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Reviews
Pontypool (2008)
A zombie movie like you've never seen
If you're willing to put aside your notions of what a zombie movie is supposed to be and pay attention, then this movie will be a treat.
It starts with a small-town radio DJ on his way to work during the wee hours of the morning. After making a stop, he encounters a strange woman who repeats everything he says and disappears. He makes his way to work but soon finds out that there are reports of a riot in town. People are reportedly trying to get into a local doctor's office and appear to be chanting something.
I'll leave it at that but I'll add that this entire movie takes place inside the radio station and there is very little gore. In fact, I'm not even sure you see anyone killed on screen. And there are only four major characters (2 main ones).
Bored? Then I should learn to write better and this probably isn't for you. But if you're intrigued, you should check it out.
The only problem I had with this movie was the explanation for what was going on and why people were acting the way they were. It was a little too vague and felt like a half-baked idea that the movie never really got its teeth into.
But that aside, I can guarantee that you've never seen a similar "virus" in any zombie movie. Truly unique and a nice little movie for a quiet night in.
Oldeuboi (2003)
Stylistically brilliant but way too unbelievable
I know, I know: it's a movie, I'm supposed to suspend my disbelief etc. But even so, I just couldn't buy the ending of this movie.
The story is very good, though, and the plot twists are believable and work well (up until the end). I also loved the contemporary film noir style of this film. Lots of deep, scarlet reds, purples and black illuminated under fluorescent lighting or stark, low-watt bulbs.
An abridged telling of the story would tell you that this is a film about one man's revenge and penance. Dae-su Oh, a notorious drunk, is imprisoned in a nondescript hotel room for 15 years, without being told who imprisoned him or why. After he manages to escape, he finds that things are eerily set-up to ease him back into life on the outside - a homeless man gives him a cell phone and a wallet filled with cash, a young sushi waitress appears to take a shine to him, after passing out in the street, he's immediately picked up and rescued by a stranger.
It would be unfair to give out any other information, since the first two-thirds of this film are deeply satisfying on an intellectual and a sensory level. It's a rich experience and, even with all the blood and grit, there's a sophisticated neatness to each frame. The direction is sublime and I think you could pause any shot and marvel at how gorgeous this film looks. The soundtrack and visuals, together, make for a stunning experience and the performance by Min-sik Choi needs to be seen to be believed.
But then, you get to the last part of the film. The finale, the moment where all will be revealed, and Dae-su is vindicated. And... it all falls a bit flat. IMO. Sure there's a decent twist but I wasn't buying the depths of madness these characters would go to to achieve "revenge". The end seemed a tad illogical and it felt like a cop out, as if the writers couldn't come up with a more realistic scenario.
I read somewhere that's it's based on a Manga, so maybe that's why it's so twisted and maybe the ending makes more sense in a comic book but I wasn't convinced.
I would recommend checking this out, if only because it grips you from the start and because it offers such a rich visual and auditory experience. In the end, though, you might be disappointed.
The Woman in Black (1989)
If you're a fan of ghost stories, you have to check this out
I remember seeing parts of this movie on TV when I was 8 or 9 years old. I never watched it all the way through because it was so scary but I still remember that strange woman lurking in the background in certain scenes. She haunted me as a kid and, after watching it recently, I can honestly say this is a top-notch horror film.
There's something about ghost stories set in Victorian or early-20th century England. That period seems to be rife with stories of this sort - isolated mansions with ghostly legends and lots of superstitious folk. I think one big reason for this is how dark everything probably got after sunset. Not many places had electricity back then so I'm sure a lot of the superstitions were because of shadows and a primal fear of the dark.
This movie tells the story of a young solicitor from London who is sent to settle the estate of a widow who has passed. A few days into his visit, he decides to leave his lodgings and move into the widow's house to finish his work. This is where things begin to go awry as we see the young man fight with his own paranoia or (could it be?) something else. Even though the "woman in black" makes an appearance early on, the director cranks up the tension slowly and the terror peaks at a very appropriate time.
The characters are all quite well-developed but I thought the owner of the law firm could have had more background. He's portrayed as someone who is cold and cowardly but we're never really told why, which makes his motives unclear.
As I said before, I'm partial to this movie and a little biased, so giving it a 9 is probably undeserved in others eyes. But I believe that there should be more movies like this because they tap into a fear that many of us lose after a certain age. Along with The Haunting, Paranormal Activity and The Changeling this has to be one of my favourite ghost movies. It's the kind of movie where there's hardly any violence, not a drop of blood is spilled and yet, you're genuinely scared lying in bed the night you watch it.
Eden Lake (2008)
Grotesque, bleak thriller
This is a great "revenge" flick with a sick ending and plenty of gore. Definitely not for those with high-blood pressure or people who are easily frustrated.
I felt like tearing my hair out after watching the last five minutes of this film. The director really toys with the emotions of revenge, sympathy and anger and the ending isn't wrapped up neatly and folded into the back of your mind. No, this movie may make you want to watch another revenge movie, but a less cultured one that will satisfy the base desire for revenge you will surely feel after it's over.
The storyline is nothing special but it's the secondary characters that make this movie worth it - the locals with their uncouth children will scare you. A school teacher and her boyfriend drive out to the countryside to spend a weekend camping by a lake. They soon find out that the locals are a close-knit bunch and don't take to outsiders kindly. The worst of it comes from a group of teenagers who begin to bully the couple and appear to live by only one moral code: you take care of your own. After an accident leaves a pet dead, things quickly escalate and the young couple soon find themselves fighting for their lives as they discover that these kids will stop at nothing for revenge.
What surprised me most about this movie was that it starts out by having the main character take the moral high ground but has her descend into a perverse sense of justice by the end. This isn't a preachy movie but there is definitely a good deal of social commentary on youth culture in the UK during the past few years. The ending has a dark sense of humour about it too and you'll probably be screaming as you punch walls in frustration at the conclusion.
End of the Line (2007)
Above average horror film but poorly acted
I really want to see what Maurice Devereaux will come up with in the future. He's got a lot of great ideas in this film and I'd like to see what he's capable of with a good set of actors and a decent budget. I really enjoyed this; it's got so much heart and does all the right things but, as it stands, it falls a bit short of its potential. It's a great low-budget horror film but it tries to be more than that and doesn't quite make it.
The storyline and plot are both excellent and, while not wholly original, are miles ahead of the cookie cutter garbage that passes for "horror" these days. This is definitely a "horror" film in every sense of the word - plenty of scares, a supernatural undercurrent, impending doom and a strong religious theme. A special note should be given to the atmosphere in this film. Even with low production values, the director created an apocalyptic world that felt like it was closing in on you. The results are pretty horrifying.
Basically, a group of people on a late night subway train find themselves stranded when the power goes out. As the passengers wait, a prominent cult leader contacts his followers and tells them that the rapture is imminent. He orders them to "save" (translation: kill with crucifix daggers and sabres) all the non-believers around them.
Many cultists are on the train and begin slaying people but a group of passengers manage to get away and find refuge in a nearby service point. Cell phones, radios and TVs are all of no use and we find out later that the cult leader has taken over a TV station and is broadcasting the mayhem going on in the city and around the world.
From the start there are scenes that are designed to make you jump and lots of strange occurrences that begin to make sense as the movie progresses. Unless you're really perceptive, I doubt you'll get everything on a first viewing, probably because you'll be busy trying not to sh!t your pants during the first 15 minutes.
All this mystery would be fine if this was a more straightforward movie but I still had questions after watching it a second time. Not major questions just little things that nag me as I write this review. The ending was good, though, and I think I got it. The director did say that he wanted to leave it open so that people would discuss the movie and he definitely succeeded.
If you can put up with the amateur acting and are willing to invest some thought into it, this is a great little horror movie.
Orphan (2009)
All-round great thriller/horror but a bit derivative
You've probably seen at least a couple of "evil children" movies before so this one won't offer you much that is new or unique. With a running time of two hours, it also could have been a little shorter but the pacing and suspense will keep you engaged. What places this well-above the standard thriller is the acting, character development and the unusual ending. I'll be honest, I wanted to scream like a little girl (no pun intended) when I realised the twisted secret.
The movie opens with a nightmarish scene, which (in hindsight) seemed a little out of place. This isn't a "horror" film, it's more of a psychological thriller with a lot of great drama and humour thrown in. The latter seems unintentional at times but adds a layer of complexity to the film because it makes the horrific scenes more disturbing, and complements the maniacal orphan character perfectly.
The storyline is pretty straightforward. A woman (Kate Coleman) loses a child due to a miscarriage and, after years of guilt and torment, she and her husband (John) decide to adopt a girl. The orphan, Esther, is a shy but intelligent Russian girl with a real talent for painting but a mysterious past. There's also a sinister undercurrent to Kate's idyllic home-life as we soon learn that she was an alcoholic and this may have been the cause of her miscarriage. Her husband, John, is no saint either as we find out that he was unfaithful to her. Her daughter had always wanted a sister and immediately latches onto Esther but her son is apprehensive about the new girl. She dresses funny and seems cold and methodical.
The last half hour of this movie really ratchets up the tension and the scene where John is lying on the sofa after getting drunk on wine, still makes me uneasy. I think guys will be more unnerved by this scene than girls.
Just thinking of it again... Oh God, it's so creepy. There is no other word for it. Creepy.
Watch it on a Friday night with friends and you won't be disappointed.
District 9 (2009)
Why can't they make more movies like this?
I'm not a science fiction fan at all so maybe I don't know what I'm talking about and being too generous by giving this movie a 9/10. But this really is one of the most stunning movies I saw this year. It's so weird (in a good way) that you can't help but applaud the filmmaker for having the guts to make a movie like this.
The film is set in an alternate reality and starts by telling us of an alien spaceship that stalled over Johannesburg, SA in the 1980s. Nothing emerges from the ship so the SA govt sends a team to explore it and they find it filled with aliens. They're malnourished and in need of attention so they bring them down and set up a community for them to live in. This area soon becomes a militarised slum (District 9).
Skip forward about 20 years and we are introduced to Wikus van de Merwe who is in charge of relocating aliens to a new area. Legally, the govt. needs the signed consent of the aliens to move them and it's his job to get their signature and deal with any unruly aliens. Things don't go as planned and Wilke is forced to face up to some ugly realities.
The story, special effects and message are all great. It switches between "documentary" footage and the feature film to give it a sense of authenticity and there's also a great sense of humour, which caught me off guard but didn't seem out of place.
What I loved about this movie was how realistic it felt. Every other alien movie you've seen has a showdown between the two races and it's either us or the alien race as the aggressor. This movie treats the aliens more as a different race than as dangerous visitors. Initially, there are no fireworks, no display of superiority, instead the showdown is in the form of a bizarre refugee crisis as South Africans are forced to coexist with their new neighbours.
There are some slow parts during the second half, which fu cks with the pacing but these are forgivable flaws in a movie this unique.
Easily one of the best movies I saw this year.
The Descent (2005)
One of the most suspenseful movies I've ever seen
This is easily one of the most uncomfortable movie experiences I've had the pleasure of sitting through. The atmosphere once the women are inside the cave is absolutely suffocating. I watched this on my 17" laptop screen and was squirming as the women squeezed through those tiny spaces.
And the scene where Sarah gets stuck... oh god. Still makes me shift about as I think of it.
(SPOILERS) My only real complaint with this movie was the introduction of the "crawlers". Although they add a whole new sense of terror, I just found them to be too ordinary. It's almost like a little Hollywood attention to the monsters could have helped the movie. I did find a few inconsistencies, though. They are blind but have an acute sense of hearing and smell and yet they continually pass by the women. I don't know if I missed something but I would have thought that even a whisper would have given them away but, evidently, there was some other factor (i.e. they are figments of Sarah's imagination). (END OF SPOILERS)
This movie was great. The story line might be a little clichéd but this is a great horror/thriller in the tradition of The Shining and Session 9.
Poltergeist (1982)
Too much Hollywood makes this a dull movie
I decided to revisit this movie after more than 10 years and was disappointed. If you saw this as a kid in the late 80s/early 90s you were probably as terrified as I was. Unfortunately this movie just hasn't aged well at all. The special effects look juvenile but that's not even my main problem with this movie. Personally, I couldn't stand the bombast, the hammy acting, the melodrama and the god-awful depiction of "ghosts" as lonely spirits. Give me a break.
It honestly felt more like a Disney live action cartoon than a horror movie. On top of that the story jumped around with little to no explanation. The little girl disappears, the boy is almost swallowed by a tree and no one sees this? Their neighbours must have been deaf and blind to have missed what was going on next door.
But it wasn't all bad. Like I said, this movie terrified me when I was younger and I think most kids would still be scared of this movie (though they would probably laugh at the special effects). The clown doll, the ominous tree, the skin peeling scene are all pretty scary (the last one isn't really for kids at all).
Check this out if you haven't already, you might like it. Just remember that it was made in the early 80s.
The Big Bang Theory (2007)
Some funny bits but ultimately generic comedy
I hate most sitcoms. They're predictable, they use stereotypes like a sort of cultural shorthand and rarely are they funny. Actually, that is unless you enjoy one-liners, catch phrases and jokes that are set up with big flashing lights and signs that tell you "Hey! This is funny! Laugh!"
There's very little to laugh about in this sitcom, though it does have its moments. Unfortunately, it appears to focus all its jokes on the incompetence of four socially inept "nerds". The chemistry between them is good but whenever there is any kind of interaction with an external character, they start to get unbearably annoying. I couldn't help thinking how much funnier a show centering on Sheldon (complete with inner monologues) would have been. As it is, he can be likable or loathsome.
Leonard is the main character, though you wouldn't know that because he isn't particularly charming or endearing. He just whines about things and lives with the neurotic Sheldon. I don't know why Leonard puts up with Sheldon's sh*t but he and the other characters do and this usually makes up the storyline of an entire episode.
Raj is a stereotype of the "typical" South Asian guy who is shy around girls and speaks with an accent. Howard is a stereotype of the "typical" desperate Jewish guy who is relentlessly horny but manages to drive away most girls he meets.
Penny (the girl next door) was the only redeeming factor for me. I guess that makes me shallow but I just found her to be a very attractive and wholesome alcoholic. Oh, and she's a stereotype of the dumb blonde.
The laugh track is one of the worst I've heard in any sitcom. It's bad enough that it sounds detached and unrelated to the respective scene, but in this show it's just so loud and obnoxious.
All these shortcomings could be forgiven if there was decent writing involved but that isn't usually the case. The last episode I saw involved Sheldon running away from Penny and Sheldon (who had an argument), Raj (arguing with his parents) and Howard (arguing with his Mum). That was the entire episode. People arguing and Sheldon trying to get away from them.
If you like sitcoms you'll probably like this because it's more of the same. If not, then I'd stay away from this.
Låt den rätte komma in (2008)
Atypical vampire movie
Even if you're not a fan of the vampire genre I would strongly recommend this movie. The vampire theme is actually quite subdued so that it feels like you're watching a movie about adolescence with a vague nod to vampire mythology.
I think this will soon be considered a modern classic because of the way it portrays adolescent loneliness against the cold, bare backdrop of suburban Sweden - even though it seems like a strange, faraway land, we've all been there. More than anything, this is a film about friendship and acceptance with an undercurrent of the macabre as you find out more about why this vampire may be befriending a young boy.
Oskar is a 12 year old with no friends who is bullied at school. His domestic life is not much better as his parents are separated/divorced and, as a result, he spends most of his time alone, collecting newspaper entries or playing with his knife. In fact, he acts out his fantasies with this knife, pretending to confront his tormentors.
Then a new girl (Eli) moves into the apartment next door with a man. She looks androgynous but Oskar likes her anyway and, in typical adolescent male fashion, tells her she smells funny, acts tough and pretends he doesn't like her.
There's not much more to it than that - this is a simple story. But the way it's told, the pacing and gorgeous cinematography all keep you invested as a viewer until the end, where you get a well-deserved payoff. There are quite a few scenes that you'll want to rewind and watch again because they're so outrageous and the ending is absolutely stunning. The gore is tastefully portrayed and the special effects are top-notch. But those are just cosmetic enhancements to an already beautiful movie and one you should definitely check out.
Highly recommended.
Paranormal Activity (2007)
If you liked The Haunting, Blair Witch Project, The Changeling etc...
I prefer horror movies and ghost stories that are about something that isn't tangible. Movies like that force our imagination to run wild and leave you feeling like a raw nerve up until the climax when you get the payoff - a big scare and (sometimes) a revelation about the being itself.
Anyone who's lived in an old, creaky house during their childhood will probably remember getting scared by noises, a tap on the window or a dark figure in the corner. Of course, there was nothing there but the feeling you had then was a sort of helpless terror. A feeling triggered by an over-active imagination, a belief in ghosts and a primal fear of the dark.
OK, I'll stop with my personal gushing over how scary my pathetic childhood was but I wanted to explain why I personally found this movie so scary. Sure there are no big scares until the end but you can feel the tension go up a few notches each time it switches to those god damned night-vision shots.
It's definitely not a flawless movie but it's simplicity is endearing and (if it hadn't been for the obnoxious viral marketing campaign) I would have given it a higher score. I loved it but this was one of the most over hyped movies of the decade and that ruined it for a lot of viewers.
It doesn't really matter, though. In the end, you'll either love it or hate it. Just watch it alone, with the lights out, in a creaky house and see how long it takes you to fall asleep that night.
Martyrs (2008)
The images in this movie will stay with you for a while
This is a movie that you may not have heard about if it weren't for all the buzz that it's gotten on horror forums during the past year. It's like a specialised slice of cinema (giallo torture horror?) that is being touted as art because of its unflinching attempts to shock you. But this felt a little empty to me. It's one of those "cool" movies that you mention to show how edgy you are but soon realise, in a few years (when you're 19) that it doesn't have much substance. I think this movie could have been more effective if it had been reduced to an hour in length.
The storyline is great. The movie starts with a young girl (Lucie) who escapes a torture chamber and later finds refuge in an orphanage. There she befriends another girl (Anna) who cares for her and helps her deal with the psychological trauma she's endured. We also learn that Lucie is regularly attacked by some sort of creature. The story quickly shifts forward 15 years and we are shown a family having breakfast. I won't go into what follows because the first half of this movie will get your blood pumping.
However, by the halfway mark I was, quite honestly, a little bored. You are inundated with imagery that is intended to shock and it actually desensitizes you to a degree (or maybe I've seen too many horror films). Then there's a twist. The plot takes a turn and you don't quite know where it's taking you but it keeps you on the edge of your seat. Unfortunately, you're forced to watch another 45 minutes of similarly shocking scenes just to get to the end. Whether or not it's worth it is a matter of personal taste.
I wanted to like this film. It's bold, the storyline is good and the plot twist works really well. I've also seen exploitation films more violent than this, so it's not that I couldn't stomach the gore. I just felt that the relentless graphic scenes (particularly towards the end) did little to further the story. This is a film that, in a way, works backwards: we see the effects of torture and then are made to "symbolically" endure it for another 45 minutes. The ending is good because it ties everything together and is ambiguous enough to get you thinking, but I can't help but think that we could have gotten there earlier and with a little less pain.
Session 9 (2001)
Great horror film but requires some effort from the viewer
This is a thinking man's horror film so if you're looking for gore and cheap scares, this won't be your cup of tea.
That said, this is an accomplished psychological horror film similar to The Descent and The Shining, in that it scares you with its atmosphere and fills you with a sense of foreboding.
Let's start with the setting - an abandoned asylum. You immediately know you're in for some scares but this movie doesn't do that by making you jump or attempt to gross you out with blood and guts. This is a movie that weaves a dark, intricate web around you and, before you know it, you're unable to move and waiting for the inevitable horror that is to follow.
The storyline is simple but effective. Basically, a contractor (Gordon) has agreed to clear the old asylum of asbestos within a week. Gordon and his team of four men are unique, well-developed and totally believable. All of them are sufficiently likable and each of them have weaknesses, some have dreams. Gordon's nephew, for example, is apathetic and has a fear of the dark, Mike dropped out of law school but wants to return, Phil is resentful of one of the other men for stealing his girlfriend, Gordon has just had a baby and is struggling to make ends meet. It's these details that make you empathise with the five men and what makes the end of this movie so bleak and horrifying.
A special mention should be given to the music, which is essential to the atmosphere of the film: sparse, unsettling and perfect for a movie that takes place inside an old asylum. I also liked the image of the wheelchair (gave me flashbacks of The Changeling) and the way the tapes of a former patient, Mary, intertwine with the plot.
This is a movie that may require multiple viewings because you'll definitely have questions once it's over. There are times when I didn't think things were adequately explained but, again, multiple viewings could clear up those apparent discrepancies. Overall this is a great psychological horror film and one you need shut up and pay attention to.
The Invention of Lying (2009)
Good concept but lacks a decent plot/story
It's seldom that we see a good concept fully realised on film. For some reason, most movies with a unique starting point (especially comedies) fail to deliver when it comes to the plot or the storyline. This is usually forgivable in a comedy because the movie does what it's supposed to do - make you laugh - even if you're left with an empty feeling once it's over.
This was a fantastic concept that got off to a shaky start, showed great potential but quickly lost steam. Simply said, there wasn't a whole lot going on. Gervais' character was genuinely kindhearted and maybe that was the problem. In a world where he's been forced to take a backseat to better looking, more successful and openly rude people, I can't help but think that he'd be more bitter. This could have led to more character development and a better storyline.
I also didn't buy the fact that people would be rude because they didn't know how to lie. This would be true if you're asking someone a question or greeting them, but would a waiter insult a customer (as he does at the start)? I doubt it. This is nitpicking, of course, but I might have been too busy laughing to care if there were more funny bits.
In the real world, where we are presumed to be liars and thieves, this movie seemed like a fresh, heartwarming concept. Ironically it didn't deliver on its promise.
(I do love Gervais' comedy, though, and if anyone's interested, they should check out his and Stephen Merchant's XFM radio series. It's available for free and is some of the funniest stuff I've ever heard. Promise.)
Final Destination 2 (2003)
Sucked
Yeah this movie was about as lame as a teen-thriller flick can get. The accident at the start was cool because it was so ridiculously over the top but you soon realise that they're trying to be serious when they show you stuff like that. Just before it we see a series of signs that something bad is going to happen... like a kid banging together toy trucks. Whatever could that mean? Some of the deaths are so unbelievable that no amount of editing, camera shaking and screaming is going to convince me of what's about to happen. Like the lady that gets decapitated in the elevator. Her pony or plait gets caught on pile of prosthetic limbs?! If there were any good parts I might have missed them because I stopped paying attention about 20 mins into the movie. The plot is recycled Hollywood garbage and acting isn't any better. The only thing that kept me watching was the hope that the main characters would soon die in some agonising way and put me out of my misery.
I do like to give films a chance to impress me, which is why I watch them (even bad ones) all the way through. This, though, was utter s hite.