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Reviews
Get Out (2017)
Not What I Expected
I'm 91 movies into Parade Magazines list of 100 greatest movies. Get Out is #85 on the list, and was my 91st check off. Nothing about this movie was what I expected.
For starters, let me clarify by saying, I didn't really know what to expect. When I begin a film I don't read any reviews or synopsis beforehand so that I can go in with an open mind.
After the movie began to take form and I was beginning to piece everything together, my first thought was: this reminds me of The Skeleton Key. I see lots of other reviews making that same connection too.
It began to feel more and more like a rip off of The Skeleton Key as the movie progressed. So that was a bit of a disappointment to me.
For the record, I feel The Skeleton Key was better than Get Out. My disappointment stems from Get Out being hyped up as this great, original thriller, when it's not.
They are clearly not exact replicas. This movies main power aligns with the use of hypnotism, whereas The Skeleton Key is formatted around hoo-doo. However, I, like many others, felt the general premise was the same.
I did like the hypnotism premise though. It was sorta creepy and kept my interest.
However, for me, the movie really began losing my interest when it became clear everything was going to be deeply rooted in race.
It was honestly exhausting having to hear almost every scene make a reference to skin color. It added nothing to the storyline at all.
In fact no reason was even given as to why black people were specifically being targeted. When Chris asks Hudson, "why black people," he shrugs and gives an iteration of, "I don't know."
So why make that the main theme of the movie at all? I think we all know the answer to that question...
Equally disappointing are all the other questions we're left with that are also unanswered. Like, what was up with the weird Bingo scene? Chris finds a box full of pictures of other black men Rosie entrapped, but we are never told what's happened to them. What exactly did the camera flash do? Because if it wakes them up, why did "Grandpa" kill himself? And why all of a sudden did "Gramma" become so different? Georgina could barely formulate a sentence the whole movie, but after she gets run over she's screaming paragraphs at Chris.
So, is this as great as all the hype? I would say no. Was it a bad film? I would also say no, but it isn't particularly good or special either in my opinion.
Boogie Nights (1997)
Filthy Garbage
Why does this have such a high rating? Surely it must just be because of the names attached to it, because the actually movie is trash.
There's nothing interesting or entertaining about it. I kept wondering when it was going to be over.
The only reason I even entertained the idea of watching this raunchy movie was because it's so highly rated and lauded as one of the greatest films. Don't believe the hype! There's nothing great here.
I knew the movie was about the porn industry, but honestly they should've just called it a porno. Let's just call a spade a spade here. I had to look away several times for the sex and violence.
It's filthy, it's disturbing, and truly repulsive. Not to mention there's no real story here. Those involved in this movie should truly be ashamed of themselves.
The only common theme taken away from this movie was that the people working in the porn industry are miserable and their lives are empty and in shambles.
But this movie was billed as a "comedy" not a cautionary tale. Either way, it's 2 1/2 hours of my life wasted. If you value your time, don't bother with this hideous movie.
Mulholland Dr. (2001)
True Rubbish
Yet again I am here reviewing a "top 100" film that was absolute crap. This movie was awful. It's slow, it's boring, it's unintentional, and it's not clever. It's a hodge podge of what could've been a great story/plot and some extra crap they threw in just because. The worst part is, I wanted to like it. I was actually excited to watch it at first. I was sold on a story about an amnesiac searching for the truth in her identity. The first 30 to 40 minutes of this movie was alright, but everything goes downhill from there. The plot falls apart after that quickly. In the end, all I was left with was disgruntled feelings and anger that I wasted 2 1/2 hours on this film.
El laberinto del fauno (2006)
Upsetting
I was on the fence altogether about watching this movie, but it has made a list of "100 Greatest" movies I'm currently writing my way through. It was a free option to watch on Tubi, so I figured I would go ahead and check it off my list. I'm so sorry that I didn't listen to my gut and skip it. The violence and cruelty of the film was more than I cared to endure. I was left feeling disturbed after watching the events of this movie take place. I understood this to be a fantasy film, but it felt more like a horror. The darkness of the themes were much more than I anticipated. The characters left me feeling unsettled and unclean.
2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
Trash, Pointless, and Insulting
I don't believe that anyone actually likes this movie. I think that people were told this is a good movie, and that too many people are afraid to go against the grain and call a spade a spade. This movie is tripe. There's not a story here. It's one giant acid trip. There are no characters, no climax, no real ending because there was also no beginning. Kubrick is a fraud and has accomplished nothing short of a resume of crappy films. Anytime sometime recommends a Kubrick movie to me I cringe, because history has shown me his work is crap. This is no exception. The "critics" can praise the movie as genius all they want, but for those of us who wasted 2 1/2 hours watching this absolutely overrated, pile of crap, we don't agree!
Christmas Together (2020)
Couldn't Focus on Anything, It was all Horrendous
Those ugly, clearly fake, glasses just about did me in. It's obvious there were no lenses in them. Why even bother, other than to push some stupid stereotype that he's a "nerdy doctor." Makes me want to throw up.
Everything was so hollow. The acting, the story, the characters. Gross. It actually was so bad, it made me angry.
The only somewhat likeable character was Vivica Fox's, Deb.
I didn't finish the movie, so I have no idea how it ended, but I can take a pretty good guess.
I resent the mass production of unlikeable, meaningless, Christmas movies. Substance is what we want, not bilge...
Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)
Overrated, Underwhelming Monstrosity
If you're looking for any substance, this movie isn't for you. The characters are hollow, there's very little story/script, and truthfully the movie was somewhat confusing (weird flashbacks with no context?). However, if all you care about is car chases, explosions, and killing, with no real context, then this is exactly what you want to see. I don't know why this is so lauded. It's two hours of mindless drivel. The bulk of the movie is the main characters trying to escape the lives they hate so much, whilst being chased by many different styles of gangs. But, right towards the end, they decide to go back to the city they fled, and when they return everything is magically better simply because they killed a couple bad guys. Give me a break 🙄
Wo hu cang long (2000)
Cheesy, Boring, and Overrated
I'm giving this such a low rating mainly because it came so highly recommend, yet failed to deliver anything that was redeemable.
For starters, the martial arts sequences were completely watered down when the filmmakers decided to turn everyone into Peter Pan. Like many others who didn't like this movie, I couldn't help but roll my eyes and grumble loudly. It comes across as very childish and just unbelievable.
Additionally, the story was weak. It jumped around a lot with the flashbacks and between two different love stories. I wouldn't preferred they focused on the story of the stolen sword.
Also, the main character, Jen, is nothing more than a spoiled brat. I felt nothing but disdain towards her and was hoping they'd kill her off in a fight.
The fact that this drug out for two hours was just one slap in the face too many. This movie is stupid. Not sorry.
Bridesmaids (2011)
Overrated, Wasn't Worth the Watch
I just got around to watching Bridesmaids this year. I avoided it, and typically avoid movies like it, because I don't find them funny. The only reason I finally watched it, was somehow this flop of a movie made a list of 100 Greatest Movies of All Time (barely, it was #100). I've been making my way down said list, and finally decided to check this one off. It was exactly what I expected; utterly unfunny and painful to watch. It was embarrassing at times. The way the just kept dragging the scenes on and on made it unlikeable. Literally the only likeable character was Rhoades. And in the end I just felt sorry for him that he ended up with such a tool.
Django Unchained (2012)
Rubbish.
I really don't see how anyone could be a fan, but some people love it. I personally hated it. The glorification of violence, which really seems to be the only card up Tarantino's sleeve, was incredibly unnecessary. The ketchup blood squirts were reminiscent of any below average, D grade, slasher film of your choice. Even more troubling are the blatantly reinforced stereotypes. In spite of that, I was still hanging onto this ridiculously long melodrama because of the dynamic relationship between Django and the doctor. However, that too was ruined by horrible script writing. I wish I could say I didn't see it coming, but it was incredibly transparent. I am curious though, how can one be so betraying to ones own character within the span of an hour or so? In one breath the doctor is a man of wisdom and restraint; he knows the limits of his work. Yet, towards the end, he throws it all away citing that he just couldn't help himself. What a waste of a good character. All in all, I would not recommend, nor would I sit through this painful flick again.
Funny Thing About Love (2021)
Mediocre Movie
So the movie is a waste of time. I find nothing particularly interesting about the plot or the characters. However, I want to know who designed these sets and costumes. I have never seen uglier clothing and furniture in my life. The giant ugly cheetah print chair, which just so happens to be sitting right in front of the sofa, in the center of the room. The women's clothing is painfully hideous. I was so distracted by the ugly shoes and outrageous color and pattern choices, that I really wasn't paying attention to the story. It felt so cold and unnatural watching them in the settings they were in, looking the way they looked. They didn't even appear friendly with one another. It just feel like strangers having an awkward weekend together.
Breakfast at Tiffany's (1961)
Not Much of a Story
I want to preface this by noting that I love classic film. I have been working my way through a list of several films that have been acclaimed as, "The Greatest Films of All Time."
With that being said, I was excited to watch Breakfast at Tiffany's. I have heard gushing reviews for years about the brilliance of this film.
Unfortunately, to me, that connection is not there. The best part of the movie is the cat, who doesn't even have a name.
I found Holly to be extremely predictable and exhausting. She made me incredibly angry when she abandoned the cat at the end. Though she did retrieve him, it was not a redeeming moment for me still.
Paul was a fool to even bother with Holly. He seemed way too intelligent to even bother with her nonsense. I can't see how they would end up together.
All in all, I found it to be overrated. I couldn't find anything moving to take away from it unfortunately.
The Client List (2011)
Completely Missed the Mark
I thought that the movie was pretty good, so I figured why not give the show a try. I could not stop rolling my eyes at how ridiculous it was. I found myself not feeling bad for Riley at all, but was actually annoyed by her. The whole romance with her BIL was BEYOND CRINGEWORTHY. I was also incredibly annoyed at how she started dressing around her family, kids included, but no one even suspected what she was doing? She went from suburban mom to call girl real quick. Get real! Someone starts making the kinds of changes she was and people ask questions. There wasn't even an implication via rumor. Lastly the resurfacing of her husband left me confused. I thought the story was better without him (minus the creepy BIL stuff). Last I remembered he was having an affair, had a drug addiction, and skipped the country. I felt very little was actually said about all that, even after he returned. Waste of time, especially since it got cancelled.
The Greatest Show on Earth (1952)
A Wonderful Show
If you've never wanted to run away and join the circus, this movie will inspire you to! The beautiful scenery, costumes, and performances are outstanding! Heston dominates the screen, I couldn't take my eyes off him. Gloria Grahame and Jimmy Stewart other personal favorites of mine. It's huge and campy and I loved every second of it.
The Ladies Man (1961)
The Most Unfunny Movie To Ever Exist
Don't waste your time. It's the worst attempt at comedy I've ever seen. Not a single thing made me laugh. I think Lewis played the exact same character, using the exact same "gags," in every single one of his movies. No originality or storyline. Garbage.
The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962)
Arguably, the Greatest Western of All Time
There's not a thing about The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance that I don't love.
John Wayne and Jimmy Stewart play perfect opposites. Wayne plays the typical brute, yet endearing, cowboy, and Stewart, the underdog, but a true fighter for law and order.
Stewart soon learns that the West has yet to be tamed, as we watch him battle between his beliefs and very survival.
When all is said and done we are left with two heroes, with very different purposes. Wayne, who knew that giving up all he loved was for the greater good of his community, and Stewart, who can finally create the law and order he long desired to uphold. A true classic!