Reviews

Oh man I am really getting tired of every schmoe out there thinking they are going to be the next Blair Witch Project. Guys, you can't act, you can't direct, and you can't even pick a good script.

Let's count the many ways that this movie sucker worse tahn a UWE Bolle feature..and that is saying a lot.

1. John (the so called Cool guy) This guy is a walking powder keg and seems to hate everything and everyone around him. Why the hell anyone would want to hang out with him is beyond me. His vocabulary consists of profanities and not much else. This guy has a sexual innuendo for everything. He could be taking a dump and make comments like "Oh yeah you like that? Das right bitch open wide for big poppa...yeah babeeee, way to slide on out"

2. The drug dealer guy (umm I've never seen a geekier drug dealer in my life. He likes to take nature walks and he's p-whipped? C'MON!!!)

3. Shannon (drug dealer's girlfriend and supposed Hot chick of the bunch) She rates a 3/10 in the looks department, of course put her next to the other two 'women' and I use that term lightly, and she moves up to a 6/10. So what were her redeeming qualities? Uh none, she was about as much of a KJ that John.

4. John's two biatches. Unfortunately he named them quite well. A real funny scene was when they were both topless and remarking about how fat John had gotten. Talk about irony, I can only thank the director for doing far shots of their nudity. Hell if you watch the gag reel some of the crew kicked the hell out of both of them in the looks dept.

Oh man I can't even go on it was so bad. I'll tell you what, I turned off the movie with 7 minutes remaining I couldn't take it anymore.

OK, let's go thru a few of the things that made this movie so irritating to watch

1. Kid watches his parents go thru a murder/suicide, has s3v12 CARVED, that's right CARVED into his hands. Years later "Hey, who should we hire to teach our kids?: How about the guy with the carved stuff on his hands, he's gotta be stable right? Safe around kids?

2. The attempts at trying to be like the movie "aliens" with videocam feeds and a sense of urgency and chaos, when it's this cheesy, it doesn't work.

3. The constant issue with the fact that the heroine has gone AWOL. OK OK, we got it the first 30 times it was mentioned. Here the world is being invaded by an indestructible organism that grows exponentially, and all anyone seems to give a rat's butt about is the fact that the heroine is absent without leave. "You are gonna be court martialed and thrown in the brig for being AWOL soldier" "Sir, excuse me sir, but seeing as how the world is going to end, um, you can jam it sideways sir"

4. All the sir/yes sir dialog Sigh "Sir, I may have vital information about the organism sir, did I tell you about my last bowel movement sir, or the fact that I am on my period sir and am a little bit emotional sir?"

5. The heroine almost pukes when the hero cuts himself on the finger to test his theory on the affects of his blood on the organism. 30 minutes later (and within 24 hrs of her husband being killed in front of her) she is bathing, that's right BATHING herself in the hero's blood, a little bit too erotically I might add.

6. The heroine complains that if only "Glenn were alive, he would know what to do, he always does" Ummm excuse me, but are we talking about the same wheelchair bound hubby that can't even prevent himself from getting an ass sore? Puh-lease.

7. So after the heroine coats herself with blood and realizes that it is a good defense, what does this chick that has figured out about immunity and dna blah blah blah do at the end? She opens up the capsule surrounding her husband that washes her with fluid, thus negating the immunity from the blood. What a moron, it's not like he was alive anyway. Then she is whining and screaming for Frank to come rescue her while he is in the middle of killing the organism. ME ME ME.

This movie was painful to watch, I mean really painful. The heroine has this constant half open mouth expression throughout the entire movie, and the hero makes it seem like he is expending a huge amount of energy bleeding himself dry..uh, it doesn't take much effort to bleed, why the grunting and furrowed brow? He usually ends up in a fetal position anyways sooner or later. The general shooting at the organism with a pistol after it wasn't stopped with tanks, helicopters or anything else..this guy is a general and he can't figure this out? Another moron. Ugg, don't waste your time with this movie..it was pathetic, I mean really pathetic.