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Reviews
The Breed (2001)
Inconsistencies abound
A plot-driven film with poor special effects (with another Matrix-style shoot-out!) and dreadful inconsistencies (set in a future where people wear clothes, live in buildings and drive cars from the past, in a totalitarian regime where people behave like it is a democratic society). Not supposed to be a gothic Vampire story, there's a little too much use of the smoke machine. Paul and Woodbine act well, Ling and everyone else are forgettable. The film is trying to make a point, but I couldn't quite figure out what it was. 5 out of 10, and only that much because I'm a fan of Vampire flicks and Adrian Paul.
Tomcats (2001)
Furiously funny batchelor romp
This is one of those rare gems a truly funny film.
Jerry O'Connell (`Sliders') is a hapless bachelor who's made a bet with his college buddies that the last one to get married will win the stake, which, after 7 years, has grown to almost half a million dollars. When he accidentally loses $50,000 at a Vegas casino and has one month to pay up or kiss goodbye to his anatomy, he decides to use dirty tricks to get his last rival married, in order to pocket the prize for himself.
The film is fast-paced with a hilarious series of mishaps, a brief comic salute to Cruise's cliff-top stunt in `Mission Impossible 2' and a new twist to the `boyfriend stops the wedding ceremony' gag. You'll remember this film whenever your girlfriend or wife asks you to `say the three little words' ("I love you" or ?) and you'll think twice about eating in a hospital canteen again.
If you liked Porky's, Revenge of the Nerds and the Naked Gun, you'll love this. If Deuce Bigalow or Ace Ventura got you to smile, this one'll guarantee a belly-laugh.
My three little words rent it now!
The Brotherhood 2: Young Warlocks (2001)
Cheap and Nasty
I like horror films, films about magic and films about warlocks, but this is a cheap and nasty effort, with scenes that are too long, inappropriate synthesizer music that is too loud and bad acting. Don't be fooled by the slick cover. This is rubbish.
Children of the Living Dead (2001)
Disappointing
As a big fan of the zombie genre and George E Romero's classics, I was excited about seeing this one. However, despite an interesting opening sequence, it proved a complete let down. Instead of armies of marauding flesh-eaters, there's a single master zombie who co-ordinates a tiny band of zombies in a small town. There aren't that many shots of the zombies, with the film concentrating on the son of a crooked businessman who visits to help open his dad's new car shop. If you're expecting anything like Dawn of the Dead (or its sequels) or the hilarious Return of the Living Dead 1 and 2, you'll be disppointed. If you're expecting crap, you'll still be disappointed.
On a different theme, I rented the DVD, hoping to get better film and audio, but the film and audio were average, and there were no special goodies on the disc.
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
Stunning, value for money, a believable fantasy
This is a visually stunning and thoroughly entertaining version of the classic novel. Oddly, none of the veteran actors steal the film (surprising, given the presence of Ian McKellen as Gandalf, Christopher Lee as Saruman and John Rhys-Davies as Gimli). Cate Blanchett makes a poor and uncharismatic Galadriel, with an almost husky voice (nothing like the melodic voice she is supposed to possess).
Apart from Sean Bean, who is perfect as Boromir (what did they feed this guy?), it is the new actors and actresses who shine. Elijah Wood makes a wonderful and sensitive Frodo, Billy Boyd's true Scottish accent makes for a warming Pippin and Sean Astin plays the Samwise Gamgee character as it was meant to be. Hugo Weaving makes a dark Elrond (he is a cross between his Agent Smith in The Matrix, Professor Snape in Harry Potter and the Scorpion King in The Mummy 2). Viggo Mortensen is a believable Aragorn, straight from the pages of the novel, and Liv Tyler makes a surprisingly good and likeable Arwen, with an elevated role. I hope she appears in the next 2 films. I also can't wait to see Andy Serkis in the next film as Gollum.
The scenes are beautiful, not least Hobbiton itself, though Galadriels' forest scene was rushed and it is shame the Barrow Downs were left out. Moria is chilling, though the Balrog encounter could have been better choreographed. The fight sequences are excellent, particularly the Sauron Battle at the beginning of the movie. The photography is wonderful.
The music is, sadly, not memorable. There is an inevitable Carol Orf-style battle theme and, even though other music was provided by Enya, I feel the film was let down a little here. A hobbity theme music with pipes and lyres would have gone down well.
Don't get me wrong - I loved the film. My criticisms are minor and I would easily rate this a 10 out of 10. For value for money, this 3 hour epic is simply unbeatable and the only real downside is the 12 month wait for part 2.
Code Red (2001)
Not Predator
There will probably be a lot of spotty nerds squealing that this is a cheap Predator rip-off. Believe me, it ain't.
Predator was about, well, an alien predator. So as not to spoil the plot, I'll just say, this ain't. It's got everything, including a bald general (they should have got the guy from Stargate), a likeable psycho commander, a female Lara Croft-lookalike commander complete with PhD and martial art skills, several amusing soldiers who drop faster than Captain Kirk's security officers on an away mission and, well, the aliens (yes, plural). It's sort of Predator, Jurassic Park, Top Gun and a few other genres rolled into one. But believe me, it's not mindless patriotic gun-ho violence.
A worthwhile video. And if you have your mates round, you can play "Guess who buys it next"!
Verdict: 7/10
Chambers (2000)
Mildly amusing
Sitcom about barristers chambers in London starring John Bird as a stupid and offensive lawyer. Originally a radio show, this has lost much in its translation to television. The jokes are crude and smutty and there is an overemphasis on crassness, which worsens as the series goes on. In the second series, Meera Syal appears as a successful female Asian barrister, lacking in personality.
Jurassic Park III (2001)
Why?
The overriding question is why they made this.
One was good, great effects, great plot and scientifically stimulating. OK, 2 was a let-down but was worth seeing anyway. This was dreadful from beginning to end. The plot is too artificial (stupid boy hang-glides into Jurassic Park island, ignoring all the warnings and his idiot mother decides to mount a rescue, oblivious of all the people who die, kidnapping Sam Neill and basically prancing around like a trip to the park).
The ending is the worst I've seen in a long time - if you've seen Lord of the Flies, you'll know what I mean. It was as if they just got tired of making this turkey.
The only good thing about this film is Sam Neil, who's looking and acting better as he gets older - ala Harrison Ford. Also, notice how his hat has changed from the first film and is now the standard Indiana Jones issue. Cool, but not cool enough to save this mess. Do yourself a favour and watch Evolution instead.
Mulan (1998)
Fun Chinese theme
Forget the armchair critics.
If you're a Disney fan. you'll love this one, about a Chinese girl who joins the army to fight maurading Huns. There's a little dragon friend (Eddie Murphy), a romantic captain of the guard (Donny Osmond provided the singing voice), an evil-looking Hun chieftain, an irritating minister and 3 soldier friends.
Despite what others may say, the songs are terrific - not soul (ala Hercules) or jazz (ala Jungle Book), just normal. It's not a kiddies' film - it's for the whole family.
Frankly, I'm not really a Disney fan and have little patience to watch most animated films. But this one's worth it.
Dungeons & Dragons (2000)
Enjoyable if not taken seriously
Interesting attempt to bring the popular role-playing game to the big screen. This film will certainly appeal to hardened AD&D gamers and to fans of fantasy. To others, it may seem like a poorly-acted romp through silliness, plagiarising the Phantom Menace and with an over-long dragon scene at the end.
However, viewers prepared to watch with tongue firmly in cheek will find this an enjoyable experience, with likeable characters (particularly Richard O'Brien's thief king Xilus resurrecting his role as referee of the Crystal Maze) and a hammishly played villain complete with English accent.
Definitely not to be taken seriously but worth watching.
Evolution (2001)
Ghostbusters meets the Blob
Evolution is an 80s style comedy / horror / thriller a la Ghostbusters, boasting elements of several other genres, e.g. buddy and college frat.
Jones' acting is superb and so is his dialogue. Duchovny balances those excesses with his usual quiet style. Moore is a jewel as the stern-faced but synpathetic government scientist (a sort of Scully or Starling figure with personality). Scott was just great as the yokel that found the meteorite. Ackroyd could have been much more than the straight Governor (a Dragnet fetish for strictness would have added something).
However, the two to watch for are those lovable wobbly students in Duchovny's science class. If they ever make another Animal House style film, they should book those guys early.
80s style one-liners guarantee the viewer will be kept laughing.
And I haven't even mentioned the great special effects...
This is definitely one to watch which will appeal to everyone.
Battlefield Earth (2000)
Humans fight for survival in distant future
Primitive humans on a future, alien-enslaved earth, battle their oppressors.
A highly implausible story, aggravated by silly plot twists (primitive men learning to fly supersonic jets in a short time and suddenly talking like Skywalker in the Death Star scene in Star Wars) and dark (but not haunting) photography.
The plot was unstimulating, the special effects as bad as the acting and Travolta too likeable as a baddie.
The best thing about it was the irony of the last scene.
It would have been better as an Outer Limits episode.
Only big Travolta fans or die-hard sci-fi buffs should watch this.
Baldur's Gate (1998)
Fun, fun, fun!
A brilliantly put together role-playing strategy game a la Dungeons & Dragons, with real characters and sub-plots, swords and sorcery. The player controls up to 6 characters (sometimes more, though magical means) who can interact with each other and who have their strengths and weaknesses. Like taking part in a novel.