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lanakael
Reviews
BloodRayne (2005)
This was just wrong....
There's something seriously wrong when a movie is SO bad that it makes me think of the later "Friday the 13th" movies with pure, unabashed nostalgia.
Did this guy buy too much red food dye at Wal-Mart and think: Hey, what should I do with all of this stuff? I know! I'll make a movie with lots of blood! The fact that top-notch actors(Michael Madsen, Ben Kingsley, Billy Zane..hell, even Meatloaf!), and a talented up-and-comer(Michelle Rodriguez)agreed to this movie is even more appalling. I'm sure they're now wishing they'd have danced on a street corner with a tin cup for spare change rather than appear in this piece of crap.
What the hell was the point? I've seen better fight scenes in friggin Buffy, for cripe's sake...better gore in even the worst of the Jason movies...and the freaking sex scene--what the hell was THAT?!? In the vid game Rayne has the ability to seduce her targets--was the director trying to show that, or did his woman just not give him any that week so he decided to take it out on his poor actors? Watching that scene, I kept waiting for a hunky delivery guy to show up with a midget and a donkey and a bad jazz tune to start playing in the background. I think I've seen better sex scenes in Gang Bang B!tches 2. Hell, I wouldn't laud my talents to anybody but I think even **I've** done better a better sex scene! Don't even get me started on the ending. Anyone who can figure out what that was supposed to be all about is MENSA material. Or they had way too much time on their hands to ponder it and they're now being spoon-fed applesauce and drooling into their bib, smoke pooling from their ears.
This movie had so much potential that it didn't live up to. Glad I only rented it. I think I'd have gone postal had I actually paid to see it in the theatre. I didn't even bother with the "special" features on the DVD.
Instant Star (2004)
What the?!?
I've read a few comments on this board from people who think this show is unrealistic and has too much sexual content. I've got only one question: What show are YOU watching?? In an age of highly unrealistic, contrived, overly-sexed "reality" shows, Instant Star is a breath of fresh air. As much as I love Degrassi: The Next Generation, I love this show even more, as the drama in the show is done for a reason. Not just the usual "It's a teen show, let's throw in every teen stereotype possible" drabble, but each situation has a purpose. Jude Harrison is struggling to to make a name for herself amid all the craziness that comes with the music business, and with being a teen-ager, dealing with all the challenges that come with life and love. MU As far as the sex...what sex? Jude doesn't even get to make out with anyone on the show. Sure, there's some kissing between the teen characters, but that's as far as it goes. The "worst" scenes happen between the adults on the show, and even those are tame in comparison to what's on T.V. today. I've seen racier commercials. Whoever thinks there's too much sex on this show must've sat on their remote control & switched to BET Uncut or MTV After Hours by mistake. I'm 32, and the proud parent of an 8-year-old, and I've no problem at all letting my son watch this show. It's an over-all portrait of a young girl struggling to hold her own in a world she's not quite ready for, and the challenges she faces trying to find her own way and stay true to herself. A parent could do MUCH worse letting their child watch something else on Nog. Like, for instance, the horrible commercials for that new Jessie Mc Carthy show. Those commercials have more smut in them than the entire 2 seasons of Instant Star put together.
Bates Motel (1987)
Norman would be spinning in his grave!
In a perfect world, this "movie" would not have been made at all. Those of us putting our comments here are giving the movie more credit than it's worth by even posting. While watching the Sci-Fi channel, my husband and I saw that this was coming on and I was thrilled, being a major horror fan(especially a Bates fan!), yet having somehow missed its debut back in '87. After watching the first 5 minutes, I realized I was truly blessed that I did miss it! This is awful! I'm not even done watching yet and I have to say that with the possible exception of Boxing Helena, this is the WORST "movie" I've ever seen in my life! Any true fan of the horror genre should be embarrassed for the producers of this piece of fluff, and I'm surprised that Psycho fans didn't rebel. Anthony Perkins(AND Norman Bates)is probably spinning in his grave right now, and I can't say I'd blame him. I'm glad that this didn't catch on as a t.v. series, and I think I can truthfully say that my 3 year old could've done a better job. Stick with the excellent movies, and don't give this travesty a try, not even for the sake of curiosity.
Blade (1998)
Finally, a vampire movie for the 21st century!
Finally, a vampire movie for the 21st century! Having never read the comic, I had no expectations on that score. Being an intense vampire buff though, I had many expectations. Blade blew them all away. Many times over the decades the vampire has been depicted onscreen, usually to disastrous results. Not so here. This movie didn't set out to make any grandious statements, just to provide a rocking good time, which it delivered in spades. The delectable Wesley Snipes and equally yummy Stephen Dorff combine explosively to bring the classic vampire/vampire hunter tale to modern times without all the overly-dreary Goth mentality we've been drowning in since the mid-'80's. Fast-paced, furious, and often funny, Blade gives us the classic good/evil take in a new light. Wonderfully gory, great special effects, and a superb supporting cast, particularly the gruff and deliciously understated Kristofferson and newcomer N'Bushe Wright. It has the makings of a cult classic, and while great to see in the theater, I'd reccommend the DVD to anyone, as its special features gives a delightful realism to the concept of La Magra and the evolution of the comic and the movie as well. I can't wait for Blade 2!
Gross Misconduct (1993)
Why?
Why? I just saw this movie on Starz, and why is the question that comes to mind. Was Jimmy Smitts that badly in need of work? Or did he just not read the script correctly? Let's review, shall we?(Spoiler alert, sorry!) First off, a college professor who is well-known for his free love mentality, married to a woman he met while her professor some ten years hence, is seduced by a young woman who's his star pupil, the babysitter for his young children, and the Dean's daughter, no less. At first he does the right thing in telling her no, yet he doesn't take seriously her repeated(and escalating)advances. Nor does he **tell** anyone, his wife or the girl's father, about her behaviour. That's mistake #1. Then he openly banters with co-workers about her "crush" on him. Mistake #2, yes? She's already spending unusual amounts of time at his home and office, both for babysitting and for private tutoring sessions with this man. Mistake 3. When he **finally** gets around to taking her seriously enough to tell her to back off, she throws the predictable fit and he does the predictable pinning himself on her to stop her struggles. They kiss, he's hooked, they...well, ya know. Daddy, who's lost his wife in a car crash & transfers his grief/love for his wife onto his daughter in the sickest of manners, finds out and abuses his child in the worst way, leaving her mentally confused and ready to believe suggestions that her teacher raped her.
Smitts is portrayed here as a confused, sexually hyped, bumbling idiot of the highest order. In this age where a father is afraid to hug his kids for fear someone will take it the wrong way and level accusations, this man is openly spending time with a young girl in a manner which people can view as ambiguious, at BEST. He remains clueless as to the ramifications of continuing to spend time with her when half of England sees her draping herself on him every chance she gets. And when his world comes crashing down around him, he's wide-eyed with confusion. Unbelievable, and the father/daughter relationship is just sick.
I didn't think the shower scene with the girl was unrelated to the movie as some suggest. It portrayed subtly the awakening of a young woman to her body and the power of her own sexuality and fortells what can happen when the lines between fantasy and reality are blurred to dangerous results. Would that the rest of the movie had been done as well.