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castrate_elmo
Reviews
Urban Menace (1999)
Where's the barf bucket? Or a gun?
Wow, it never ceases to amaze me that someone can make so much money and then waste it. A prime example is funding this film. "Hey guys, let's get our rapper friends and make a movie with guns and stuff and us acting all hardass! It'll be fun!" This movie was obviously made so rap fans can sit in front of the TV with their friends and fake gold and see who doesn't get shot or blown up or both. Be sure to grab a barf bucket before you press play, or a gun...to either shoot yourself or the TV.
Road Lawyers and Other Briefs (1990)
All types of terrible
Now, I know that independent films aren't made to be Oscars, but they should at least be SOMEWHAT bearable. Corny lines can be funny when used sparingly and at the right moments, but when they are used to hold up the extremely weak foundation of the movie itself by being said every friggin minute, it just doesn't work out. At all. The only reason this isn't getting a 1 is due to the fake-lip-syncing getting about 3 chuckles out of me. The rest is just cinematic diarrhea...it's something no one wants or wants to see.