Reviews

Let me preface this by saying that I'm not entirely a horror buff. By any stretch of the imagination. I've really liked some of the J-horror I've seen, the American remake of "The Ring", plus Spanish horror like REC and the excellent "The Orphanage". "The Descent" was also thoroughly enjoyable. I do know a good horror film when I see one, I just don't actively seek them out. I've never seen any of the Evil Dead series and am therefore unfamiliar with Mr Raimi's works.

I went into this film knowing nothing. I've recently moved from one country to another so I haven't been keeping up-to-date on new films in cinemas. I've seen no trailer, promotional materials or anything for this film, so I went in knowing absolutely nothing except that my friends wanted to see it. I was not expecting what I saw.

I have a confession to make: I thought it was a comedy. Hand on heart, honest to God, after some of the first shock moments, the deadpan delivery of lines by the heroine, the gratuitous goo and chin-sucking (mentioned in other reviews) and some of the witty dialogue in the bank and the dinner party scenes, I thought this whole thing was more like "Severed". Some sort of elaborate parody of every cliché in the horror genre. From the first frame to the end credits and the car ride home, I thought this was something akin to "Not Another Stupid Horror Movie". However, whereas "Severed" had some genuinely gruesome and shocking moments, only a few scenes in this film actually gave me a jump. After a while, I thought that this lacklustre dark comedy wasn't quite as funny as I initially expected. After one too many uses of the deafeningly loud creaking gate, wind and house creaks, I thought Sam Raimi and co. were really milking some of their jokes. During the car fight, I chuckled. The séance? I chuckled. The goat? That was just ridiculous. Even for a parody of the genre, that seemed a step way too far.

Imagine, then, my complete surprise when I come to IMDb to see that this is genuinely meant to be a horror film! Folks, there are only two bits in this film which are actually scary in any way SPOILERS: a quick flash of tortured images and fire when the fortune teller takes the heroine's hand, and a dream sequence involving an open window and an unexpected bedfellow. That's it. END SPOILERS. The rest of the film is just plain silly. As a comedy, it's not great. As a horror film? The fact that I didn't even recognise it as such may be the biggest indication I can give.

I left the cinema thinking that it was one of the strangest attempts at black humour I'd seen. After reading some of the reviews on this site, I don't even know what to think any more. This film has stumped me. At least I now know: never let my friends choose films that I don't know of.

I just got home from the newest Matrix installment and I'm still trying to sort it through. It's 1:20 in the morning so please bear with me as I try to express my thoughts as coherently as possible:

First of, some spoilers may be present, but very unlikely. My first impression of the movie was disbelief that this is the sequel to the same Matrix that we all know and love. Within the first 20 minutes of Reloaded, you'll realize just how different the two are. One of the most notable differences is the addition of several supporting characters that have been added in, mainly concerning Zion. My personal favourite is Link, the new operator who takes over for Tank (SPOILER! somehow or another, Tank has managed to die... this is never explained at all, but Link is the new Tank). There is also a lot more sexual influence in this one. Furthermore, the dialogue is much more witty and comical. (SPOILER AGAIN! A funny scene is when Link comes home and opens the door and says "Hey, Puss-...." and stops in the middle of that word when he realizes that there are children in the room. That got quite a laugh from the crowd! Also, it helps to speak French! One of the new characters speaks French, and claims that he loves cursing in French. He tends to use a lot of French slang and REALLY inappropriate words. If you speak fluent French like me, it's truly hilarious!

Secondly, there is FAR more action in this installment than in the first one. The visual effects are far more impressive and the freeway sequence literally left me blown away. The movie is just wild. It's ludicrous. Compared to the original Matrix, this one makes that one's fight sequences look like crap. There's no other way to explain it.

Trust me, if you think hard at juxtaposing Reloaded with the original, you'll see that all the connections make sense. However, prepare to have your mind screwed with near the end. The ending is really abrupt! Keep on your toes and have a great time! 10/10

I have just seen this movie as a requirement for a course I am taking. My history teacher pulled this one out of the closet when she became sick and was unable to come up with lesson plans. That should give you an idea of where I am going with this review. The plot is so incredibly predictable that, at any given point in the film, you can immediately tell the outcome of the current conflict, whether it be a boxing match or a fight with death. The connection between Cruise and Kidman is there, but it doesn't mean much. They both just.. stand there and act their parts pretty well. However, that doesn't save the horrific screenplay that follows every single basic guideline of a period romance-drama, with nothing extra and exciting which sets a dull movie apart from an above-average one. Simply put, nothing happens. The only remotely cool part in the movie is the wagon race, which comes very close to the end of the film. If you've already seen "Far and Away", you know what I'm talking about. Also, I want to point out that Ron Howard seems to be extremely unskilled in directing when this film was made. The camera shots are boring and uneventful and the way that the film flows almost gives you the impression that the film is apathetic to itself and allows itself to wander and falter from one plot marker to the next. There are some decent camera shots of the sky at sunset and a pretty decent wagon race. The acting isn't terrible, either. Other than that, the movie is a dud. I give it 4/10 and I'm being nice. (*1/2)

SPOILER If you have seen the movie, you'll know exactly what I mean. Tom Cruise is smashed by a horse and fades away in a death-like sequence, and then miraculously comes back to life nearly 30 seconds later. This is a fundamental of any movie: if you're going to perform a resurrection on a principal character, you allow the viewer time to let the death sink in, before slowly and gradually building up to the resuscitation. However, Cruise dies, Kidman mourns for nearly 30 seconds while some sad music plays, and then BOOM Cruise is back alive and better as ever with cheery music. It's not even touching, rather just plain confusing. I will not go any further into the rest of the movie, but rest assured that Howard failed miserably in achieving the result he was going for. At least he redeemed himself with "Apollo 13".

CONTAINS POSSIBLE PLOT AND CHARACTER SPOILERS. I just got back from the movies and decided to give Lilo and Stitch a go since I've already seen just about everything else that's out. If I had to sum it up in once phrase, I'd say: Not only was it absolutely brilliant, but the best animated film ever produced. This is why:

Usually, in a Disney movie, you can see plot developments from a mile away. Lilo and Stitch is pretty ambiguous, meaning you can never really tell what's coming up next. It doesn't even seem like a Disney movie. Hardly any little childish jokes or anything. It's absolutely fantastic. The music is WONDERFUL. It's subtle yet sets up the mood of the scene perfectly. The voice acting is superb. Lilo (Daveigh Chase) does a fantastic job of delivering the frequently tense dialogue. David Ogden Stiers is probably the best voice actor I've ever heard. His Russian accent really brings his character to life. Not to mention Chris Sanders, with all the incredible noises that Stitch makes. Stitch alone is probably the funniest thing in the movie, with all his screeches and regurgitation.

Spoilers start here

As far as the story goes, it's great. Nani, Lilo's older sister, is fighting against Social Services to keep Lilo. I'm not gonna expand too much since a synopsis is available anywhere. However, the whole idea that Nani needs a job now really helps the plot so it doesn't bottom out near the beginning. Their social worker, Cobra Bubbles, tells Lilo that she needs to reform Stitch into a model citizen after Stitch throws a book in his face (I was cracking up). Also, Lilo has her fair share of problems. She's an outcast amongst her companions. Just to give you a little taste of what you're in for, I'm gonna completely describe the opening of the movie. Lilo runs into dance lessons late because she was feeding a fish which she believes controls the weather. She says that she was panicking because all they had was tuna and if she fed a fish tuna she would be a bad person so that's why she was late. As she explains this to her dance teacher, this one girl calls her weird and Lilo snaps. She jumps on the girl and smashes her into the floor and starts punching her face. This is the first indication that something's wrong, which is obviously a quantam leap beyond previous Disney movies. Disney has done so many weak movies that you might as well go ahead and disassociate this movie from any other; it's fantastic. Yet another memorable scene is when Lilo tells Stitch to be constructive and build something rather than destroy everything. Stitch then proceeds to rapidly create a scale model of San Francisco (he does this because he is programmed to live in big cities and destroy them. Since Hawaii has no real big cities, he creates one). He then reenacts Godzilla, tearing apart the buildings and screaming and eating little model cars. No other non-human creature in Disney history has ever been so developed as Stitch. I'm not going to spoil any more, but I'll leave you with this:

I don't advise you see this movie, I command it. It will give you not only some joy of watching such a fun film, but it will totally change your whole perspective on animated movies. I mean come on, I'm a 16 year old male and I loved it. That has to count for something, right?

Final rating: 10/10, and believe me, I'd go higher if I could.

Also, some final parting advice: If you don't have kids, go after dark so you won't have to put up with screaming babies and whining kids. It gets old fast.

This ride was a real kicker! I liked it a lot! WARNING MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS/ADVICE. A gas tank thing explodes and a lot of fire comes out. Recommendation: if you're in the front row, it's REALLY hot when the fire comes out. Also, on the back row, I think (but I'm not sure), but it might drop down a little or something. Very fun ride and definitely worth the wait in line!