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House of the Dragon: Driftmark (2022)
Honestly
These high reviews are ridiculous. Who can even see anything? House of the dragon and they don't even make use of fire? Descendants from old Valyria and they've completely forgotten how to forge? No lanterns, lights, pits nothing? Even in GOT they had more lighting inside. Everyone here seems to like to sit in the dark, which inexplicably is what they did this episode. Again, HORRIBLE direction. I don't know who chose this, but it's awful to watch.
This is made worse by the fact that I don't even know who these people are. What have the show runners been doing with their time? There's an awful lot of long shots of scenery and looks that I guess are supposed to be meaningful, but I don't know how I'm supposed to know what they mean. They're just squandering time that should have been spent on building characters. Now here we are with some funeral that's outside on a dark patio for some reason (again, fire is central to this dumb show. Use it). Everyone is acting moody and weird like one of those Dior perfume commercials. I don't even know these people, but all I can see at this point are white wiggles and non white wiggies. Who did they think was going to watch this?
Once again, let's tally the crummy takes against women. 7 episodes now and we have 3 gratuitously violent extended birth scenes resulting in 2 dead wives and 2 dead babies, a wife who was casually murdered by her husband so he could remarry, Alicent who gets summoned to succumb to fairly grotesque relations with her old and lesion covered king/husband who was also her BFFs dad that she grew up with, a couple of kids thrown out as marriage proposals and at least one who was told to make go make the sale to the king, and now a niece that's been groomed by her uncle not just consummating the relationship but signing up for marriage. WT actual F. This from a story that was supposed to have strong women characters. Who are the people making these decisions??
No one is really likeable. Rhaenyra, Daemon, Viserys, Corlys, Rhaneys. They're all so sulky and, with the exception of Alicent, I can't really remember seeing any redeeming qualities. I mean the kings son loses an eye and he's not going to do anything about it? That shot would never fly with Robert Baratheon! And Rhaenyra of course gaslighting everyone, Daemon just being weird as usual. What a bunch. No thank you.
That's the other thing, it seems like absolutely no one is happy during this time. Even during the worst days of GoT, at least a few people looked like they were enjoying themselves. Here it's like emo night every night. If this was supposed to be the height of Targaryen rule, everything sure looks depressing. (And again dark!)
Midnight Mass (2021)
Fun!
This reminded me a lot of old school Stephen King. Really atmospheric, spooky series set in a hard working New England fishing town where strange things have started to happen since the late night arrival of a new and mysterious young priest. Same director as the Haunting of Hill House (Netflix adaption) and Haunting of Bly Manor, so if you liked those two, you're in equally good hands (and if you haven't seen them, add it to your queue if you like Spooky not Slasher horror. There's a couple of cheesy characters and a couple more preachy bits than I'd like, but it's still a super fun ride.
Hamish Linklater and Samantha Sloyan really slay their parts too. Lots of fun!
Reservation Dogs (2021)
Skoden
Great show! Heartwarming, smart, funny, visually appealing show of a group of high school friends trying to move forward and make sense of things in the wake of a friends sudden passing. (It's touching at times, but not depressing.)
These are great kids, and there are so many other great, well developed and absolutely memorable characters in this show. The writing is top notch and the episodes veer between funny hi jinx and some poignant moments and magical realism thrown in, very much like other Taika Waititi projects (although he only co produces this one). The writers and directors (and most cast) are all Indigenous, and they do an amazing job of bringing viewers in like part of the family. There's an expert telling of both the universal and the specific, and it's all brought together with fantastic acting, visually appealing cinematography, smart writing, and an amazing soundtrack. Definitely conveys that time on the cusp of graduation where everything seems possible and you're also aware that so much is about to change.
My Best Friend's Exorcism (2022)
* Planchette moves to "GOOD BYE"
I really enjoyed this book, but this movie misses the mark. I think it would've been better as a miniseries. To recap, this is a story of childhood friendship. A Stephen King says no matter how many friends or family you have in your life, you will never have friends like that again. It's also a coming of age story, and what happens as you and your friends start getting older and branching out. It's a story of high school anxiety and 80s nostalgia (Frusen Glädjé!) . And, front and center, of course it's a story about strange things starting to happen and possible dark forces visiting your hometown. Good stuff for spooky season!
Unfortunately, I don't think the story translated well here. Grady Hendrix's books are usually pretty jam-packed, so I don't see how you could cram everything into 90 minutes. It definitely felt choppy. Key scenes and characters fell flat because they didn't have enough set up. Things happened that seemed pretty random unless you knew the backstory. It felt like they were moving really fast, more like paying homage to major scenes rather than building a story that could stand on its own.
The best parts of the book- the sinister, creeping horror story build, the BFF saga, the 80s nostalgia- don't come across, and the whole thing felt rushed. I had no emotional investment in any of these people. It's the first point that bothers me the most. Why watch a horror movie if it's not even going to be spooky or scary?
Anyway, imo you're left with an empty book recap if you know the story, and I don't even know what you'd get out of it if you didn't. Maybe just a time filler movie to watch during a flight or something to have on in the background.
I really like Elsie Fischer, and she and Amiah Miller turn in good performances for what they were given. Chris Lowell too. They at least keep it watchable (if you know the story, anyway). The other actors were barely given enough material to register. Production was ok. 3 stars for the acting and for putting out a spooky movie in October.
House of the Dragon (2022)
Dragon dung
I gave it 6 episodes so as not to rush to judgement, but this show fails across the board. Terrible casting, bad writing, bad direction, bad production (so dark!), bad show running, and the worst, most distracting, dumbest wigs on television.
They said they wanted to keep the focus internal to the House of Targaryen, but looks like they also decided that should come at the expense of the rest of Kingslanding or Westeros. It's like there's only 100 people in this world, which might be ok, but you have to make at least some of them interesting. As yet, they haven't. These people are 1 dimensional plot devices. They completely lack any kind of wit or charisma and have no depth to them. For instance, why did Alicent marry Viserys? Did she *want* to be queen? We didn't see any kind of ambition to that aim before. Was it because of her father? Duty or fear? Or did she share his ambition? Who knows? He only had about 10 lines up until then. If this was his plot, why did he accept Viserys decision so meekly? All that time in Kings Landing as Hand and he didn't build up any alliance? And what did the people of Kings Landing think? Who knows, who cares, right? Unlike GoT, there's no complex political calculations or repercussions here. And the dress? No need to include any backstory on what that meant or what it started? Ok. Just one example, but the whole show is full of things handled this terribly. 8 hours in and I don't know or care who these people are. Their stories are shallow and most lack consistency or context. It's like 8 hours of "and then this happened" about people you don't know at a place you don't work. Boring.
Also, what is their point with women in this show? I know GoT got dinged for it's portrayal of violence towards women, but I think HotD is way worse. It's certainly been much more uncomfortable to watch. 6 episodes and 3 gratuitously violent and drawn out birth scenes? AND the casual murder of a wife and bartering off of 10 year old girls as a perfectly acceptable marriage proposals? Doesn't that seem really Extra for 6 episodes? Maybe it reads worse in the post Roe era, but to me this show makes me feel way worse than I ever did with GoT and comes across as exploitive and backwards. "Our battlefield is the birthing bed"??!? Really? In this story where women were warriors and conquerors in their own right, you chose to ignore that and turn it in to something so reductive? What an ignorant choice. At least GoT was smart about how women approached and gained power in this world. HotD is just gratuitous and dumb. Nothing in their approach makes sense in the story and it's sure not anything I want to watch.
The casting too. I like Paddy Constantine and Matt Smith, but they are not Targaryens. Their performance reads second or third string, not people descendant from an immensely powerful dynasty. They can't even carry those wigs (which, to be fair, are the worst wigs in memory). I guess they couldn't find any real blonde actors? Get some people with spark! ( I was thinking Ebon Moss-Bachrach or even Jesse Plemmons as Viserys and someone like Travis Fimmel for Daemon). I don't mind diversity, but having it be the Velaryons does pose a canon problem (Targaryen obsession with their superiority and bloodlines was a big part of their downfall). The actor who plays Corlys also falls flat. True, he's only had about 10 lines, but he doesn't seem dynamic enough for the character. (Try someone like Jude Law or Tom Hardy). He and Paddy also seem too old for their early parts. Young Rhaenera is ok, but they can't seem to decide if she's headstrong and mischievous or reserved and distant. Christian Cole, pretty much everyone on the small council- just completely contrived and forgettable.
The writing is superficial and sprawling. None of the pointed wit, strategic viewpoints, or layered characters of GoT, just recounting plot points from the books without adding depth or context. 6 episodes in and it seems like the first 5 we're just spinning wheels. Good writers would have been able to work most of that material in as backstory in order to focus on the story they wanted to tell, but HotD team doesn't seem to know what that story is or have anything interesting to add to it.
And on top of it, I can barely see 1/3 or the scenes because Kings Landing is so dark for some reason. There's scenes that I thought were in the middle of the night and then they step outside and it's mid day. Why? By GoT time, Kings Landing had plenty of light in most of the rooms. What happened? It's not winter. They seem to be familiar with the concept of windows. This show cost more per episode than GoT, and yet who knows what they're spending it on. Can't even see most of it, and what I can see looks like GoT knock offs costumes rather than anything opulent or anything that would speak to the power and industry of old Valyria.
Whatever. Super fans are giving this a 10, but that's laughable. Maybe a 3 if you're interested in the story. I'm going with a 1 at this point because I haven't found any redeeming qualities and they've seemed to dumb down and ruin a story and world that was already laid out for them. Waste of time.
Dickinson (2019)
Silly
As others have said, this is closer to an Emily Dickinson themed party than anything biographical. There are some real bits of Dickinson poems thrown in, but not in the proper timeline or context. Historical fiction is one thing, but this is just standard CW teen drama using the name and setting of Emily Dickinson. They could have picked Abe Lincoln, Harriet Tubman, Elizabeth Blackwell, etc. And had essentially the same result.
It's ok for a teen drama, I guess, just wish they would have made it an original story instead. They wouldn't have lost anything. When you use a real person's name and history, you really should be more respectful of their story.
Bridgerton (2020)
Basic Shondaland FanFic
Pretty much what you'd expect from a Shonda Rhimes appropriation of BBC period pieces, Jane Austin, or Vanity Fair. Don't come looking for developed characters or plot. It's focused on setting up meaningless drama. Bad characters are bad, good characters are good, troubled characters are mostly wallowing for brooding's sake. The writing is a hair above fan fiction.
Not my thing. But, if you find her other shows comfort TV, then you'll probably find a lot of the same elements here with more elaborate costumes. Not everything has to please the critics.
I Care a Lot (2020)
Not Good
Not exactly sure what category this falls in. I thought it was going to be a comedy, but it's not a comedy. They don't really set anything up to be funny, and nothing funny really happens. The trailer kind of makes it look like a snappy dark comedy, but I didn't find it anything close.
Not drama. The characters are flat and mostly vile. There is zero emotional attachment, relatability, or growth.
I guess action? But even then it falls flat. The plot is just basic, predictable escalation of unlikely scenarios. Plot holes everywhere. No one raised an eye at Pike's record here? No one could pick up on a pattern? Dinklage is a weird antagonist. If he's a big crime boss, why didn't he send more people to break his mom out? Why couldn't he have just paid off or threatened the same people Pike did? Why would Pike be his legal guardian when other people could have said he wasn't a John Doe?
And the ending- the last 30 seconds don't make up for where they ended up taking the movie before then. Not only is the alliance between the mob boss and the character who kidnapped his mother and tried to do him in unbelievable, who on earth wants it to happen??? Rosamund Pike standing in front of that huge wall of seniors she apparently has kidnapped and entrapped is horrifying. (Come to think of it, this might have worked best as a horror movie, but it would have to be reworked to bring that out it a way that makes any sense.) The ending offers no redeeming value to that. It just seems like a ploy they tacked on at the last minute to avoid moral criticism. Since it's only 30 seconds and with no narrative tie in, it feels completely incoherent with the overall story and message. The ethics equivalent of "and then she woke up".
Anyway, not what I thought, and what was there wasn't good. I like the actors, but they couldn't do much with this script. The plot is extremely unlikely. I'm willing to suspend disbelief, but I expect some kind of payoff in entertainment value and it just never came here. The parts of the story that are worth exploring are abandoned as minor details and never get the focus. A star for a concept that could have had potential, and a star for some of Pike's acting. The rest is just a bunch of costly, confusing, and frustrating material that should have been developed into something coherent before filming.
The Queen's Gambit (2020)
Chess is easy if you play it on the ceiling
Watchable for the cinematography and the fashion. Leads do well with their parts, such as they are. Storyline is OK, but extremely superficial and contrived. You know who these characters are and what will happen from episode one, and there's really no surprises. Seems like there was a missed opportunity to make at least some use of chess strategy in the plot, but oh well. All in all, one of those that's ok if you're just looking for something for filling some time or to have on in the background. 5 stars. These 9s and 10s are way too high, IMO.