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Reviews
3 Body Problem (2024)
Boring, boring
I am not sure where is the problem. Either Chinese storytelling is too different from Western storytelling or it is a bad adaptation of a great book, or the book is outright boring too (I didn't read it, and from what I have seen in this show, there is no chance I will). The show pace is very slow. It is supposed to be about an alien invasion, but there is little or no hint of the supposed aliens. Even the science is flawed, something I can stand if the storytelling is great (yeah, there is not such a thing like a Death Star, but who cares?...).
This is the second recent show I have seen about an alien invasion with little or no aliens and a poor script. I hope it will improve. Writers should stop trying to do scripts for a very small subset of the viewers, and focus more on doing enjoyable shows.
'Salem's Lot (2004)
Can't stand a chance against the 1979 version
I had high hopes for this one. After all, the cast was great, you can do better special effects in 2004 and the formula for success was already known (even some scenes of the original version were played back in The Simpsons).
Then they did it. Characters were mostly bland, there is no sense of terror anytime in 3 hours, there is some nonsense on the house which comes back ever and ever.... And the vampire! Come on! The vampire of the original version was the best since Nosferatu. A real fearsome contraption. Now it is RH, which looks more fearsome in an action movie as a commando or a terrorist than as a vampire.
Definitely, I hope that the upcoming movie is way better than this one.
The School for Good and Evil (2022)
A bad Harry Potter reversion
This movie is like a bad Harry Potter movie made for TV. Instead of the four houses, there are two. Of course, there is a bad wizard who's coming back from the death, and different classes with different teachers. But this is where the similitude ends. The brilliant HP stories and characters are replaced by a reversion of the typical US High School movies, but instead of (wherever) High it happens in the school of good and evil...
Don't waste your time. Go for the originals. If you like magic movies for kids, get HP. If you like high school movies, there are plenty more entertaining.
And the worst part is that Netflix seems to have spent a good deal of money for this movie. Wasted money, I think...
Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022)
Don't waste your time
I watched this movie because it had a score of 6+, but it ended up being a waste of time and energy (for my TV). Endless discussions between a group of teenagers which seem to have the IQ of a snail. Boring to the bones. At the end you would wonder why they didn't all die in the first two minutes and save us of the boredoom.
The script is, to say at least, confusing. Characters are poorly defined and take every possible bad decision. Half of the killings were out of their own stupidity.
I have watched several similar movies. A bunch of teens confined somewhere they can't run from (well... there is always a way, but it would take some brain to do it). Usually these teens are far from being smart, but this bunch is the worst.
Deus (2022)
Pretty lame film
OK. So we have to be realistic... SciFi films don't exactly must be scientifically accurate (yeah.. Darth Vader isn't real, right?). But at least show some coherence. A sphere is found in Mars orbit in a future far enough to hibernate people and wake them back, and build a really big ship with artificial gravity, then they took 8 months to reach Mars? I am pretty sure SpaceX will do better in a few years... And using hibernation for an 8 months trip in such a large ship with a handful of crewmates? Are you kidding me?
Cast was fairly good, and I am sure they spent a good deal of money in this film, yet the script is poor, to say at least. Don't waste your time as I wasted mine.
Men (2022)
Don't waste your time
This movie is so boring that even trying to explain why it is a challenge. Music, story, direction... everything is so terrible that I regret the over one hour of my time I lost watching it.
If you think in watching it, think again. If you still feel like watching it, bang your head until it passes... Find something else to do with your time, like watching a movie worth it.
Moonfall (2022)
A fair idea, a terrible execution
This movie is a piece of garbage. The premise is somewhat unbelievable (OK... it is Sci Fi, and Darth Vader doesn't exist either, but we DO know that there is no such a thing as a hollow Moon...), but let's take it... Then, the way to do something about it is to send people with an EMP weapon in a defunct Space Shuttle which doesn't even have a launch pad anymore? Was it really necessary? Unbelievable premise, and incoherent development... Come on, with this kind of money and this same cast I am sure someone could have done a fairly good movie, even keeping the (already known wrong) premise of the hollow Moon....
Invasion (2021)
How do you make a boring alien invasion TV show
Come on! Apple has the pockets to produce a great and entertaining series about an alien invasion. But this one looks like scripted and produced in the Soviet Union. Only a few ETs more or like like small blobs, without any technology or way to travel to Earth, no motivation, no big retaliation from mankind. Just deserted cities and some dead people and that's it. A Japanese engineer which is trying to talk to her dead lover on a decompressed spaceship, made more like a 50's cheap movie set than a credible 21st century Japanese space vehicle to take three astronauts to the ISS takes hours of screen time. A soldier trying to fly from Afghanistan to USA after loosing all his platoon just to see his wife, which he has no idea if she will be home or not.
There are even continuity problems. The first episode shows a small town cop killed by a kind of weird critters hidden in the sand, totally disconnected from the remaining of the boring 10 episodes...
Don't waste your time. Apple guys, if you want to do a proper TV drama, at least get a decent script.
G-Loc (2020)
Worst edition in... like ever?
Several scenes of the movie seem to be incomplete. Either the script is rubbish or the edition cut the wrong parts. Even if the parts missing aren't mandatory to understand the plot, they are part of the storytelling.