Reviews

What do you get if you cross Dolph Lundgren with a red shirt and a red car? A pretty good movie.

What's the main problem with this movie? It's not available on DVD/Blu Ray.

Why? Your guess is as good as mine. A movie that I've only heard about through a friend, repeated rants about why it should be on DVD and how it's such a good film, I must admit, I had my doubts. But with everything being on DVD these days, it's shocking and a sin, that this isn't. When literally everything these days is available – whether it be dead cheap, or hideously expensive – from your TV movies adapted from books, to your endless TV shows, the question should be, where is Joshua Tree's release? Is it because it comes from the same name as a U2 song? (Hence the name change to Army Of One in places, which makes very little sense.) The rights to this movie are probably floating around somewhere, just waiting for someone to snap them out, and give this film the true release it deserves.

From the opening shots, it starts as an almost peaceful movie. It's mainly set in a baking hot desert, and it stars the very wonderful, genuine-straight-up-tough-guy Dolph Lundgren, as Santee. When he's not speaking, Dolph just steals the film, even just by standing there. He's just driving along, when suddenly, something happens, and he's arrested for the murder of a patrolman. But he didn't do it, and is being set up. He escapes, and grabs a hostage, supposedly for her car, but I suppose she has other attributes that Santee plans to make use of. Kristian Alfonso makes a stereotypical female hostage role her own, by not only giving as good as she gets, but actually providing a lot of chemistry with Dolph. The scene where they are handcuffed together and lying in bed, was so sizzling, that I would have needed a cold shower afterwards.

The only grumble I have with Joshua Tree (and it's a tiny one I promise, and you probably won't notice it) is the storyline. Is that the best storyline in the world ever? No. Is it the worst storyline in the world ever? No. But it's nothing that we haven't all seen before. But I do think the film would have been a lot worse, if it hadn't had the delight of Dolph's on-screen presence. I mean, this guy has faced up to his old nemesis in The Expendables recently, and there's another reason why this film should be released.

The action in Joshua Tree is simply incredible. There's one particular scene where Dolph kills all these Chinese guys, who seem to be never ending, and seem to double in numbers every time two of them get killed. And boy, do they get killed! (The actors also make great use of their very short screen time by overacting their death scenes – it does have to been seen.) There are quite a few well known faces in this, from George Segal to Matt Battaglia (has appeared in every TV show going it seems from Baywatch, to Sabrina The Teenage Witch, to Friends – Phoebe's boyfriend Vince in TOW Ross's Thing – if you don't recognise the face, you'll recognise the voice.) But the only ones you really pay attention to are Dolph & Kristian.

Now, if someone can just cough up the money (literally) for this film to be re-released at the cinemas, and then have a major blu ray/DVD release, with plenty of extras, it would make my friend and me, very happy. And it would get a whole lot of other fans. So … cough up!!!

This is apparently the ideal movie to watch at Thanksgiving, according to the guy I watched with. Being from Scotland, we don't celebrate Thanksgiving, although I think we should - America looks like so much fun. And it's a great start to Christmas.

I've previously done a review for this. Looking back on it, it had to be deleted. Straight away. It was five lines long, so hopefully this one will be better.

I have to admit, this movie is better on a second watching. I can't remember really enjoying it the first time round as I did this time. I found myself giggling a lot more, but also, maybe I was feeling really emotional that night watching this, but I also ended up crying at a couple of points. It's actually, beneath all the funny moments, a really sad movie. The scene in the motel bedroom where Steve Martin's character points out all John Candy's bad points is utterly convincing, and that's the point I did start crying. John acted it really well, with his bottom lip quivering. But his comeback just makes it all the worse: "You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah, you're right, I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you... but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me; I'm not changing. I like... I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get." The other scene I started crying at, was when Del couldn't get a room at the motel, cos he only had $2, and a Casio watch, and he had to sit in the burnt out car. Talking to his wife who wasn't there. Yes I did cry again. It's such a sad movie.

But it's also hilarious. It's definitely one of Steve Martin's best movies, and he agrees it's his favourite movie of his own. He comes out with some absolute classic lines in this, but I'm not going to repeat them all here. If you've seen the movie, you know what they are. Roll on Christmas is all I can say after watching this movie, and now I want to start wrapping presents. Just hope I've still got someone to wrap presents for. Hehe. I love this movie. John Candy is brilliant, and him and Steve are like a modern Laurel & Hardy. He died too soon didn't he?

For some reason, I am obsessed with Betty Boop, so much so, that I get called Betty Boobs at work. I have recently began collecting the figurines, and have a bag, purse, dressing gown, beach towels - yeah it's bad.

But this isn't about me, this is actually about the first cartoon I've ever watched of Betty Boop. Previously, I've only seen her in Who Framed Roger Rabbit? where she was in colour. I bought a whole DVD, with 23 cartoons, and this was the first one I watched. It was a bit strange. First of all, I didn't realise they were done so long ago, they were in black & white, and there wasn't much laughs to be had. I don't think it was the right one to kick the DVD off either. The ending's the only really good bit, and some of the animation is slightly strange - she's constantly moving, what is the deal with that? Wouldn't it be easier to draw her standing still? But one down, 22 to go.

Only my second Betty Boop 'short' or 'cartoon', and so far I'm still not impressed. Maybe I only really liked her in Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Despite the fact she's barely more than a cameo.

This is another basic cartoon, although it's not quite what she normally does (singing and dancing). This time it's all about inventions - a pipe organ with pigs that blow into the tubes when they're squeezed, a hen that lays eggs which are then fried, and a sewing machine that runs amok, and sews everything up in sight. It's up to Betty & her friends to save the day. Why is she still moving when she should be still?!

I bought this originally for my Dad, but after being disappointed by two Betty Boop shorts, I decided to watch two Tom & Jerry's. Or so I thought. In the very first short, I'm greeted by Jasper (!) and Jinx (although not named as such in the short). "Jasper" looks much different to the Tom in later shorts. Tom ends up being a lot more scruffier, and dare I say it, almost evil! He's positively timid looking in this.

The story is basic Tom & Jerry/Jasper & Jinx, with Tom being threatened with being thrown out by his un-PC owner with the stripy socks (I remember those from childhood!) if he breaks another thing/makes a mess. So Jerry/Jinx get their revenge, and sets about throwing plates & glasses at the floor. It's mildly amusing, but predictable. Poor Tom/Jasper.

What I was hoping for in the director's cut of Payback is extended roles for Maria & Lucy. Lucy is absolutely hilarious in this film, with some great lines ("I need some satisfaction"), and her interaction with Porter ("I have a few minutes", "Go boil an egg") was just magnificent. There is some extension to the scene where Rosie & Porter meet up again, and she gets more of a part in the finale of the film. But Lucy definitely needed more of a role! Having watched both versions of Payback within the same day, I was shocked at how different they are. The original version of Payback is a lot darker, almost black & white in some parts, but this version keeps the colour. The beginning loses the opening of a doctor digging bullets out of Porter's back, and starts with him returning to the city, with no indication of a double-cross just yet until the flashback appears. It also appears to be cut together much better, and give the first few scenes a much quicker feeling. Porter no longer has a voice-over either. The scene with his wife is extended as well, leading to a more brutal confrontation, which leads more into him carrying her into the bedroom. Also, Porter the dog doesn't survive in this version. Big awww. The torture scenes are also cut from the film, and the boss's son who was originally going to get together with Rosie as his birthday present.

The finale is a load better, as in the old version, I did find myself getting bored, but the finale is more abrupt, and unexpected. Maria Bello gets a bigger role in the finale, although it does leave viewers hanging a bit, but I won't spoil it for anyone that hasn't seen it yet.

The only thing I'm gutted at is the low-class hooker, who Porter approaches when he's looking for Rosie, is completely cut from the film. Which is a shame, as she totally reminded me of the hooker from Pretty Woman that was Julia Robert's roommate. She's funny as well, despite the shortness of her scene.

Overall, I have to say I prefer the director's cut of Payback. Sometimes you find with some directors cuts, they tend to go a bit OTT, and keep in all the scenes which really weren't necessary, but this is well edited, and changing the finale was a really good idea. And seeing it in HD is well worth while too, if you can get your hands on it. I do like the idea of having it almost black & white, and I did miss it in this version. But it's well worth seeing if you want a different take on the film.

I bought this for the Gameboy Advance because a couple of years ago I watched my boyfriend play Grand Theft Auto, and the fact that he could hijack a taxi in that, and pick up passengers sounded quite entertaining to me. I got a GBA for my birthday, and ended up buying this.

Big mistake. I shouldn't be allowed in shops alone to buy GBA games, cos I choose rubbish! OK, the game was OK to start with. I figured out how to work it, despite having no instructions, and having my licence taken off me on my first go. I carried on, and 'completed' it within a couple of hours. Actually, I don't think there's any way you can complete it, but once you're the number 1 taxi driver out there, there's nowhere else for you to go.

The graphics are also terrible on the GBA, and I don't know why. I 'crashed' into walls & other drivers so many times simply because I couldn't work out where I was going. I had about a couple of inches away from my face most of the time, just so I could work out where I was going.

The training sessions, aren't worth the hassle of playing. They're pointless, and the only one I half managed to do was crash into balloons, and I still only managed 12 out of 20. It's impossible to achieve what is expected of you during the training.

I quickly became tired of this game, although I've kept going back to it, simply because the other game I've got for the GBA is getting on my nerves now. Which funnily enough also has a training session, but if you don't pass the training, then you don't get to play the rest of the game.

The game's also very repetitive. You pick up the same passengers at the same places, and take them to the same destinations. If you change how much traffic there is on the roads in the options, then you do take them to different places, but I found I couldn't pick up as many passengers within the time limit. I managed to pick up nearly 20, but then it started repeating the destinations.

Overall I would not recommend this game to anyone, unless it's very very cheap, which mine was. I like the style of the game, and would keep an eye out for similar styles of games, but not this.

I could finished this as soon as I was given it, since I started playing it straight away, but my boyfriend had other ideas. I managed to get to the fifth level (I think), before this arm came over my shoulder and switched it over. The next time I tried to play it, could I get past the fat police guy who had a gun?! Nooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!! And who are we blaming for that? I think I definitely prefer beat-em-up games (or racing, but I'm rubbish at them) to any other, cos if you're in a seriously bad mood, then you get to take all your frustrations out on this. I didn't use the special move button much - to be honest I forgot about it a lot - but it wasn't really necessary, as some simple punches were enough to get rid of the bad guys. Some, sure took a little longer, but they will eventually die.

What I do find bad with these games is the bad guys rarely change. Most of them are easy to dispose of, and it gets slightly boring when they come at you constantly. I hated the guys who looked like chavs (OK, so you Americans aren't gonna know that name - guys who wear hooded tops, hang around street corners, think they're hard, just to generalise it) with names like Jay & Billy I think? They were just too quick to move about for me, as I found it really difficult to move up or down, as the bad guys normally went the opposite way! I did manage to get to the last level of this game, but unfortunately got a game over before getting very far. I could have finished it on my first try, given half a chance though! I enjoyed the game, squealing every time I killed a bad guy, although it does get slightly repetitive. And I liked playing as Cody? He looked GOOD in those jeans! Did I mention I played it on the easiest (very easy) level? I tried the "easy" level, and struggled!

This game took me well over a month to complete, and there was a lot of swearing involved! I got a Gameboy Advance for my birthday, and I got a lend of this, as well as Final Fight. I played this nearly every day, picking it up, trying to get through a level, and then getting well and truly hacked off, and giving up. The game that is harder than this is Theme Hospital, which I have been playing since I first got a computer in the mid 90s, and STILL can't complete. I was just about giving up on this game, and when I went on holiday with someone who's an absolute genius with games :) I managed to get him to complete one bad guy level for me, and the finale.

Most of the levels I found reasonably easy, but it was always getting near to the end, just before I collected a password (some of which I had to put in so many times, I virtually memorised them!) that got me. It was always those that I failed miserably at, and the more I played them, the clumsier I got, and the more I failed.

The finale completely floored me though. It got me in such a bad mood, that I needed to go away and do something completely different just to get my mind off it. I frowned so much I'm probably going to need to a good session of Botox! The game got under my skin that much, that I was swearing, and at one point, crying with frustration that I couldn't get through it with the "patience" that was required. The computer genius eventually completed it for me on the plane home, but even he found it difficult, despite having completed it when I went to the toilet to kick something. I was extremely disappointed to find there was no high score bit at the end - I'd been keeping an eye on my score right the way through as well! I'd highly doubt I'd play this game again, despite enjoying it, it took it out of me that much. I didn't find it Xmassy at all like the previous reviewer mentioned. If James Pond ever gets mentioned to me again, expect to see me quaking with fear, and a nervous wreck at the thought of it.

This film was way ahead of its time. In this day and age, teenage suicides happen often, and appear in the press. This is a movie, set in the 80s, and really has a powerful effect on you. To start with, I was trying to figure out why the main character decided to kill himself. It never really says. But the movie concentrates more on what David's close friends feel on his suicide. The film focuses heavily on Keanu Reeves character, Chris. He features in some of the film's most powerful scenes, and although he plays his Ted character, goofy and gangly, he really acts his socks off. He also features in an almost painful crying scene.

There's a terrific song, which unfortunately isn't available. It's worked on throughout the film, but it really comes to light towards the end. It's called "Wishing On Another Lucky Star", performed by J.D. Souther.

This is a very powerful movie, although it didn't leave much of an effect on me. I was expecting it to leave me with something at the end of the movie, but this kinda movie has been done better in recent years - The Virgin Suicides for example.