to life by some inventive performances, great scenery, odd costumes, and a handful of listenable songs. It's fairly faithful to the original Grimm story and has a nice dark undercurrent while still having a sense of humor.

The concept of Auntie Lee's Meat Pies is interesting and a cast of talented veterans like Karen Black, Pat Morita, and Michael Berryman do their best, but the script goes all over the place and a few subplots end up being entirely useless by the end of the film. A more fine tuned and straightforward script about a rock band falling prey to a group of cannibalistic temptresses would have been more interesting. Some of the visuals are colorful and the gore effects are decent, but there never seems to be a main character to pull for.

As beautiful as the score is for The Slipper and the Rose is and no matter how well produced and photographed it might be, it still wears out its welcome occasionally. There's a lot of wit and some smart characterizations, especially for the Prince and royal family which is a nice change of pace, but Cinderella herself gets the short straw and comes across as a bit underdeveloped. It's not Gemma Craven's fault. She plays the role beautifully and has a lovely singing voice, but she doesn't have as much to do as I'd have liked. The extended ending, detailing what happens after the traditional fairy tale ends, is a nice change of pace.

In spite of its TV movie roots and questionable effects work, there's a charm to this version of Cinderella that you can't replicate anywhere else. It has the feeling of watching a well done Broadway play. The cast is committed and fun with special props to Lesley Ann Warren for making Cinderella incredibly endearing and even heartbreaking when she needs to be. She also has a very sweet, pleasant singing voice and handles the beautiful Rodgers and Hammerstein score wonderfully. Stuart Damon is appropriately handsome and dashing as the Prince.

Obviously made on the cheap with a TV movie budget, this version of Snow White has a lot of big ideas, but it sometimes feels like it's trying to do too much at once and distance itself as far away from the original story as possible. In this version, the Evil Queen isn't simply a wicked, vain woman but some sort of ancient witch who's turned beautiful by her magical brother to fulfill a favor to Snow White's father. She ends up bewitching the father into falling in love with her by sticking a shard of mirror in his eye like in The Snow Queen.

Eventually, the story gets back to the basics of the Evil Queen trying to kill Snow White. There is the ghoulish touch of having the Queen transform herself into a vision of Snow White's dead birth mother to deliver the poisoned apple and some other touches like Snow White appearing from the mirror to torment the Queen are nice, but the story still seems like it's trying to do too much with too little time. Still worthy of a watch, though.

Ari Aster is quickly becoming the go-to horror master of our modern age next to the likes of Jordan Peele and Robert Eggars. After watching Hereditary, it's easy to understand why. It's not a "fun" horror film in the traditional sense and you get the feeling Aster is getting off on making you as disturbed and uncomfortable as humanly possible. As a lifelong horror fan, it's nice to see a new horror movie where you feel incredibly unsafe the entire time.

Hereditary functions mostly as incredibly dark domestic drama with Toni Collette carrying the film as Annie, a struggling artist whose life descends into neverending tragedy after her estranged mother's death. Her performance is the kind that awards were made for and it's shocking that she wasn't even nominated for any of the major awards that season.

While this creative team seems like a strange choice to remake Dario Argento's Suspiria, they more than prove their worth by taking the story in a fresh, original direction that gives you different feelings and emotions than the original.

While the original film had it's unique mood and color scheme to entertain you, this one has a stronger script involving the interior politics of the dance academy and all its teachers. Sometimes, you do catch yourself wondering if all these different characters and plot threads will come together in the end, but it mostly ends up being a satisfactory experience with some great performances, a dread-filled mood, and excellent performances.

There are moments of body horror here that rival anything you've seen in a David Cronenberg movie. Those who are easily squeamish might want to have the fast-forward button handy.

John Carpenter's follow up to Halloween couldn't be more different and it's all the better for it. Having proven himself as talented enough to kick off the slasher boom that would continue into the 80's, Carpenter and co-writer/producer, Debra Hill, decided to go for a slower, creepier, and moodier film for the their 2nd big horror collaboration together.

It's the 21st of April and the town of Antonio Bay has gone a little haywire. Cars honk, bottles rattle, chairs move by themselves, and a mysterious fog begins to creep in. It's the anniversary of the founding of the town, but many have forgotten that the town was founded by murderers and thieves and the people they stole from and killed to get their town are angry and hungry for revenge.

As the celebrations continue, strange figures come out from the fog itself and claim their victims.

If you're in the mood for more Michael Myers slashing, you'll be very upset with The Fog. It's all about mood, atmosphere, and conjuring up that ghost story vibe. The performances by the huge ensemble cast are all excellent and it's nice to see a middle aged Janet Leigh play such a fun character. It's more creepy than outright scary, so it's good to know that going in.

Hollywood Horror House has been forgotten for far too long which is unfortunate, because it's one of the most entertaining of the films that followed in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane's wake featuring faded former Hollywood leading ladies anxious to play the most grotesque characters imaginable.

The star in question here is Miriam Hopkins who plays a faded former film start with a pretty terrible drinking problem (she collapses down the stairs during a drunken delusion when we first meet her) and she lives with her minimal staff in a stunning and well maintained Hollywood mansion, seemingly content living in her dreamworld like a slightly more stable Norma Desmond. Everything changes when a mysterious young drifter infiltrates her inner circle and the bodycount rises.

Unlike many of the other Baby Jane clones, this film had the luxury of coming at the start of the 70's where it was becoming apparent that anything you could dream up content wise could get on screen, so there's a lot more sleaze and gore in this film than some of the others. It's sometimes silly, but it's always entertaining.

Dario Argento's last great film from the 80's has all the style, viciousness, and loud music you could expect. If that's what you're looking for, it'll be hard to find another film to hit that spot any better.

Betty, a young opera understudy is thrust into the lead female role of Verdi's Macbeth when the diva playing the role is hit by a car, but this comes with a steep price as members of the crew are killed off one by one as Betty is forced to watch by being tied up and having needles placed under her eyes. As she does some digging, she gets reason to believe this killer might be connected the same person who killed her mother many years prior.

Filled with campy backstage drama, gory death sequences, gorgeous opera arias, and some of the loudest heavy metal music ever heard, Opera is one of Argento's most intense and lurid films and a great way for him to close out a decade of solid work.

Scenes From A Class Struggle in Beverly Hills is probably the classiest film on Paul Bartel's resume, but don't let that deter you. The script is just as uproarious and irreverent as many of his other films, but it has a professional gloss that many of his other films don't have.

It stars Jaqueline Bisset as Clare, a washed up former sitcom star whose husband has just died from autoerotic strangulation, leaving her feeling like she needs to make a big change in her life. Everything boils over during a fateful weekend at her mansion where her friends and family expose their own failings, kinks, and desires.

With a colorful cast including Ed Begley, Jr, Wallace Shawn, Mary Woronov, Robert Beltran, Ray Sharkey, and Bartel himself, it's hard not to enjoy this film. Each character has their moment to shine and a few funny bits to land. If there's any flaw, it's that the film feels a little overlong in places.

Bloodsucking Freaks is genuinely disgusting, but it's hard to say it's absolute trash, because it's so obvious that everything is done in a tongue in cheek way. It's as much a satire on the theatre world as it is a grimy, gory exploitation film.

The premise of the film is that the head of an experimental theatre group named Sardu is miffed that his torture stage show has been panned by a powerful critic so he kidnaps the critic, a ballet dancer, and a few other vixens and tortures them.

The entire film is absolutely ridiculous, but you'll recognize a few actors from the film Alice, Sweet Alice and the gore effects manage to be both impressive and hokey at the same time. It's not must see entertainment, but there are worse movies out there.

To be honest, I was never a huge fan of the original Valley of the Dolls. Certainly, a few isolated scenes are campy enough to supply one with a few laughs, but the film as a whole moves at a glacial pace and it misses more than it hits. Beyond the Valley of the Dolls is less a sequel than a spiritual successor to the original film, taking everything that worked about it and multiplying it by 1000.

Unlike Valley, Beyond wastes no time in getting started. Within the first 10 minutes, our leads - an all girl rock band - have moved to L.A. and are attending their first swanky, exclusive party with the booze, sex, and drugs have run amok. Before long, they've been invited to play a song at said party, which leads to them being rebranded The Carrie Nations and signing with the party giver himself.

In classic showbusiness cautionary tale fashion, jealousies arise, relationships fall apart, and heads roll - literally, in the film's absolutely crazy 3rd act.

For a film that nearly pushes two hours, Beyond the Valley of the Dolls doesn't let up for a moment, keeping the pacing tight and the insanity flowing like champagne. The camp level is off the charts.

Sleepless might be Dario Argento's last truly good movie. It's far from perfect and never quite reaches the stylistic heights of his 70's and 80's work, but it's a somewhat smart re-imagining of the giallo film with enough gory set pieces to keep the gorehounds satisfied and just enough twists and turns to keep the mystery fans on their toes.

Max Von Sydow plays an aging detective brought back into a murder case 20 years later when it appears that the murderer has returned to continue their killing spree. He's joined by the son of one of the victims and, together, they team up to figure out who's behind all this mayhem.

Sleepless has its high points - the opening train sequence might be one of Argento's best and all the murder set pieces are inventive and filled with shockingly good effects that are sure to make you cringe. Also, Goblin has reunited to give us one of their most effective scores that helps the film tremendously.

There are pacing issues in the middle section of the film and the two young leads aren't as well written or interesting as one would like which makes many of their scenes drag and feel like work to get through. It's no slight to the actors, because I don't think it's their fault at all. The murder mystery is at least interesting and the killer's reveal is at least a genuine surprise.

Sleepless won't be classified by anyone as top tier Argento, but it's one of his best post-80's works.

Though suffering from some less than ideal dubbing, The Polar Bear King still manages to weave its spell thanks to charming practical effects, good performances, a wonderful musical score, and good old fashioned great storytelling.

Based on the fairy tale East of the Sun West of the Moon, The Polar Bear King has a few similarities with Beauty and the Beast with its enchanted princes and brave young women who see the good inside them and try their hardest to brave the spell. As in that story, a handsome prince has been turned into an animal by a vengeful sorceress and it's up to a pure princess from a neighboring kingdom to see past the facade, break the curse, and become the enchanted prince's wife. This would be easier if it weren't for the wicked sorceress getting in the way and trying to stop her at every turn.

The Polar Bear King is lushly photographed and well paced with just enough to keep both parent and children's attention throughout. It's one of the lesser, more obscure fairy tales out there, but it's very well told and sure to enchant viewers of all ages.

There are a lot of good ideas in Human Experiments and the first 15/20 minutes are notably gripping. While the execution leaves a little to be desired most of the time, Linda Haynes makes for a watchable protagonist and there are a few highlights such as a nasty scene where a blood=drenched Haynes is stick in a room where bugs fall from the ceiling and spiders come out of the air vents.

The rest of Human Experiments is mostly by the book and predicable with a colorful cast of characters right out of a Linda Blair TV movie. A big twist towards the end does add a little something special, but it's too little too late.

Frequent Dario Argento collaborator and muse, Daria Nicolodi, stars as a frustrated housewife who starts to believe the spirit of her dead lover has possessed the body of her young son, leading to all sorts of uncomfortable Oeudipal sequences.

Most directors' careers teeter out after 10 or 15 years. They don't always feel like they have much to prove anymore, so they start slacking a bit and, by the end of their careers, they disappear with a mere whisper. Thankfully, Mario Bava saved one of his best accomplishments for last with Shock.

Unlike a lot of Italian horror films (including Bava's), Shock has a well constructed story and screenplay that still manages to squeeze in more than a handful of genuinely effective nightmarish sequences that these films are known for.

Even dubbed, Nicolodi is pitch perfect as the lead and she gets to show off a lot more range than she was ever allowed to with Dario Argento (minus Deep Red of course).

It's hard to imagine that Baby Doll was released in the mid-50's. The film practically radiates sleaze and sexual energy from the first scene as Karl Malden creates a peephole to spy on his 19 year old wife Baby Doll (played by Carroll Baker) as she sleeps in a crib. Yes, Baby Doll sleeps in a crib for reasons that are never quite clear. You see, the thing is - they have an arrangement. On Baby Doll's 20th birthday, she's agreed to let her husband finally have sex with her for the first time and she's turning 20 in just a day or so.

In the meanwhile, Malden's character burns down a rival's cotton gin (played by Eli Wallach) and the rival decides to enact his own type of revenge by seducing Baby Doll away from him.

The fact that Baby Doll was made at all is a bit of a miracle. Tennessee Williams had a hell of a time getting Streetcar Named Desire to the screen at all just a few years prior and, even then, he had to make several cuts and changes for it to be deemed decent enough for audiences at the time. This was released only a few years later and the sexual heat radiates from every frame.

The chemistry between Baker and Wallach alone is worth seeing Baby Doll for. There's one scene on a swing that actually took my breath away.

A nursing home always seemed like a great place for a horror story to me and Next of Kin proves me right. This Aussie thriller/semi-slasher follows a young woman who returns home after her mother's death to look after their estate which is, now, a nursing home, but it seems as if someone is murdering the residents and it's up to our heroine to find out why before she becomes the next victim.

Drenched in darkness and rain, Next of Kin sets a great tone right off the bat and owes its debts more to Hitchcock and Argento than Sean S. Cunningham. It's a clever story with some good twists and turns, but it never seems as if we get to know the characters that well. This does hurt the film and it doesn't always flow as well as it should. By the time it gets to the blood soaked finale, it doesn't matter much, though. It's incredibly well executed and ends everything with a bang (quite literally).

Fans of slow burn suspense will enjoy this one a lot.