Change Your Image
nathanloftis
Reviews
Live Free or Die Hard (2007)
Awful Awful Awful
I wouldn't contribute to this except to say it's the worst movie I've seen in a long long time. And that's taking into consideration that I wasn't excited about it going into the theater. This was consumerist America rearing its ugly head and saying "thank you sir, may I have another" to corporate Hollywood. This was not a film that should have been made. This was a banal cash-in by some studio execs counting on the national nostalgia about everything that happened in the 80's to come through for them, and like every other sad 80's exhumation, it seems to have paid off. I have lots of friends who still don't get why this is so bad. I rarely pay attention to movies this utterly horrible, but this one I did. Because I loved Die Hard and Die Hard with a Vengeance when I was a teenager. But this piece of trash was absolutely nothing like those movies. It had no plot, no backstory to any of the characters, including the main character, nothing whatsoever to link it to the other movies even for a desperate stab at borrowed value. It was, as the person who slept through most of the movie next to me said "porn for action junkies". And not even that good for porn.
Dog Day Afternoon (1975)
Supposed classic is actually rather dull
I was not alive in the seventies to see this movie the first time around. In 2002 when I did finally first watch part of it on video, I felt myself becoming more and more depressed about the world. The setting of the film, the pacing, the seemingly directionless progression of events, all seemed to leave a bitter, stale taste in my mouth. It was, in a way, fascinating to see Al Pacino at a much younger age than the movies I have always seen him in. And the dynamic of the crowd jeering during his scenes outside brought some energy to the film that began to interest me, but I turned it off, somewhere near three quarters of the way through the film, because frankly, it didn't entertain me enough. I still believe in Al Pacino as a great actor, but Dog Day Afternoon left me feeling as though I had wasted my time. My advice would be that you don't waste yours on it, despite rave reviews of so many self-important critics of the classics of movies.
Spooner (1989)
Broad audience TV movie about an ex-con doing the right thing
Spooner explores two very common genres in one. The ex-con who tries a different life, and discovers it can be worthwhile, as well as those cheesy teacher-student dramas that have been milked for so much emotional response during the 80's and some of the nineties. Worth watching with kids, this movie has good values and all, but really no depth of plot or character at all. Pretty standard friendly family fare. Reminded me of Hoosiers for some reason. Haven't seen it since I was in elementary school.