Change Your Image
kotsotu
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
Twisted House Sitter 2 (2023)
Don't come for Vivica!
Y'all have no point or reason to come for Vivica.
I clicked on this movie not expecting to take it seriously. And I still don't, but I was actually entertained by the story. I don't click on a Tubi movie expecting cutting edge creativity. I'm usually bored and have too much time to kill. At the very least, I wasn't super disappointed because I didn't expect much, anyway.
With all that being said, don't take your disappointment out on the actors or just one of them. Be fair. I'm sure they did the best with what they had, a.k.a. A dry, uncreative script.
I've watched a lot of Vivica Fox movies. I think she's a great actress and she brings a brand of professionalism, that can turn to crazy, to these D-List movies. She essentially plays the same character in all of these movies. I think she's a great actress, regardless.
It makes no sense to insult only her and I don't know why you would only critique her. I thought the woman who played Alicia was overdoing it from the start. The husband character was just an accessory. And everybody else was filler. Vivica is the one who brought all the emotion and life to a cast full of perfectly made up mannequins. I enjoy her and I'll watch almost anything with her in it and I think if it wasn't for her, this movie would've been skippable.
The Blackwell Ghost (2017)
I like it cause it's hilarious
The editing and timing are great. The acting is good and the guy is funny.
There is not one, not even a single iota of second that I thought this was real. If you're caught up over that alone, grow up.
If you're caught up over no jump scares, grow all the way up. It's not even classified as a mockumentary. Why would there be jump scares? Are you 12?
For some reason, the makers of this film left it up to the viewer to decide if it's real or if there is even purpose. I really don't care. It's a fun movie.
Some people actually believe it's real. I don't know why, but more power to them.
I actually got a little scared at the "climax"....it felt more or less real.
It's not nearly the best thing I've ever seen, but I enjoyed it. It's less than an hour. Fast-paced and straight to the point.
But I don't know what the point is other than to be entertaining and maybe to encourage people to make up their own mind.
The Harvest (2013)
Lazy.
This movie is really stupid. It actually started out pretty good and when the crux of the plot is revealed, you really think it's going somewhere.
But with nearly an hour left, it manages to go absolutely nowhere. The plot isn't original or unseen, but it still could've been strong. It simply peters out.
Not even the good acting redeems it.
Going in, I made note of the 1hour45min run time and thought it must be more complex for such a length, only slightly longer than the average movie length for this time period, but still too long for what you get.
It spends the first near hour carefully laying out an interesting plot, just to throw a wrecking ball at it and literally light it up in flames.
What a waste.
Rasen (1998)
Not worthy of the "Ringu" title
This installment of the Ringu series simply doesn't belong. It has nothing to do with the series other than vaguely maintaining the original premise, but doing it no justice. It has no cinematic substance and is worthless as a film.
It attempts to explain the curse scientifically. It is in fact way too science-y, yet still manages to make no sense.
It's not a horror movie. It's sci-fi. Other than people's own hallucinations, you don't get a sense that they're being haunted. There isn't this presence of an evil spirit. It simply doesn't have this feel. When I watch a movie from the Ringu franchise, I expect to be scared out of my wits.
I would call it a drama, too. Two people brought together by loss of a loved one, become romantically involved. Everything "scary" is implied and not shown at all. I read another review saying the sex ruined the horror. In my opinion, there is simply no time for sex in a movie like this. It definitely slowed it down, but it is at least relevant to the scientific aspect. The sex lends to the bigger picture of the use of science as a medium for the tape to imprint a virus. Sex is one of three vehicles of infection in this movie. So it alone didn't ruin the horror. The actual lack of horror is what ruined the horror. Lol.
You get no girl coming out of the well or TV. And when you do see her in a hallucination, she's normal looking, not horrifying.
I guess you can call the end a twist. Science itself is both abused and thrown to the wind by the "antagonist" in this film. Since when in the Ringu franchise does Sadako have an apprentice? Come on, that's wishful. It's a blatant butchering and I'd vehemently exclude this installment and never speak of it again as it pertains the Ringu series because it offers nothing.
It's completely irrelevant.
Inside (2016)
It's bad because it's bad, not because it's a remake.
Here's an actual useful review that isn't full of emotional attachment to the original and from someone who doesn't dislike this movie simply because it's a remake.
Aside from stupid actions from the characters, just likely literally every other horror movie ever made, it's not a horrible movie. It's really interesting what this woman will do to get this baby. That's literally the point. You can be mad at the characters actions and how they're not being smarter. You can say that about every movie that ever existed.
The dad being killed at the beginning, and the main character being chased around the house by a killer, reminded me of Disturbia, which came out the same year as the original.
The suspense starts way too early, with still an hour left in, there's so much inertia built up by the end, you'll simply be tired of the movie and want it to be over already. You'll hate it simply because of that. The plot is as stupid as the characters and I feel bad for whoever's job it is to summarize the plot.
All around, I actually like the ending. Up until that point, the villain is this one track minded machine. By the end, you kinda understand her.
The Dead Room (2015)
You're kidding right?
These reviews are creepier than the movie. The main reason for many of these glowing 7+ reviews is specifically because this is a NZ film and not an American one? Really? If you told me all these people got paid to leave 7 star reviews that specifically mentioned "NZ".... I'd believe you.
It is not a 7 star movie. This is ridiculous and it's weirding me out by how many reviews are saying the exact same thing. Specifically mentioning NZ, the NZ scenery, NZ accents....what does that have to do with anything?
Anyway, here's a real review. The acting is fine. For people who care about character stereotypes, there really are none. The characters don't really stand out for any reason and they get along swimmingly. They might as well have no names. You get no backstory at all and they get right to the point.
People saying the characters are likeable and relatable are straight up lying. You never learn anything about them. They barely even talk. Like I said they might as well be nameless.
Nothing outstanding is happening. The ghost is moving things around a lot. It's not scary at all. There was one point I thought the old guy was gonna get impaled by a rake.
Nothing happens. Literally. Spooks and scares here and there and then at the end a ghost movie suddenly becomes a zombie movie. Hand sticking out of the dirt and all.
Ghosts are not what is meant to be feared in this movie. Unfortunately the actual scary thing is seen for half a second at the very end.
I think this is a movie for people who don't actually like movies or at least movies with a story. The movie is so empty and almost pointless.
They point around their machines, magnetic fields and a baby monitor, and the girl reads the air. They get objects thrown at them by a ghost that wants them to leave and then they get eaten by a semi invisible zombie at the end. That's the movie.
But at least the NZ scenery that's shown for 30 seconds in the beginning is beautiful. 🙄
The Hoarder (2015)
A lesson in letting things go
Letting go is a matter of life and death in this mellow slasher.
A random bunch of civilians find themselves locked in a storage facility on the wrong night. The group is terrorized, as the first half of the film would have you believe, by a humanoid creature, after the main protagonist is mistakenly led to the wrong unit.
The facility is entirely underground, with literal negative numbers labeling the floors. The last floor, negative 4, needs a key to be accessed. This lock is picked by our first victim.
Rats in a maze, still weighed down by their possessions, despite perilous circumstances, one by one the troubled pack is weakened. The ties that hold them to their precious objects are just too strong.
In one scene, a man is on the ground reaching for the last bill from a bag full before his throat is slit. He just couldn't let go.
Our main protagonist is fully free as she turns and reaches for the precious diary that brought her to the godforsaken prison, the weight of the past too heavy after all. She just couldn't let go.
Hoarders are known to be imprisoned by their possessions. This film gives that notion a grotesque visualization.
Somewhere in Time (1980)
"It was just a little movie"
Somewhere in Time is ssssaaad. The synopsis can be brushed off as silly science fiction but the overall message is how heavily reality shatters delusion.
So much of the main character's disposition is in his mind. To the watcher, he's just a guy lusting after a woman in a picture. You never fully get to know him or understand why he's so taken by the lady other than appearance.
The ambiance of forbidden love reminded me of Romeo and Juliet. It's kinda boring and sometimes creepy up to the moment he pulls the penny out of his pocket.
Those last 20 minutes had me wide eyed. The sickly makeup was exquisite. The emotion was suffocating.
What a great actor Christopher Reeve was. You can watch this movie for free on Tubi, if you're interested.
Edit: Updating my review over a year later, January 20, 2024, because I was wrong.
I'm increasing my rating from a 4 to an 8 because after watching a couple more times, new undertones have been revealed.
There's much more to this movie than I originally grasped.
I now realize the reason Richard is so taken by Elise isn't because of lust, it's because of the sense of familiarity.
This sense of familiarity is caused by the (sort of) eternal time loop Richard and Elise are stuck in together because of them passing the locket back and forth.
Richard receives the locket in Elise's future, his present time, and Elise receives the locket way back in the past, before Richard is born, because of him going back in time.
They are trapped in this time loop of losing each other over and over.
Obviously the end scene of them meeting in the afterlife is inaccurate because Elise died in old age, physically, though her spirit died long before when she lost Richard.
It's a chicken and egg scenario. The loop has no true origin. But, know this, Richard is no creep. He has a soul tie to Elise.
His depiction of "rediscovering" Elise simply looks a little creepy. That's a matter of directing.
This movie was better the more I juggled it around in my mind and it's now one of my favorites.
Adventure Time: Blank Eyed Girl (2016)
Makes my laugh out loud
There's light chuckling and then there's genuine out loud laughter. This show in general makes me laugh all the time but this episode is one of my favorites for hilarity. I love Finn and Jake's scared reaction to the Blank Eyed Girls. It's too funny. Honestly they're the funniest when they're scared by weird creatures they don't understand. So funny, interesting, and weird as always.
First Impression (2018)
This movie is entertaining but SO boring.
Funny at certain parts, the acting isn't bad, but it's all over the place. This movie has no clear purpose. I had no idea what was going on half the time. Ultimately, it's really boring. I got an hour in, and it had felt like several. I began to skip because it gets pretty predictable at that point. It seems like a bunch of things going on at once. It's too much. It's like the type of story that a couple would tell about how they met, but longer and more complicated than it should be. I feel like the buildup could be better. Much better. It was confusing to watch. But, as I said it's an entertaining story but it's boring as heck. Good actors. There are weird, underlying plots that never manifest and don't support the main dynamic. The mood changes a lot. Sometimes it feels like a comedy, sometimes it feels like a sincere romance, sometimes it even feels satirical. It's random and jumpy. The transitions are not smooth. It's a very confusing experience. It seems the director is a not a great storyteller.