Change Your Image
asalcewicz
Reviews
Zoom (2006)
Maybe for small children?
Normally I give any movie that is competently made and has a coherent plot at least a 4, but this an exception. Maybe the target audience is small children, but if that's the case the Spy Kids/Sky High are so much better. Then there's the not insignificant matter of Smashmouth being all over this film. Big time regrets as the credits rolled.
Masquerade (2021)
Very bad
Not good in any way. This would have made a bad short film, but was inexplicably stretched out to feature length. So many unwarranted filler shots, almost as many underwhelming performances. Do yourself a favor and watch paint dry instead.
Don't Think Twice (2016)
Unfortunate
A line from the film sums it up perfectly: "Not funny. Skillful, but not funny."
Apparently reviews have a character count, so let's have a bit more. If you think improv is the One True Thing, then maybe this is for you. Perhaps you love comedy but it hates you? Have you chased success but it's given you the Heisman at every turn. Maybe you get a raging stiffy every time you think you're watching a comedy but it turns out to be a sort of sad sack drama. If any of that sounds familiar then by all means spend ~100 minutes of your life watching this, but if not then do anything else. Good cast, quality performances, but the script submarines the whole endeavor.
The Uninvited (2008)
Big bag of suck
Incoherent and aimless. If you told me that someone made ~30 minutes of a movie and got run over by a bus, then the producers brought in a team of monkeys to randomly cut the remaining footage together so they'd have something to release then you'd have told a better story than whatever this was. Hardest of passes
The Exorcism of Molly Hartley (2015)
Very bad
I love exorcism movies. This was so bad I came here to leave a review. It's pretty enough and a competently made film, but it's not entertaining, compelling, or scary. It's just bad and you can find many better things to do with ~100 minutes of your life