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Bitconned (2024)
10/10
A Fool & Their Money Are Soon Parted
1 January 2024
I am speechless at this highly entertaining and shocking documentary. So well made... if I say anything more then it's too many give aways. Ray Trapani is a very crooked wannabe mafioso and it all starts off as child's play but the further along you get, you see that so many people were so gullible in the scam that you can't even call Ray a genius. He's just the luckiest joker ever. It's very unfortunate what happened to the folks that lost their hard savings, and I do believe they tried to glorify this docu and make Trapani the modern day Jordan Belfort. Which is many ways, he is. His mum is a boss though, I did enjoy watching her and his fabulous grandma on screen.
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Still Time (2022)
2/10
Two For Effort
30 May 2023
An Italian film about a couple whose life is falling apart and it's 100% the husband's fault and all the blame lies on him even thought there are two sides to every story and he has a nutty wife who chooses terrible baby names.

Those who were paid to write the fake great reviews, shame on you. This repetitive boring borefest of a disaster movie took one hour forty nine minutes of my life that I will never get back. Steal Time should be the title.

The nerve of them to sell this as a romance when in fact it is just pure nonsensical misery. How this movie got funded for production beggars belief.
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10/10
Without Rules We are Animals
1 April 2023
This film is unmatched, unparalleled and out-skills any action film ever made in the history of cinema...it is in a category of its own. Keanu Reeves is a martial arts badass menace. John Wick Chapter 4 needs no introduction and there are literally NO WORDS to describe the masterpiece that I have just witnessed in the cinema. Which is the only way to see this and do it justice. Part 1 was insane and Chapter 2 was crazy amazing, but I actually skipped Chapter 3 as Halle was very boring in the first hour. However I knew with Bill Skarsgaard as the villain, the Swedish actor known for IT, that this should not be missed as dude can act. Well Lo and behold nothing prepared me for the fight scenes, the BODY COUNT, the 99 lives of John. Donnie Yen is amazing end of story. Keanu is everything. And the cinematography and the locations in Europe are breath-taking...like I watched the most beautiful dream. Lord Jesus Christ the Berlin club scene. The fight sequence on Paris's Arc de Triomphe, speechless. Let's just say that Chad Stahleski gave us violence with a capital V in its most artistic form. He's the Michaelangelo of cinema. Deepness, love, fear and fatigue. Remember the insane fight scene on motorbikes in 2017's The Villainess, a messy Korean revenge masterpiece? Well ALL of John Wicks fight scenes are this but on steroids. Respect and Rest in Peace Lance Reddick.
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10/10
Excess-African Style
19 March 2022
The show is giving us drama with a capital D. A different über glamorous world entirely and seeing how some live in Sandton Town Johannesburg (where this is set), one can easily compare it to Selling Sunset. Especially with the styling, the flash homes, the luxury cars, romances etc etc. There are some characters here that are TV gold!! Nadia the rapper, Annie the long suffering cute wife a former actress and Naked the famous DJ whose tongue is sharper than a blade and who swanks TWENTY FOUR SEVEN. These three cast members are absolutely hilarious and I enjoyed watching them in action. Not sure if the storyline is a reality TV fantasy or facts but either way, it's highly entertaining and fun.
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1/10
Hella Boring
12 February 2022
What was this even trying to be? 10 episodes could have been made into a 90minute movie. The soundtrack is a disaster, the accent is terrible and the acting from nearly everyone is below subpar. Garner was great in Ozark but this very pointless series of what is actually a very interesting real- life crime case is just lost with poor direction and too many useless scenes that are too long, with characters that appear and vanish into thin air never to be mentioned again.
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9/10
When Gold Digging Goes Pete Tong
2 February 2022
There are simply no words for the series of unfortunate events documented here. Firstly, let's start with Simon- The beady eyed midget with child's handwriting and a penchant for tacky clothes. In which planet is a billionaire or billionaire heir signing up to Tinder. On top of that no millionaire or gazillionaire want you to know how much they are worth, they want to see if you like them for their character and not their wallet. Which brings us to these women, who clearly did not fancy the slimy weasel, yet still were Love Bombed to the point of extreme debt.

Gullible people and shady characters have 'played' together since the beginning of time. It is a shame that the women are still paying off their huge debts and it is a damn shame his sentences are so lenient it's beyond a joke. All in all everything is Shameful.
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Unhinged (I) (2020)
1/10
Absolutely Ridiculous
22 January 2022
This thriller is dire disaster. There are just no words for the poverty stricken script and direction. Pure cheesy over the top non-sensical rage is all we viewers are given. Russell Crowe is a fantastic actor but he couldn't even save this. It was worse than any Lifetime Movie and those make more sense. Absolutely pointless rubbish.
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10/10
Fantastic Fun
10 January 2022
Hilarious, cheesy, silly and messy. First of all the cast are excellent but Salma and Ryan really steal the show here. Samuel L Jackson is brilliant as usual, as is Antonio Banderas, but the thing that really stood out for me is the excellent writing. What a script! The dialogue couldn't be any more perfect for a comedy thriller, which is what this is. This film is pure entertainment so watch it if you want to roll with laughter every darn minute.
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The Wasteland (2021)
10/10
Gothic Horror At Its Finest
7 January 2022
This is not a horror in the conventional sense, what we are given is an atmospheric, unique, deep dark tense tale of folklore and psychosis. The three cast members give a fantastic performance, coupled with the truly remarkable cinematography of the wastelands in those times. What could have been a happy family tale, is from early on tinged with a supernatural ancestory that the viewer and the characters within cannot shake off. Is it all in our heads we ask ourselves?... But I shall say no more other than watch this. It's a masterpiece and Spanish films are giving Hollywood a run for their money. I was glued to the screen.
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The Nest (I) (2020)
1/10
A Huge Bore
5 January 2022
This is one hell of a pretentious no storyline, no enticing script, average acting, dull cinematography, waste of time movie.

Jude Law plays himself and whoever did the hair & wardrobe was not representing anyhting 80's or 1990's, it was a mess.

Useless.
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2/10
Oh Dear
27 December 2021
The amount of photoshop that was done for the cover of this movie, I was swayed into believing Nicole Kidman pulled of the role to perfection. But at just two minutes in, not only did she look nothing like Lucille Ball but she also didn't look like herself. A wax work. Horrors. Then moving onto the dull script, the awful casting and the fantastic Javier Bardem who looked nothing like Desi. As in at all. I gave up there and then.

This is a straight up give it a miss.
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Don't Look Up (2021)
10/10
Genius
24 December 2021
Brilliant. Hilarious. A tragic portrayal of our current climate and how we as a human race are a lost cause. This movie is a masterpiece and Leonardo DC, Jennifer Lawrence, Jonah Hill and Meryl Streep acted their roles to perfection. But the one that stole the show was the wonderfully wierd and insensitive Mark Rylance, what a performance.

There's really not much to say apart from it makes you think, it's truly moving, and the finale is so well done that it opens something deep within that makes you think; We humans must all learn to live, love and work together to make our time on earth worthwhile. Beautiful message and movie just see it.
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Spoiled Brats (2021)
9/10
Hilarious
1 December 2021
This was a welcome addition to the Netflix French comedies. I really enjoyed the cast and the sheer ridiculouslness of it all. Tom Leeb is great as the Spanish gold digger con man and the ending was funny. A good film when nothing else to watch and an exact re-make of the Mexican original, which is slightly better.
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Night Teeth (2021)
1/10
Here To Save You Precious Time
22 October 2021
Just skip it. They tried with the scenic LA shots, but it's too slow, too long, shockingly horrid acting from everyone involved. Useless plot and storyline. No climax. This is no Interview With A Vampire. It's just disaster end of story.
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The Trip (2021)
10/10
Excellent Ride
17 October 2021
Prepare yourself for the very wort that can happen. The Trip is one hell of a comedy horror. So much drama and so much gore. Axel Hennie is a brilliant actor and writer and after watching Headhunter's thrice back when it came out, I knew this would be a worthwhile film. Starring him and a fantastic cast, also with the versatile and excellent actress Noomie Rapace, this film is fast paced, relentless, entertaining and down right insane. An original script and hilarious.
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Bad Hair (2020)
9/10
Death Becomes Her 2021
6 October 2021
This movie served every course on the menu and then some. Absolutely camp and totally 80s comedy- horror GOLD. All the actors and big named stars were in it, acting their a** OFF. Vanessa Williams is just a legend and after this I want to see Kelly Rowland in more films. She stole the show in her few musical segments. The soundtrack was AMaaaaaZING. The main star is a fantastic actress and ever so sweet...I can't wait for her success to grow in the industry. This movie is basically telling us the suffering us girls went through for a weave in the 80s/90s and noughties. Nowadays the wigs are so realistic nobody is paying $$$ to get an inconvenient sew-in. However for the masses that are unaware of that itch and that five day headache, this is an educational yet hilarious informative horror film, That will keep you glued to the screen.

The ending could have been better. We all sold our souls to the weave before waking up for more than a decade not just 1 month like here.
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10/10
A Joy Ride
25 September 2021
This film was amazing. I knew it from the trailer as Kristine Froseth is a wonderful actress and so is her up and coming co-star Diana Silvers. Both very beautiful girls, although Kristine was a more belieavble ballerina due to her figure, height, grace etc. I enjoyed every moment...it's tense! Jacqueline Bisset gave a strong performance as usual and without saying too much, you can compare it to the masterpiece that was 'Black Swan' but on steroids. It is very seductive, beautiful cinematography and sometimes good choreography but most of all and surprisingly, the ending is unpredictable. Simply put the finale is perfect.
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Ma (I) (2019)
2/10
Nonsensical Mess
24 September 2021
Ma started off well. The acting was good, the premise of it all good but then about half way through it became comically dire. Unrealistic. By the final act it was just darn ridiculous. "As if," is all I thought when Ma went on her revenge rampage.

Seriously though, how could good actors like Luke Evans and Juliette Lewis accept these useless roles.
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Intrusion (II) (2021)
2/10
Utter Nonsense
23 September 2021
I went into this film optimistic, excited even. Well Lo & Behold was I in for one joyless bad-acting ride. I'll make it quick unlike the directors who put us through 1hr33 minutes of a waste of time diabolic script, and on top of it slow paced. Frida Pinto should give up acting like yesterday. Logan however played his part very well, plus he's eye candy and quite frankly the only reason I sat through this disaster. The movie didn't know whether it's coming or going. Absolute trash.
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Clickbait (2021)
1/10
All Hype No Substance
8 September 2021
Netflix brought this to us to insult our intelligence. Not only did it start off chaotic, with a diabolical script, sub-par acting by everyone and horrible camera work. They took it further by giving Zoe Kazan the worst fried to an inch of it's life wig since Kingdom Come. I couldn't get past that and by the end of this Epic Mess and a nonsensical ending, I was done.
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Candyman (2021)
2/10
He Tried
30 August 2021
Jordan Peele really tried here but lost his way. The original Candyman is frightening, horrific, traumatic and sticks with you. As a teen I was horrified by that perfect horror film. 2021s version is a woke drama, zero horror or suspense, zero character building, just a whole lotta talkin'

Jordan has disappointed us with US & another unforgettable film and now this disaster. Get Out was an original masterpiece. I fear he isn't the new Wes Craven of horror films we assumed him to be. Give it a miss unless you like wasting precious time.
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7/10
Fab Series
17 August 2021
Its very good the first 4 episodes, then it gets LOST.

It tries too hard to be edgy and nothing is actually shocking. A lot of blood, occult magic and gore yukiness but in a 80s horror type of way. The actors are all great but Catherine Keneer stands out. She too cool for school, she's unbothered.

Definitely far too long however its an original... yet could have been amazing if Oriel Paulo had directed it and re written the script. Watch The Innocent or Contratiempo to know what I mean. Basically if any South Korean director gets to remake this it will be a masterpiece!! But for now, it's a straight 7.
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Pig (I) (2021)
10/10
Surprisingly Brilliant
28 July 2021
All I have to say is that this slow moving gem about dealing with your trauma and healing is a masterpiece. Nicolas Cage has strayed so very far away, with his abysmal choice of films since Face Off. Well he's back. And he deserves that Oscar next year.
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9/10
Thrilling
25 July 2021
Ignore the bad reviews this film is a fantastic slow burn thriller. It came on Sky Cinema and I watched it with the family. We were all glued to the screen. Sam Caflin is a great bad guy and all the actors were top notch in this. Deep. Dark. Revenge is a dish served crazy and and COLD.
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I Care a Lot (2020)
1/10
Absolute rubbish
19 July 2021
I am utterly surprised that Rosamund Pike of Gone Girl excellence would accept a role like this. Imagine the greats, such as Liz Taylor and Marilyn M, Ava Gardner etc saying yes to such a senseless, cruel and pretty useless script such as. Nothing was enjoyable here not the cinematography nor the acting. It made me ill, left a bad taste in my mouth and I am a woman supporting women. Disgraceful nonsense.
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