Reviews

The House By The Cemetary - 1981 (This Film Rates a B+ ) It starts off bloody with a woman being brutally killed by being stabbed in the head with a knife. It goes right through and out of her gaping mouth. Sometime later a new family moves into the same house. Just before the move a little boy named Bob is staring into a large, framed picture of what seems to be the original house. He sees a little girl in a window telling him not to move into the house and then sees her in the street. Of course, only the Bob sees her. The new house is not in the best of condition and is in need of repairs. Soon they meet Ann who is the young and creepy babysitter. They also find an indoor tomb underneath the floorboards labeled "Jacob Tess Freudstein". The house is alive with spirits and has the funniest bat attack I have ever seen. Meanwhile the husband watches and does nothing. It's so not necessary but trashy fun! Later, Ann is decapitated in gruesome fashion and then all hell breaks loose until the maggot infested twisted end. The gore scenes are so Fulci; Graphically overlong, fake and full of spurting blood. The acting is atrocious. The whole not taking your medication drama sequence at the 19 min mark. Plus, Bob is annoying throughout most of the film. There are some nice intense moments such as the 1 hour 11 min mark when Bob is locked in the cellar. The soundtrack is decent for what it is but often times over dramatized. Vintage 1980's New England is pretty phenomenal. Sadly, very brief T in the beginning and that is it.

The Witch That Came From The Sea - 1976 (This Films Rates a A ) Aunt Molly is a bit out there and she idolizes her sea captain father who was lost at sea 15 years before. Cathy, her sister tells the complete opposite stories. She tells of physical/sexual abuse but Molly disagrees and states it never happened. Molly has very vivid dreams/hallucinations involving tying up two football players during a long sexual excursion. She castrates and kills them. Sadly, the gore is mainly off screen. Was this all a dream, did it really happen? Is she murderously insane? Eventually Cathy becomes suspicious that Molly killed the football players. Molly keeps killing all the way to her twisted spiraling out of control, suicidal end. The dream sequences are funny, crazy and somewhat hypnotic. She is intense with each encounter including breaking both wrists of a movie producer she was about to have sex with or her final farewell speech. Sometimes so full of anger and hate. The script is funny and full of nonsense dialogue (The whole bar sequence at the 25 mins mark). The sound is pretty poor overall. The acting isn't perfect but Molly is a real highlight playing the perfect psychotic psychopath. Much of the gore and effects are borderline mediocre, fake looking and non-convincing. Some T&A. Some drug use. And a sick tale of sexual molestation that is all too real.

The Wizard Of Gore - 1970 (This Films Rates a A- ) Montag is the master of illusion, magician if you will.

His dark tantalizing speeches as he introduces himself to the audience are primally thought provoking and suave. He is fascinating and magnificent. Montag performs graphic and grisly illusions of mutilation on female volunteers. The hypnotized audience loves it! And while appearing to be unharmed initially, with the exception of some trance like behaviors, each one of them die some time later. A news reporter (Sherry) and her boyfriend (Jack) begin to suspect that Montag is behind the deaths and begin fishing around for evidence, including attending every show. The magician accepts an invitation to do a fire trick, "his greatest illusion ever", while on Sherry's tv show. This time he has a larger captive audience, literally. Everything gets bizarre from there and your reality begins to fade away. The effects are laughably maddening and over the top. Overlong death scenes are fake yet still blood filled. A 1970's overly intense, quirky and twisted soundtrack. The script is decent enough however the acting is pretty lackluster, with the exception of Montag on stage (1hour 24 min mark). The original story line builds well and is spectacular even if the effects could not match. Set and setting are cheap, drab and staged looking. But no matter how bad everything is, this film succeeds on many levels. And of course that 1970's Montag stache.

Mary, Mary, Bloody Mary - 1975 (This Films Rates a C ) Sadly the reliability of that old Volkswagen bus has run its course and Mary Gilmore (an artist) breaks down on the back roads during a thunderstorm. Luckily she runs into another stuck motorist named Ben who is also staying at this abandoned home. Then it flashes back to when Mary seduces and kills a man from the American Embassy by stabbing him in the neck and drinking his blood. It does not take long for the police and FBI to get involved. They find other victims who were drugged and drained of their blood. Meanwhile Ben quickly fixes Mary's Volkswagen and offers him a ride and breakfast but never leaves. Mary continues to drug men and women leaving their bodies lifeless and bloodless. She apparently is not the only one hunting, killing and drinking blood. A man dressed in black with a black mask is also partaking in the bloodlust, except his kills are more violent. Mary soon learns that it is her father but this is no friendly relationship. The acting is really poor. The whole dramatic 'almost getting run over by a car' scene at the 1 hour mark. Or how quick that car burst into flames at the 1 hour 22 minute mark. The gore effects are tame, limited and mostly suggestive. What's with that shark killing on the beach? There is 70's T&A, a porn music soundtrack and an element of lesbianism. Oddly enough it takes over 14 minutes before the opening credits start. Nothing about this is terrible, there just isn't enough film meat. This includes the ending that just kind of ends. To its credit the beach scenes just before the 20 minute mark are truly beautiful.

Motel Hell - 1980 (This Films Rates a A- ) When the neon 'O' fizzles out in the Motel Hello sign it becomes Motel Hell for real. Farmer Vincent and his sister Ida own Vincents Smoked Meats and the meats are human flesh. After shooting out the tires of two on a motorcycle, the driver dies and the female passenger named Terry stays at the hotel. She meets Bruce, the cop, Vincents younger brother. The farmers secret garden is filled with victims buried to their heads in dirt. The vocal chords have been cut and their guttural screams are broadcasted throughout. The victims seem to be plentiful thanks to the farmers sabotage. Eventually many of the buried victims escape from their dirt graves, attack and kill Ida. Though she does not go without a snicker. Terry is rescued by Bruce and well it just kind of ends without excitement. So much of the film is filled with unintentional laughter especially Vincent and Ida's crazy relationship. Sometimes it is psychotically perfect, other times its just too darn hokey. For example; the crazy whip lady at the 51 minute mark and the whole swingers scene right after. The worst has to be Vincent's melodramatic death scene at the 1 hour 36 min mark. There are some nice tense moments in this film. The twin girls walking through the butchering shop and getting the scare of their lives or when Ida tries to drown Terry after a day of tubing. Maybe its the whole tripped out trance sequence at the 1 hour 12 minute mark. Or the overlong duel involving Vincent with a pig head on. All this as Terry is strapped to the conveyer belt with a slicer attached. These scenes really make this film. Overall it is sick, twister and quite unique with almost no gore and very brief moments of T&A.

Attack Of The Mushroom People (AKA: Matango) - 1963 (This Film Rates an A ) The film opens with a professor named Kenji Murai who is in a psychiatric hospital in Tokyo. It quickly changes to a flashback with a group of passengers on a yacht enjoying a day filled with sun and ocean. A fierce storm sets in and the badly damaged yacht barely escapes. Its adrift and lands on a deserted island. Of course the passengers want to explore all that it has to offer, including the forest full of mushrooms. Soon they find an abandoned wrecked ship on the island. Its covered with a slimy brown fungus. The group soon discovers a large Mantango mushroom growing in the research lab of the ship. Its brief. After reading the ships log they find out the ship was involved in nuclear research. The captain warns everyone not to eat the mushrooms because they could be poisonous plus the log book warns them not too. Of course no one listens and well they mostly all die. The hallucinogenic mushrooms take control of their minds and these sequences are truly a mind trip (1 hour 15 min mark). Those who eat the mushrooms start to turn into them. Soon, the forest is alive with growing mushrooms some of which are now full grown eating machines. Its ends back in the psychiatric ward in Tokyo with a lack luster ending. So much of this film looks fake, like the initial storm in the beginning or any scenes really. Much of it builds with intensity and only a few lingering moments. The dubbing isn't so bad but is overly dramatic. No blood, gore or T&A, but this film is like no other!

Spellcaster - 1988 (released in 1992) (This Film Rates a B- ) Adam Ant as Diablo! Total late 1980's early 1990's feel from the music to the artsy fartsy production. Brother and sister Tom and Jackie (Lost orphans) win a radio contest where they are to participate in a treasure hunt in Italy. There are several other annoying rich eccentric narcissistic characters who have also won the contest. The ultimate prize is one million dollars and the first to find the check in the castle wins. After a shady deal the contest is rigged. One by one each contestant is killed off as the house comes alive through black magic and selling of souls. You won't care who gets killed off because they all deserve it and everyone gets a second chance in the end. Everything about this film is overdone. Its total cheese and filled with cheap MTV effects. Laughable throughout whether intentional or not. No T&A. Plus watching a true desperate alcoholic licking alcohol off the floor is fun. Its not great but it sure is fun.

Bay Of Blood - 1971 (This Film Rates a A ) The film starts off with a wheelchair bound countess being strangled to death by her husband one dark and stormy night. He leaves a handwritten suicide note on a table and is stabbed to death shortly after. His body is then dumped into the bay. The police investigate the death of the countess and find the suicide note but never find the husbands body. Meanwhile, Frank, a real estate agent and his girlfriend Laura, plot to take over the bay that the countess refused to sell. A group of horny teenagers break into the mansion and enjoy all that it has to offer. One by one they are killed in over dramatic fashion. The estranged daughter shows up seeking answers but ultimately to ensure she inherits the estate. Of course, there is also Simon, the illegitimate son. Suddenly everyone wants to murder each other and no one can be trusted. This also has an ending you never saw coming. Some irony and cheese. It all works. The gore is violent, bloody, effective and plentiful. Good solid kills for a 70's horror. Plus a large squid eating a dead body. And thank goodness we no longer need to use a phone book to call the police (58 minute mark). The acting is impressive for this genre. Some brief T&A. The soundtrack fits and has a wide variety of music. Plus, a beautiful on the bay set.

Blood And Black Lace - 1965 (This Films Rates a B ) A model named Isabella is brutally murdered by a white masked assailant one stormy night. Its dark but effective. The police are on scene the next morning and interview everyone at this large house of fashion. The police also visit a drug addicted antique dealer that Isabella was helping to break his addiction. He is connected to all the murders. A diary is found and everyone seems to be very alarmed. It contains many secrets and is supposed to be given to the police but just doesn't seem to make it there. A second model is killed and a search of her belongings in hopes of finding the diary fails. The third model burns the diary and is beaten by our masked killer. She is interrogated, pulls off the killers mask and then is burned to death. Several men are accused and interviewed leaving a multitude of suspects. Sometime later the police discover the several bodies in one location and releases all of the suspects since they were in custody during the murders. Upon release, the killer is revealed. But, its not what you expect. Plus there is one more murder that needs to be completed. Yet in the end, betrayal never wins. There isn't much gore to be seen but the killings are brutal and mostly believable. Its well paced with a fair amount of suspense plus has an above average fitting soundtrack. The dubbing is less than desirable compared to the original version but its not awful. Nothing here is perfect but has a high level of seriousness, commitment and the belief by everyone involved. For this reason the films short comings are hardly disappointing.

Devils Story - 1986 (This Film Rates a B- ) The film starts off with a grunting mutant zombie who kills two clueless campers. One is even skipping through the woods with a hand full of sticks. The first few deaths happen rather quickly, plus there is a mysterious wandering cat that has entrancing powers. It features a disfigured nazi zombie, a devils riding horse, a mummy, some woman who rises from the dead, and an old man who are all searching for a pirates lost treasure. How does all this fit together? None of that really matters because nothing makes sense. There is so much to laugh at here whether intentional or not. The acting is bottom of the barrel. Cheap, bargain basement effects ie the toy ship rising from the miniature ground scene. There is plenty of fake blood that is always pumping out. Terrible script with over dramatic acting, reminiscent of a high school play. The whole story is nonsense and many of the sequences last way too long ie the old man shooting at the horse or the mutant getting kicked by the horse a few times. That slow motion fall just before the 54 minute mark. Its painful to endure. Everything here is all pure schlock and its really a terrible film yet somehow it manages to be a whole lot of fun.

(This Films Rates A- ) A B&W film featuring Barbara Steele. The opening sequence takes place in the 1600's in Moldavia. It features a vampire witch, Asa and her male assistant, Javutich, being brutally tortured. The effects are mainly implied but still very haunting. She puts a curse on the descendants of the town before dying a horrible death. Flash forward "2 centuries later". Dr. Kruajan, his assistance and Dr. Gorobec are enroute to a medical conference when their carriage has some major wheel issues. They stumble onto Asa's tomb and after the fakest looking bat fight scene (at the 13 minute mark), a shot is fired and ooops, that and a few drops of the doctors blood, Asa comes back to life. The doctors meet Katia who tells them that her family lives in a haunted castle nearby. Asa telepathically instructs Javutich to rise from the dead. In a trance Dr. Kruajan kisses Asa becoming her servant for life. Initially the crucifix seems to prevent the demise of some, but eventually lives succumb to death, including the draining of Katia's lifeforce. In the end the townspeople burn Asa to death and Katia returns from the dead. This is well photographed with good artistic integrity. Even the darkest of scenes are moody and atmospheric. The story has nice build and with decent pace, aside from a few slow moments sprinkled in. The acting is average overall, but Barbara Steele is just great. The soundtrack creates some intensity throughout the busy script. No gore and no T&A. There are many imperfections here but overall its an effective 60's horror film.

Macabre - 1983 (This Film Rates a B ) Early 80's New Orleans. A mother of two children named Jane, is having an affair with a man named Fred. The oldest daughter Lucy becomes suspicious of her mothers behaviors. Jane meets Fred at her rented apartment (aside from her house) which is run by Mrs. Duval. Mrs. Duval also has a blind son named Robert. Robert is apparently used to hearing them have sex. Meanwhile Lucy drowns her younger brother in the bathtub and stages it as an accident. After a frantic phone call, Fred and Jane race to the house. Sadly Fred dies in a horrific car accident involving death by guardrail. Its not overly graphic but suitable. Fast forward a year later. Jane is now separated from her husband. The house is now run by Robert after his mother died. Jane returns to the same untouched room permanently and sets up a small enshrined area to Fred in which she masturbates too (off screen). Janes ex-husband and Lucy come to visit the next morning. Its rather awkward and clumsy. At some point Robert and a friend learn that Jane has been in a psychiatric hospital for the past year. Jane has a secret something locked up in her college sized freezer. Thats right, its Fred's frozen severed head. And she likes to masturbate to it. Both Robert and Lucy discover the head at different times. That weekend Lucy cooks a soup for her mother and Robert. Lucy serves soup with an earlobe she found in her mothers room and Jane freaks out. Lucy then confesses how she killed her brother. In a fit of rage Jane strangles her own daughter. She is losing it real fast. But Fred's head is just so irresistible. Robert makes sure that her face winds up on the red hot oven just to finally end it all. But there is that ending you never saw coming. So overdramatic acting like the frantic car ride that led to Freds death at the 12:15 minute mark or when Lucy meets her mother after a years absence at the 33 minute mark or the sex with a severed head sequence at the 1 hour 6 minute mark. Its all rather sub par (mainly Lucy) but this does not seem to get in the way of the overall story. It is slow building but does have some good suspense. This is more giallo than horror. After the first two deaths, you don't see any more until close to the end, however, it all fits together for one macabre film. T positive with brief full frontal nudity. But not a lot of it. The soundtrack is full of cheesy melodramatic jazz and not much of a highlight though there are some great street shots of 80's New Orleans. The last 25 minutes of this film make it for what it is.

Murder Mansion (aka: La mansión de la niebla) - 1972 (The Film Rates a F- ) The film opens up with a few groups of people travelling the backroads via car and motorcycle. Eventually weather drives them all to this old mansion in the middle of nowhere. There is a cemetery right next to the house. These people are the worst drivers!

They are all gathered in Clue like fashion. The house is apparently haunted, and each guest is murdered one by one. The build is painfully slow and takes an hour before the first death or any real hauntings are to be seen. There is no real horror or suspense here. NONE! There are also no gore effects or real scares. No T&A. For these reasons alone the movie fails. The Spanish to English dubbing is decent enough and the acting adequate but not spectacular. The script is terrible and under developed. There are so many places that scream "low budget" but not in a good way. The sounds, scenes and set are so fake and do not fit well. At times the soundtrack sounds exactly like one of those old Halloween sounds on vinyl. It is also intermingled with some old time jazz which is very good. Nothing really seems to fit here though. If it wasn't for this review I would have turned the film off already. This is a do not watch for any reason film.

Alice, Sweet Alice - 1976 (This Film Rates a B ) The film takes place in 1961, New Jersey. A young girl Karen played by Brooke Shields, is about to receive her first communion. Her sister Alice becomes jealous and starts to torment and bully her. However, Karen is strangled in church by an unknown assailant wearing a translucent mask. The mothers ex-husband starts to investigate the murder but the police are also interested in the case. Her overly bitchy mother (Annie) moves in to help out and Alice is not a fan. The family start to suspect that Alice killed Karen and the police are a bit suspicious as well. The rather obese cat daddy neighbor tries to molest her while she is delivering the rent money. He is dirty and disgusting. But that poor kitty! The masked figure attacks Annie on the stairs in an overdramatic but gripping sequence. Alice is sent to a psychiatric unit and states that Karen tried to kill Annie not her. The ex/detective receives an odd call from someone claiming to be Annie's daughter and that she has the crufix belonging to Karen. He learns of the killers real identity before he dies. The reveal is a little anti climatic but the death has some intensity. Eventually a pathologist is able to rule out poor Alice as a suspect. The real killer is a bit off kilter since the death of her own daughter on the same day as this communion. She kills the pervert neighbor but is spotted fleeing the scene by police. She has one more kill before its all over, right in front of the whole church congregation. But in the end, Alice might not be so innocent after all. The ending is a little bit of a downer. The build is spectacular even though some of the camera shots/angles aren't particularly great. At times its hard not to laugh even if not intentional. The chaotic church scene, The whole cake interaction at the 22 minute mark with the obese neighbor was a bit weird. The reaction of the congregation at the end was puzzling. It's not overly gory but what is present is top notch. Its just to quick for the eye and not often enough. The script is above average for a slasher film even if overlong. The acting is fairly decent, some average highlights and some not so good ones. It really is overdramatic like the 46:40 min mark at the hospital. For the most part, the soundtrack is spot on. A real mixture of vintage sounds. But it all fits. A lot of religious overtones and church scenes throughout. No T&A. It's an odd but sinister film.

Cannibal Ferox (AKA Make Them Die Slowly) - 1981 (This Film Rates a B ) This film starts off with scenes of vintage New York City streets versus the sparsely populated Amazonian village near where cannibalism has been rumored to be. Its easy to get immersed in each story but the transitions start out from no where. Three scientific friends head to the dense jungle to prove that cannibals do not exist. They are crude and seem to be rather unprepared for jungle life. Plus, drinking liquor doesn't sound like a smart idea. The three run into two drug dealers (Mike and Joe) who claim to have been attacked by cannibals. One of the scientists goes missing and the group set out to find her. They find a village with several dead, decomposing bodies and a non-communicating tribe. They capture two tribe members and murder one. But not all agree with this behavior. Joe, on his death bed, confesses the true story of why they were attacked. Mike had went on a cocaine fueled murder rampage that lead to brutal torture. This was more than enough for the tribe who seek out revenge. The tribe kills and tortures the invaders. Castration and eaten. Pirahna attack. Poison dart, severed limbs and other cruel means of torture. A search crew is sent out to find the group but are unsuccessful and leave. One of the scientists escapes with the help of a tribesman and a two trappers. She lies about what really happens, moves back to NY and publishes a book that also supports the lie. There are many instances of animal violence ala Cannibal Holocaust and NOT for the faint of heart. You see plenty of animal on animal violence. The gore is real on many occasions while others are intense and fake even if not frequent enough. Crappy lines like; "Kill two parrots with one cracker", "Like it twat!", "A hot pussy little whore", "Why, don't die now". The acting is bad but decent enough to get through the film. The soundtrack is pretty cheesy, its vintage sounding but fits well enough. There are some T&A . The theme of civil versus savage is better portrayed in Cannibal Holocaust but this has plenty of blood.

Bloody Moon - 1981 (This Film Rates a D- ) This film opens with Miguel, a facially disfigured man, attempt to deceive and rape a young female only to brutally kill her with a pair of scissors in her boarding room. Five years later he is released from a mental institution in the care of his sister (Manuela) and two others (the bitchy aunt in a wheelchair and Maria, the countess). Manuela runs a boarding school for young women but also has an incestuous relationship with her brother. It also features Angela who is the student now occupying that same room of the murdered student. She starts having auditory and visual hallucinations and witnesses murders. She decides to pack her bags and leave but winds up barricading herself in the room. Angela is tormented and her friends are killed. Come to find out the brother Miguel isn't really the current killer after all. The ending sequence is just crap. Ufff, the dubbing is truly horrid, over dramatic and just full of so much nonsense dialog. The acting is bad and some scenes are just laughable even though not intended to be so. Cheap and poorly done scares that only prolong the agony between kills. Another horrible cat scare tactic at the 1 hour 3 minute mark. The gore effects are decent but not often enough. What was the fake looking boulder thing at the 46:40 minute mark? There are numerous boobie scenes. Great 80's disco style soundtrack that is one of the only highlights to this film.

Blood Rage (AKA: Slasher) - 1987 (This Film Rates a B ) The film starts off at a drive in theatre in 1974. Two young twin boys (Terry and Todd) escape their mothers vehicle as she is having sexual relations in the front seat. It turns very bloody and one of the twins is locked up in a psychiatric ward for 10 years (for a crime he did not commit). Flash forward to 1984 and taking place on Thanksgiving, Todd escapes from the ward. The family is phoned that he might end up coming to the house. But it is Terry who clearly is not happy, spiraling out of control and framing his brother for the current murders he commits. The mother becomes a drunk and ineffective because of the stress at least until the end when she becomes a dramatic hero. The fight scene at the end is dumb and the twist ending is dumb. The opening gore scene is top notch, bloody throughout and often. These scenes propel the intensity around second rate acting and predictable story lines. Some brief T&A, nothing spectacular. But, who plays tennis in the dark? What's with the cranberry sauce? And a good hiding spot for a crying baby is in the lower bathroom cabinet? The whole sequence at 1 hour 4 minutes is so great. Kids do listen! There is a good retrowave 1980's electronic soundtrack that would be great on vinyl. So much in this film shouldn't work but somehow it all does.

The Beyond - 1981 (This Film Rates an A ) The film opens to a hotel in black and white, Louisiana 1927. A group of towns people severely and graphically torture a Worlock living in room 36. Flash forward to 1981 and a woman inherits this same hotel. The Eibon, a book passed down for many many years is read. It predicts one of the seven gates of hell is opening and the Worlock had been guarding against this. Anyways, Liza, the new owner of the hotel meets a blind woman named Emily and brings her back to the hotel. She warns Liza to "leave this place". She also befriends John, the local doctor who unwittingly becomes involved in this adventure. Emily is warned more than once but of course refuses and does not listen to the warning story. Upon entering room 36 Liza finds the warlocks body nailed to the wall and the Elbion. Leaving and returning to the room she finds both to be gone. Emily is confronted by one of these living dead corpses and dies in a horrific dog attack. John and Liza eventually discover that the hotel is the gateway to hell and after escaping the hotel go see Dr. Harris at the local hospital. The entire place is filled with the living undead. They find Joe's daughter, but it's revealed that she is one of them and gets her head blown off. John and Liza escape down stairs, find themselves in the basement, a labyrinth, a landscape which was found on an old painting from upstairs. Both are then blinded and disappear into nothingness. It doesn't take long for the bloodletting to begin in the film. This includes; eye gouging, acid melting bodies, the over long tarantula spider attack (not for arachnophobes), the vicious dog attack, and other eye popping goodness. Its all fake looking but its still great. The soundtrack is above average and really sets each scene. It makes you feel the mood for that moment. How about the sound effects; the squeaky stretcher at the 28:14 minute mark and the spilling of the acid right after this, the spiders walking at the 50:40 minute mark or how Joe purrs as he comes back from the dead around the one hour mark. The acting has some decent moments and some not so hot, but is mostly adequate. Its all the little things that really make this film a winner even without any T&A.

The Last House On The Dead End Street (AKA: The Fun House) - 1977 ( This Film Rates A- ) An amateur filmmaker released from jail on drug charges seeks revenge on the world. He used to produce stag films however there's no market for this. He wants to give the audience more extreme content beyond vanilla, lesbian and zoophilia sexual experiences. The people laughing at a women being whipped is somewhat unsettling, though this is deemed not extreme enough. He kidnaps four "friends" to shoot a new form of extreme film, real snuff films. He and his Manson like crew enjoy this new venture. Its sometimes pretty intense, surreal and extreme with low budget and fake looking gore scenes. Bloody at times, yes. Brilliant, not always, but still loads of fun! A cheap and great exploitation filled script. Its hard not to laugh at so much of the dialogue. Brilliant in some places. Not always the best quality picture wise, creatively low budget, artsy fartsy at times, with poor sound and too dark lighting. The slaughter house scene with the cows will offend some. The soundtrack is crude but excellent. It fits each scene as cheaply and effectively as possible. Everything about this film is total exploitation with enough T&A to satisfy. A definite highlight in the low budget torture exploitation genre.

Final Exam - 1981 ( This Film Rates a B+ ) A brutal serial killer stalks a group of students at a local college campus. Its just days before summer vacation and filled with final exams, partying, hazing rituals and a really bad school prank that is over the top. Soon, the killer arrives. His identity or motives are not known throughout the entire film even the ending lends nothing. The opening murder was intense even if lacking gore. A solid sequence which carries on throughout the film even if far and few between. The film has some well developed characterization however it leads to overlong pacing problems. The Tool Box Murders, The Corpse Grinders and Murder Is My Beat posters on the dorm walls were great and seen several times. The acting and script have some awful and painful moments, but overall it seems to be on par with early 80's low budget horror. The soundtrack isn't spectacular but it really fits the film and most sequences. There has been mention before about the homoeroticism between characters, especially with the fraternity and its confirmed here though not outright. Its subtle and not intended. This slasher film works on so many levels even when it shouldn't. There are many drawbacks, including only one really brief T&A scene.

The Prey - 1983 (This Film Rates a C+ ) A relatively short slasher film about a crazed killer stalking campers in the Rocky Mountains. An older couple are brutally murdered with an axe. A few weeks later a group of 6 teenagers arrive for some camping fun. One by one they succumb to the killer. After the first two teenagers are killed off from this group, the remaining believe they went back to the van since all their camping gear is also gone. There is also a side story of the missing older couple by the Dover Police department. We learn that many gypsies were burned to death from a horrific forest fire that happened in 1948. This side story gives the whole film away, if you didn't already know it. One of the forest rangers head to Northpoint in hopes of finding them. He finds the dead bodies of two hikers being consumed by vultures. The two stories begin to connect from there. The teenage hiking group hang a sign on a tree next to the campgrounds indicating that they went on to the next site. From there its mountain climbing for the guys and sun tanning for the girls. Both men are subsequently killed and the girls quickly run to the mountain after hearing screams from one of the men falling down the mountain side. The killer chases them until the forest ranger unsuccessfully intercepts. The film has a predictable ending that is not always typical and it works.

There is sparse dialogue and typical 80's scripting. Cucumber and cream cheese sandwiches on oat bread, "Do people really eat that?" Plus at 18:55 the old bird scare trick. And the typical ghost story with a bad ending at the 26 minute mark. The gore effects are far and few, adequate but not extensive. More gore could have made this a better scoring film. There are a lot of great shots of bears, racoons, various amphibians, insects and wild birds. All of the natural sights and sounds add to the overall story. No real T&A, only teaser moments of what could have been. The films score is very reminiscent of F13 and done by the guy who did The Hills Have Eyes (Don Peake). A decent but typical slasher.

The Mutilator (AKA Fall Break) - 1984 ( This Film Rates a B ) Its autumn and little Eddie accidently kills his mother with a shot gun on his daddy's birthday. Some years later little Eddy is in college and he and some friends decide to take a vacation at the family beach house.

It takes a while to get through the story once there. There are so many teasing moments for more but never getting it. Poor set sounds, worse than most other movies. Sub par 80's acting with guys who wear sweaters around their neck. Really bad teenage scripting. Sadly, one character even said that their vacation goal is to have the high score on a video game. The soundtrack is the terrible side of the 80's. Cheese gore effects that are still decent enough, though fake and staged looking. The kills are actually fun because of the variety. They last long enough to fully appreciate. The whole movie is disjointed but the gore effects help it evolve it something more. The ending is great even if not plausible and extremely far fetched. Its a decent 80's slasher without any frills.

Frankenhooker - 1990 (This Film Rates a B ) The film starts off with a young man working on a brain with an eye attached. He successfully gets the eye to respond to simple commands, all while the family is out in the backyard for a birthday party. No one seems to mind the brain sitting on the kitchen table. The birthday gifts reveal does not go as planned and some blood is shed. Ultimately, it's a film about a medical school dropout, Jeffrey Franken. He specializes in bioelectricity, including his homemade lab in the basement. He is seeking to bring back to life his dead girlfriend (think Frankenstein and Reanimator). But he needs spare body parts. Jeffrey hits the streets and using the money from his Christmas club account seeking to buy several unsuspecting prostitutes for a party. Jeffrey also develops "super crack" which makes those who use it explode. That poor guinea pig! Anyways, he examines all of the prostitute's body parts for the perfect size and shape however they find the super crack and go crazy smoking it in a wild frenzy! Of course, the exploding bodies will make you laugh till no end. Jeffrey heads home with the stash of body parts he collected from the prostitutes. A lightning storm brings to life his dead girlfriend ala Frankenstein style. However, his girlfriend is put together with prostitute parts and you know what that means. She escapes into the wild New York City Street life. But that's not how it ends! Really bad and outrageous acting that only adds to the comedy. It's crazy and absurd all around just as it was intended to be. There is nothing serious here, it's all fun and games. Even the weather report isn't serious. And who stores drill bits with their bowling ball? There are plenty of T&A with no real gore here. It's all total exploitation.

Nightmare Weekend - 1986 (This Film Rates a C ) A low budget film distributed by Troma. A lone scientist in bioelectronics recruits three girls to do testing and experiments on. He is seeking to alter bad behaviors in teenagers. Every early test has been a 100% improvement in all animal testing. The experiment produces a less exciting Phantasm like ball of "medication" that alters their behaviors. Soon the experiment goes awry. What scientist leaves in the middle of an experiment? Don't let the biometer go over 50% he said. Well, the assistant has her own ideas and shows who is really in charge. She takes control of the experiment in his absence, and all goes to murderous hell. A side story of the scientist's daughter enjoying the experimental toys from over the years, including George. George is a computer puppet. George is pretty awesome. You'll love him! It's a fun and unique premise that doesn't quite live up to its potential mainly due to the absurdity of everything. And I mean everything. The acting is lame and makes for some good laughs. There are too many filler scenes that are so outlandish and so badly rehearsed. The bar scene 14 minutes in is the perfect example. The scream at the 37-minute mark or the fight scene just after the 42-minute mark. The build is slow and after the first gore scene you wait a good long time to see anything more. Then when you get to it, it's like "ehhhh". It is this long build that detracts from the overall fun. It has plenty of boobs, lots of gratuitous sex, nudity, porn staches and a rape scene. There is also a bar scene featuring sex on a pinball machine as all the patron's watch. It's all unnecessary but you know you like it. This film is more 80's exploitation than horror.

Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers - 1988 (B+ ) A chain-smoking private detective named Jack is hired to track down a teenage runaway. He winds up encountering an Egyptian "religious" cult who requires frequent human sacrifices via chainsaw. Lucky for him, the chainsaw ran out of gas which allows him to escape the sacrifice. Well, sort of. The acting is adequate to subpar, but its hard to tell if it's because the film is partially a low budget b-movie comedy with bad jokes and one liners or if the cast is really that inept. Lines such as; "Just what I need is a private dick in my face", "what's the matter, chainsaw got your tongue". "You could have knocked me out with a pubic hair". "Thats the biggest bra I ever tasted" and "This building isn't built for human sacrifices". The script fits the direction of the film, but sometimes the comedy really gets in the way of the story (If you are taking it seriously). The gore is more comedy than horror. The chainsaws aren't ever running during most of the killings, but it was still funny and bloody as hell even if there isn't much to see. The soundtrack is mainly rock and new wave and top notch. There are lots of boobs and full-frontal nudity. It's an anti-climactic cheap low budget exploitation comedy horror film and I loved it. Its comedy first then exploitation and horror in that order.