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Smoothfox
Reviews
Vanilla Sky (2001)
To all who mistake this for an intellegent film
People make the mistake of thinking pop references=clever. This is woefully misguided. One or two as symbols is okay, but when your film is built on them, with plot, character and pace sacrificed, it creates a void for people to pretend to enjoy. Don't get me wrong, this had potential. Sadly, it was potential destroyed by... *Explaining the references in the last third of the film. *A bullsh*t ending *A weak script. *The uncomfortable Penolope Cruz.
It's a shame, because there are some fine actors in the cast. Timothy Spall, Jason Lee, Tom Cruise and Kurt Russell do the best with what they're given, but they are swamped in the tide of imagery and the film lacks a drive. A better example is the Red Dwarf episode Better Than Life, which was much simpler. WARNING! Do not mistake flashy visuals and in jokes for intellegence.
Men in Black II (2002)
Crap I'm ashamed I was excited to see
Quick tip to the money men: keep decent dialogue writers. The wit and banter has been substituted for cheap slapstick and shiny things. Rosario Dawson makes a good love interest, but not enough is done with her. A shame, as this could have been a LOT better with just a little more effort.
The Shiny Show (2002)
9.10am BBC2 Weekdays- Watch it!
Trust me, this is the new Rainbow! The arrogant tiger Tiggs, deranged monkey Mukka and bannana sensitive straight dog Dogsby all attempt a quiz based on videos. Most of the time they laugh at the word bottom and get high on eating bannanas. You have to see this to believe it.
The Truman Show (1998)
A truly beautiful film
How Jim Carrey didn't get an Oscar for this is a mystery to me. Given the power, I would let this would sweep the board. Like all classics, there are many levels, and subtleties that I am always finding (The Sting is another fine example): so much in the background, and the film has a consistent tone of both cynicism and optimism (You can read it as one man beats the system, or the inevitable point that reality TV will one day reach...remember this preceded the craze!) The actors are all spot on, esp. the background actors who manage to switch on command, providing an eerie Prisoner-esque environment. And of course, if I could nominate a set for best Actor, Seahaven wins hands down. Excellent work all round guys! "A thing of beauty is a joy forever" John Keats
Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997)
Mortal Kombat: Abomination (SPOILERS)
The first five minutes ensure you are set up for the stupidest film in the entire world: if you came for a comedy about people doing ridiculous backflips, then you'll have a lot of fun. But this is not the point of the film. For every cool moment, there is wading through tons of tripe and even a use of a "we are all family" moral at the end (PLEASE!). And that's the problem with these films, they are yanked back on their leashes. OK, so no film can recreate the cartoonish gore of MK without looking like idiots, but in which case why did they bother? As for a third film, are the producers that desperate for money? There is no reason to waste any money on this, unless you have an abundant sense of humour, or you have the mentality of a five year old.
Mortal Kombat (1995)
Cheesy rip off of Enter The Dragon
Game to film. Generally, it doesn't work. This, I have to say, is so far the best adaption of a video game I've seen (NO, I haven't seen Tomb Raider yet.) And this is not a high compliment. The best I can say about it is that it occasionally hits the right buttons. But the awful acting, appaling dialogue, techno music and over reliance on slow motion and backflips remove even the shred of dignity this film had. All I can say is that: A, the sequel is worse and B, thank god Cameron Diaz escaped this shame upon the cinematic universe. As for this franchise, I say: FINISH IT!
Toy Story (1995)
One or two?
I have no idea which is the best, as depending on my mood either one suits me. This for my money is best for its darker aspects, Sid, Buzz and Woody's rivalry etc. This film is not only groundbreaking with effects, but raised the bar with its smart script and proper characters. Deserves all the praise.
The Mummy Returns (2001)
Overblown *SPOILER*
The equivalent of an ice cream headrush, The Mummy Returns is too much everything, and frankly The Scorpion King was a joke: half special effects, half child's drawing of The Rock. And the fact they had to insert a small,annoying child in there (who just happens to be the key to everything). OK, so there are smaller,more annoying children, but his Americanisms clashed with his accent. Also, the Matrixisms were tacked on. OK, if you're a kid, you'll love it. I found it all a bit too much.
Citizen Kane (1941)
Pure genius
I love this film! Deep focus, dissolves, so many technical achievements. The opera house, Xanadu, the showreel, all are signs of an impressive aesthetic director. But what is overlooked is the superb performances. Of course, obviously there is Welles, but Joseph Cotten and the supporting players of the Mercury Theatre all deserve a mention for their fine performances (A good example is the breakfast scene, just look at the subtle changes in body language). All this, and the haunting Bernard Herman score, gives me no choice but 10/10 Vote Kane!
Swordfish (2001)
A reassesment (BE WARNED: This may conflict with your political beliefs)
In the wake of the WTC explosion, we do have to question the amount of terrorist movies that were released prior to this. However, I believe Swordfish has suffered from bad timing, as compared to such flag waving Asian bashers as The Siege and Rules Of Engagement. For me, this film exudes the quiet confidence of Heat, which was blamed for subsequent bank robberies. I am glad I saw this film before it was pulled (from UCI cinemas), as it is a fine example of the action genre. Also, John Travolta's character seems deeply entrenched in American reprisal tactics ("You blow up a store, we blow up a town!") If I was more of the conspiratorial type (which I am not), I would suggest that this was another reason why the film was pulled. I only hope the film can be assesed at a time when we can review objectively.
Planet of the Apes (2001)
Not Burton's best, but...
The fight scenes are tremendous, and although the twist is not quite up there with the best (That honour goes to The Usual Suspects and The Shawshank Redemption), it does make you think. However, the film feels like Burton-lite, like MI2 was John Woo-lite, the apes have caged Burton here. The aesthetics show flashes of his sensibility, but his gothic romantic style is virtually absent. Also, Mark Walberg and Helena Bonham Carter are poor and miscast.
However, Tim Roth and Michael Clarke Duncan are superb, with a true apish spirit. And whoever says there's not going to be a sequel is either lying or is forgetting what has happened before ("It's not a sequel, it's a continuation!")
Shrek (2001)
Shouldn't Disney be doing this? *MINOR SPOILER*
Dreamworks heads for the jugular once again! Is there no stopping them? While Disney (I'm not counting their work with Pixar) try to tap into the zeitgest, Dreamworks are setting the trends to follow, and are upping the ante with each film: If it's not Antz, it's Shrek, if it's not Shrek, it's Gladiator, What Lies Beneath, Hannibal...They may not all be classics, but they each have something to offer above standard Hollywood fare. Shrek just has literally everything: a heart-warming ending, excellent set-pieces, a superb soundtrack (Murphy's I'm A Believer rocks, and I can never get tired of All Star) and pure hilarity ("The Muffin Man?")
Keep up the excellent work, Dreamworks!
Batman & Robin (1997)
No, Nein, Non, Just Don't!!!
There are not enough words in the English language to truly sum up the badness of this film. Everybody in this film is miscast, even Chris O'Donnel and the people from previous movies blatantly can't be arsed to do this. If anyone thinks The Mummy Returns, P.O.T.A or anything else from 2001 added to a bad year, just remember that this year bore the sh*t flavoured fruit of Batman And Robin, The Avengers and Speed 2 (Two of which featured Uma Thurman). All I'll say is whoever got out of those were either very lucky or very smart. Imagine Batman Forever removed of any sense of humour or cohesion. The film feels like a student's film project that's been jangled up. If it wasn't for The Matrix, this would make me lose my faith in Hollywood. Uma Thurman, promise me this: Never do blockbusters again. You're a good actress, don't let studios push you around. Here endeth the lesson.