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Cementerio del terror (1985)
A Mexican Horror Gem
Forget all the commentaries trashing this movie. This here is a Mexican horror classic. Ask yourself this, how many terrible American horror movies are out there? Gimme a break. Mexican films usually have low budgets, don't go big time on the silver screen or gain huge notoriety around the world. Especially not in the horror genre. Name a Mexican horror film. Just one. Exactly. Horror films aren't meant to win Oscars unless it's intelligent like Rosemary's Baby. This is just a fun film to watch. C'mon, it's 80s horror! That means tight blue jeans, white sneakers, horny teens getting killed, silly hairdos and wardrobe! Sleepaway Camp is one of the champs in this area.
The plot is 3 college females are asked by their boyfriends to attend a flashy high profile party and they are tricked into going to an abandoned house on a cemetery on Halloween night. They find a book and decide to steal a corpse which happens to be of a demonic murderer who happens to be the owner of the book. They reanimate the corpse through a spell and all hell breaks loose.
This film has elements from Halloween:The demonic killer was attended to by the doctor which is after him and is rebellious towards cops and never fails to talk about how the killer is the devil and must be stopped. Very Mexican Halloween. It doesn't hurt that the movie is on Halloween as well. The only problem here is that Hugo Stiglitz should've been the demonic killer. Ha ha. I love Hugo Stiglitz, he's one of my favorites and has a hell of a voice and presence, but he's known to play villains not heroes. It has an Evil Dead element in that they find a book of dead just like the Necronomicon and wakes the demons in the cemetery. These are the 2 movies that the movie combines into a great formula.
The cast like any horror movie in any country isn't all that great.The teens cast in the movie are weak and may spoil some of the fun but Stiglitz is awesome as usual and whether it's a horror or comedy that he's in, he never fails to take his roles seriously. You should see Stiglitz doing comedy movie villains, his level of seriousness is rock solid and he takes this role just as serious. The killer isn't very scary, but the soundtrack is just sweet. It has one of the creepiest piano tunes in all of horror and I remember this movie by that eerie piano tune.
Check this movie out and watch it at night. It's only $7 at Best Buy and it comes with Ladrones de Tumbas (Graverobbers) as a two pack for a cheap price. You might or might not like it, but if you appreciate how the producer wants to entertain you with what he has to work with you won't be disappointed. The movie doesn't rip you off.
Terror Train (1980)
Could've Been So Much Better
I don't like the 10 stars rating. I would've just given this a 3 out of 5 cause it looks so much better than a 6 out of 10, but oh well. Personally I love a movie like this. It's one that I can watch on a cold night and feel the atmospheric feel of the movie. That's the one thing that it has going for it for it's running time. It feels like a dark horror movie and it's creepy as hell to be in this situation especially if you're claustrophobic. It just seems awesome to be on a train full of buddies, but throw in a killer and that narrow spaced train doesn't seem to pleasant. Those are the elements that help this movie.
Missing is the creepy music. Jamie Lee is synonymous with horror, but she should've also been synonymous with a John Carpenter soundtrack here as well. A soundtrack is so underrated. It can make a big difference in a movie. Halloween is scary for it's dark atmosphere which Terror Train has. The Mask in this movie could've been as scary as Michael Myers' Captain Kirk mask but missing is the soundtrack. Imagine this movie with a soundtrack like Halloween and I'd bump it 2 stars. It just had so much potential. Jamie Lee carries this movie and Copperfield looks as scary as the masked killer. The guy looks like a freak in this movie with his sinister and uneasy look. The death scenes are great here too. The ending is too predictable as well, since the beginning of this movie gives away who the killer is. You just have to keep an eye and guess who it is amongst the passengers.
I love this movie, but I admit it's not the best horror movie out there nor is it jump out of your seat scary either. The masked killer could easily scare a child and I guess that's where the horror is. Horror movies are scarier when you're a kid with imagination. As an adult this just isn't scary but it's a pleasure and fitting to watch on a cold dark night.
It (1990)
Screw "IT"!!! Pun intended
I've seen "It" many times and I'm tired how people always over rate this movie as one of the all time scariest. I admit that I love the first part of this film. The second half could've been great but the final confrontation is just so terrible and a major let down. Clowns are scary to many people but in the end it just doesn't pay off. It just completely dumps the clown concept for arachnophobia instead. Very stupid. I love Stephen King's horror movies but have you ever noticed people like Stanley Kubrick and Brian De Palma made better adaptations of his books in movies than King ever did? Just compare De Palma's Carrie to King's version, or better yet, Kubrick's Shining to King's. I'll just wait till someone does a better version of "It". If you want to check out a great horror movie that exploits the fear of clowns, check out "Clownhouse" instead. It's a lot more comparable in atmospheric realness and credibility to Halloween. It is more fantasy horror and that just isn't scary. "Clownhouse" is a shorter movie, works for it's scares and does't cheat the viewer for 3 hours with a lousy ending like "It".
Clownhouse (1989)
The Best Clown Related Horror Movie Ever Made
Like my title says, it's the best horror movie involving clowns ever made. Screw Stephen King's "It". That movie is completely overrated and has way too much made for TV feel about it. In "I" Pennywise the clown maybe be scary to many, but he was a big stupid spider out of a fantasy world that was defeated by some rock thrown out of a sling shot. This movie "Clownhouse" is right up there with Halloween in the "worst fears" department. This movie has real terror attached to it, unlike "It" which is way too fantasy for my taste.
This movie scared me since I didn't expect much of it and got a pleasant surprise. I watched this alone at night when I was 12 and happened to rent it at a video store. Just don't think about the back story of the director and the child protagonist in this movie and you should be OK. Enjoy this movie for what it is. Anyone's fear of clowns is well exploited here, it has atmospheric creepiness, an eerie soundtrack, and a simple to follow storyline to it that could happen. Everything you want in a horror movie can be found here. That's what makes it creepy. Horror is always better when the plot can actually happen in real life if you lived in a small town like the one in this movie. Horror isn't some guy getting shot over and over and coming back to life countless of times, or villains appearing in nightmares in a fantasy world, or flying creeper creatures, or anything of that sort. Horror is anything that could happen and this has it all. Watch it in the dark, on a cold or stormy night, popcorn and a soft drink and you're all set to have a great one with this movie. Screw "It", Clownhouse is far superior.
The Wailer (2006)
A Mixed Bag
First of all let me just say that I'm glad to be writing only the second critique of this film, so I know that it'll be read somehow. I have to agree with a lot of the things the first viewer that posted thought of this movie. I've been a huge fan of this old Mexican legend and always thought it was creepy and hair raising. I live in Laredo, which is a border town to Mexico, and in between is the Rio Grande, so I've heard plenty of stories about La Llorona. There's plenty of versions about her legend but this one nails the more commonly heard version. I'm gonna give you the positives and negatives of this film so here goes:
The Bad
This film drags for the first 45 minutes. And I mean it drags. The introduction of the film is solid and explains the origins to a minimal extent but it covers what you need to know about La Llorona's origin. After that the movie is slow paced. Here's the story. You have two out three horny couples go to Mexico to have a good time on their vacation. While they're eating they are attended to at their table by a Mexican guy,who informs them that all the hotel rooms are booked but he has this one private cabin that is nice but is out in the middle of nowhere. So they stupidly listen. Believe me, this guy would never be able to sell me a used car but he convinces these three couples to go to the cabin anyway. You're not gonna feel sorry for these people cause of they way they so foolishly accepted this poor guy's offer.
The production quality of La Llorona is like one of those late night Cinemax erotica Shannon Tweed movies. It's low budget, and has that trashy b movie feel to it. The acting is lousy, but c'mon this is horror. Horror movies weren't intended to win Oscars for best picture or best acting unless it's an intelligent film like Rosemary's Baby. There's nothing new here in the acting that you haven't seen already. The main protagonist makes you like her cause she's the good girl of the film and so is her couple. That's were the clichés start. Remember it's horror so there's clichés in every horror movie. There's the black cat that pops out to give you the cheap scare. The sudden music. The idiot black guy who just won't shut up and manages to cram and utter every slang word imaginable. There's the horny couple and the overly horny couple. I found most of those characters to be annoying and you sure don't feel sorry for them. At the beginning there's the mysterious drunk old man who warns people of the legend. Pretty much like that old guy in the Friday the 13th movies. The clichés are all there. Absolutely nothing happens within the first 40 minutes after the intro. There's isn't much of a soundtrack to this movie and I thought the movie suffered because of this. It deserved to have a creepy Carpenter like soundtrack. Anything with a creepy piano tone would've done the trick. That's the bad about this film.
The Good
The three females in this movie are downright gorgeous, I have to say that. When the title character makes her presence is an awesome terrifying experience. What I loved about this movie is that you rarely see her. In the shots that you do, there's just quick momentary shots. You see her for seconds and never longer than a minute. I loved that about this film. I don't like to see my killers over exposed. That's why the Freddy and Jason sequels were terrible. You don't want to see Freddy crack jokes before he kills someone in the Nightmare sequels. What made the first movie great is that he was just quiet and killed. Same here. There is no overexposure from La Llorona. What I had said about the production quality of this film isn't just bad but it helps when the movie picks up. I love the low budget feel to a horror movie. I hate the clean new film of the Scream type movies of the new generation. I always preferred the old feel of the Halloween movies and that's what La Llorona has going for it when the movie is clicking on all it's horror cylinders. She is scary as hell and the murder scenes aren't too creative but effective and gruesome. The effects and make up are well done for a low budget film.
This movie is a mixed bag. I have to rate this a 6. It's not a bad horror movie but you have to really withstand the first 40 minutes of this film. If you make it after the first 40, I assure you that you will be rewarded. Like the other person said, view this with a good quality sound system, or just turn the volume up. I suggest viewing this at night with the volume up to get the best pop out of it. It'll supply a good scare and you'll enjoy this movie a lot more. It's atmospheric just like the Evil Dead movies were with people trapped in a cabin. I may have given this movie a 6 but believe me, it's a very solid 6. I would love to see this movie edited and add some creepy music to it.
Prom Night (1980)
Disappointing
I'm a big horror fan and I have always heard good things about Prom Night. That it's one of the classics and it is mentioned as one of the Jamie Lee Curtis scream queen classics. Ha ha please. I love Jamie Lee Curtis but never was she ever stalked in this film, thus not making her any kind of scream queen in this film.
The points I liked in this movie: The creepy beginning, the old camera of this film (I love "old" horror movies, they have a more creepier atmosphere to them, I hate new cameras), the insanely creepy phone calls. The voice and whispers of the phone calls are just disturbing and also when he is killing victims he speaks with that voice. Then the rest of the movie tanked it...here's why.
The movie dragged, there were no murders throughout the film. Everything was saved for the end, and when you reach the end you get hit with insane amounts of disco music. I personally do not like to see my murderers on screen. I prefer that they remain mysterious and anonymous till the very end. If your gonna show your killer please make him scary. This murderer was too skinny, dressed in black and just wearing a plain black mask with two holes in the eyes. Just stupid. I hated that. the decapitation was great but that final scene at the prom just reeked of Carrie. So everyone runs for the hills when they see the decapitated head, and the disco is STILL on and Jamie Lee, her boyfriend in this movie and the killer are fighting to disco music. That was that. The icing on this mess is the revelation that the killer is Jamie Lee's brother in the movie. In the flashback it just simply shows you that her brother witnessed the murder at the beginning sequence of the movie. Just lame. I was really expecting just a good solid horror movie but this just didn't do it for me.
I gave this movie points for atmosphere and Jamie Lee Curtis. The rest of it is a bomb.
Kickboxer 4: The Aggressor (1994)
One of my favorites
I like this movie as cheesy as people may think it is. C'mon what did you expect out of Sasha Mitchell? An Oscar performance? these are the types of movies that your dad will watch on the action channel or just find at the local Wal Mart in some bargain bin. These movies aren't expected to rake in some bank at the box office so get over it. They're supposed to be down to earth bad. You're a fool if you expect something like this to be very good.
There's a lot of action in this movie, and a lot of fighting. The plot is as simple as it gets, infiltrate the enemy base as a world fighter who's invited to a tournament avoid getting seen and rescue your wife from the nemesis. For those who trashed the movie Double Dragon, ha ha Kickboxer 4 would've made for a nice Double Dragon replacement. It's a far better movie with the same kind of story as in the video game.
Tong Po spits out one of my favorite lines of all time in this movie. It's when he says and the way he says, "One MILLION Dolla!!!" LOL Seriously every time my friend and I are gonna attempt a 3 point shot from somewhere, or a long shot in basketball, try to touch a high point and jump, we always refer to Tong Po's "One Million Dolla!" line. Priceless. Tong Po takes the beating of his life at the end of this film. Loved it.
Street Fighter (1994)
Embarrassing
I remember the day I went to go see this movie. I was a high school sophomore who just loved the video game. I was excited at the idea that this film was being made, even with Van Damme in it's starring role. I thought it made no sense that he'd be playing Guile the American, but oh well. I was so pumped and excited to finally see this movie. It was almost that feeling that Star Wars geeks get at new Star Wars premiers and then.....the movie started. Ha ha, oh man this movie was just so terrible in it's live action format. The characters were poorly embodied by their actors. They weren't dead on either. Doctor Dhalsim? Gimme a break! This movie is just awful. I remember the theater being packed and as the movie kept going I just started to slouch and hide in my seat. I was just embarrassed to be watching this fiasco of a movie. The acting is terrible, the plot is terrible, everything is a mess. I just couldn't wait for it to end. When it did, I just wanted to get the hell out of the theater as soon as possible so that no one I knew would know I just sat through that movie. Avoid this movie at all costs. Mortal Kombat 1 is a far superior movie to this garbage and takes it's approach a lot more serious. Street Fighter doesn't amuse or entertain or even make you laugh, it just deserves to get flushed down the toilet. Street Fighter 2 the Animated Movie is a lot better and their characters are identical to those of the video game. No ridiculous flipping kicks by Van Damme either. A 1 out of 10. Just hated this movie and it just doesn't do justice to the video game.
The Last Broadcast (1998)
A Blown Save!
You can never mention this movie without mentioning Blair Witch Project. The two just go hand in hand. First of all you have to go into this movie expecting a documentary style film. Even if BWP is the same in it's approach, it is obviously creepier than Broadcast. The only thing creepy about Broadcast is maybe David Leigh's voice and that music that plays once in a while during the middle to last parts of the film. You know what music I mean. The film drags a lot I have to admit. Most of this film is about Suard, is he the killer or not? That got pretty boring fast. The ending is just so terrible. the film falls apart because of it. Like a baseball game, this film had a good lead and the closer comes in and blows the game instead of saving it. The film is a documentary and at the end where Leigh is revealed as the killer the camera changes perspective. Completely stupid move. Also the film where Leigh is revealed looks so poor and fake. It should've looked as old as the tape did to where you can make out it's Leigh, not have such a perfect B movie looking clear shot of him. Just a horrible ending to a solid movie. Stick with Blair Witch. It might've been made after Last Broadcast but it definitely didn't let me down like this film did with it's ending. Like the others said, it just tanks it at the end and robs you the viewer of a deserving ending. The concept of Leigh being the killer was good but the revelation and ending was just so poorly executed.
Fright Night Part 2 (1988)
A Decent Sequel
Fright Night 2 is a good sequel. It picks up after Fright Night 1 and acknowledges all of it's events. That's what you like in a sequel, not one that ignores it's predecessor. I thought this film was OK. Charlie and Peter definitely carry this movie on their charm alone. They just make such an explosive duo. It's atmospheric like the first movie but I just don't think it's as good as the first and that's mainly because of the absence of Jerry Dandridge. Of course knowing the outcome of Fright Night 1, he doesn't make it to the sequel, but Jerry was THE ultimate vampire. He was just the embodiment of what a vampire is supposed to be. Handsome, tall, smooth, classy, and just all out evil when transformed. I just didn't buy the whole female head vampire and that's what hurt this film. The heroes are there, but without a wicked villain, you just can't get behind the good guys the same way. Fright Night 1 was just perfect, the vampire that lives right next to you in a scary house. That's a lot better, I didn't buy the atmosphere in Fright Night 2. It's a very good sequel nonetheless considering that sequels aren't supposed to be good.
Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)
A Classic Horror Sequel
I am a huge fan of the horror genre and have always preferred Jason over the comical Freddy Nightmare movies or Micahel Myers' stale franchise. People seem to always knock sequels of any genre but this sequel is one the best in any genre not just horror. It picks up after part 1 and it doesn't suffer from continuity problems as far as the storyline is concerned. In my opinion Friday the 13th is all about parts 1-4. But part 2 is just awesome all around. It has the same creepy atmosphere that part 1 and is topped by one of the greatest endings in horror cinema. The endings to part 1 and 2 in this series are some of the best. They just seem to go so well hand in hand. Friday 2 has always been my favorite in the entire series. As you all know it marks Jason's debut, and what's kind of sad is that Jason is identified with the hockey mask and his best movie is with the sack over his head. This one is a much more credible movie. It doesn't have a supernatural Jason who looks like a monster. He's a lot more human here and not so robotic. I love watching this movie on a breezy or stormy night. It's just a perfect slasher film. People should know that the horror genre especially the slasher kind are never going to win Oscar nominations, awards or have it's cast members win em either. Horror movies are a special treat of their own and Friday the 13th Part 2 is Jason's murderous rookie of the year foray into horror films. This movie is horror gold. From Jason's mother's head in the fridge, to the crash through the window classic ending. If it doesn't get a 10 from me, it's only because nothing is ever perfect.
Barbarella (1968)
Weird
I don't know how to rate this movie to tell you the truth but I wanted to see this film because my friend wouldn't shut up about about how beautiful Jane Fonda was in this movie. I never cared much for Fonda and all of the more recent things I've seen her do which are having fitness videos and sitting at Braves games with Ted Turner, but WOW! She is truly drop dead gorgeous in this film. The opening scene is just a gift. The whole movie is cheesy and campy but that's what this movie is. Don't expect something that's Oscar worthy. The movie was ahead of it's time in a way, and there are a lot of sexual jokes within this movie. It's just a different type movie and that's what I like about it. There's nothing quite like this. I don't care much about the other actors. Law is a stiff actor and no one else really catches my attention. For me this film is having Jane Fonda as eye candy and I loved it. She's gorgeous. The soundtrack is cheesy as well but it's OK. The only thing that is just totally left field about this movie is the doll scene. I just never thought I'd see something like that in this film and it gives me the creeps to remember that scene. I'm a horror fan myself and that scene is just as creepy as it gets. I liked it but I have to say it's one weird movie.
Madman (1981)
Scariest Movie Ever!
Just kidding, I just had to post that title cause everyone does it. This is a little cult classic of a horror movie that I saw as a kid and loved. It really scared me when I was young and never saw it again. I remembered this horror movie's existence and ordered it from an FYE and got it a week later for like 6 bucks. After viewing it again, I agree it's not frighteningly scary at all but is creepy and definitely enhances the entertainment value and horror if you watch it at night. I personally love slasher flicks and especially those of the Friday the 13th mold. The Madman character is a little too cartoonish, but damn he can give Jason a run for his money. It's definitely good b movie horror though. You gotta understand that movies like this are low budget so don't expect out of this world horror. It's just good to watch on a night with some popcorn and a soft drink. I recommend this rare gem to die hard horror fans only.
Super Troopers (2001)
Very Overrated and Overly Hyped
I've seen Super Troopers like 7 times now since I somehow manage to be at someone's place where it is playing. It never changed for me from the 1st time to the 7th. I bought this movie just to give it one last chance and it just didn't do it for me. It's an entertaining rental and it has plenty of wit, but I felt like I was watching one huge sketch instead of a movie. I read all these reviews, and always hear people at work talk about how funny it is and seriously, I don't know what the big fuss is all about. This movie is over-hyped and definitely overrated as a comedy. It's OK but no it's not pee in your pants funny so calm down. It doesn't top Caddyshack or Animal House whatsoever. Super Troopers is a good movie to watch with your friends and have a few laughs but it's just average at best, it's not hilarious like everyone claims it to be. I appreciate Broken Lizards work and attempts to make a comedy but all these things have been done before. Still I recommend it as an entertaining comedy movie that you'll like but please don't over hype movies like this. I give it a 6 out of 10.