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Clash of the Titans (2010)
Contains Some Significant Changes, But Overall a Respectful Retelling
I watched the original Harryhausen film when I was quite young, and it remains one of my favorite movies. As a result, I had mixed feelings before the remake's release: anticipation mixed with worry about what might go wrong. As luck would have it, my fears were mostly unfounded.
Now you must understand that at their hearts, both the old and the new Clash of the Titans films are visual showpieces; the story of the film, while not insignificant, is mainly there to facilitate the action scenes, and there's nothing wrong with that. Both films also play fast and loose with Greek mythology, adding in new creatures, for instance (the Kraken has never had anything to do with Greek mythology). So long as you understand and accept this, the films are very enjoyable rides.
Sam Worthington takes the role of Perseus, son of Zeus and a mortal queen, rescued from the sea after his mother's husband, King Acrisius, tried to drown him (some people just can't handle their wife bearing a demigod). When Perseus is a young man, he suffers the loss of his adopted family during a fight between some soldiers from the city-state of Argos and the god Hades. Picked up by the surviving Argosians, he ends up in the city-state proper, where Hades shows up to deliver an ultimatum: as punishment for Argos's rebellion against the gods, the princess Andromeda must be sacrificed, or the ancient, terrible Kraken will be unleashed to destroy the city. Perseus wants vengeance on Hades for what happened to his family, and as such joins the mission to save Argos, hoping that it will bring him closer to his own goal.
Your mileage may vary on Worthington, but I thought he did well, at least as well as Harry Hamlin in the original. Liam Neeson steps into Laurence Olivier's shoes as Zeus, and while he doesn't quite get across the divine wisdom Olivier did, Neeson does an impressive job of portraying both the majesty and the power of the king of the gods. While he seeks to punish mankind for their rebellion, he has a soft spot for his son, and subtly aids Perseus on his quest, perhaps even hoping that he won't have to destroy Argos. Jason Flemyng plays Acrisius, Perseus's mortal father, cursed by Zeus for trying to kill his son and transformed into the monstrous Calibos. The character is bitter and resentful of what has happened to him, but Flemyng manages to make him a little sympathetic as well, though still clearly a bad guy. Credit should also go to the actors playing the Argosian soldiers who accompany Perseus on his quest; though I sadly can't name these performers, they do well at bringing some lightness and humor to the journey.
The action scenes, the movie's main draw, are very, very fun. Director Louis Leterrier takes full advantage of the capabilities of CGI, staging elaborately choreographed battles with the film's monsters, including the giant scorpions, Medusa and the Kraken itself. I doubt you can top Harryhausen, but I think the remake does right by the original. I saw this in 2D, so I'm not sure what difference 3D would make. That said, if you can't see it in 3D, don't worry about it, as I felt the movie worked just fine even when "flat".
Now the film isn't perfect, and feels a bit too grim and serious during the first act. Luckily, by the time the quest to see the Stygian Witches begins, Leterrier finds his footing and gets comfortable with the story he's telling us, and the movie becomes WAY more fun.
There are changes made to the story, including Hades being the villain instead of Thetis (a bit sad to see him get stuck as the bad guy once again, but at least he makes an impressive villain here). Also, Perseus is not paired up with Andromeda as per the myth (and the original film), and instead ends up with another mythological character, Io. It's a major change, but it's understandable given that Perseus and Andromeda have all of one scene together in the remake, so pairing them up would feel rather odd within the context of the movie.
Overall, while Clash of the Titans has some flaws, it nonetheless remains what the original was: an impressive visual spectacle, with the story acting as a framework for the creatures, exotic landscapes and battles. If you know this going in, it should make for a fun day at the movies.
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (2008)
A Worthy Successor to the Films
I'm going to admit up front that I did not watch this show at all before it was canceled. I ignored it because I thought it would be a cheap attempt to cash in on the film franchise.
I was wrong.
The series picks up after Terminator 2. Sarah and John Connor (now almost 16 years of age) have been safe for years now, and it seems Judgment Day has been averted, but then another Terminator, going by the name Cromartie, appears to kill John. Sarah and he find themselves on the run once more.
But they're not alone in their fight. Like in Terminator 2, the Resistance sends a reprogrammed Terminator model back to protect John. Together, they decide to go on the offensive and try once more to stop Skynet before it can be born.
The premise may sound cheap, but the writing, direction and especially the casting elevates it far beyond that. Lena Headey takes over the role of Sarah Connor, and while she's obviously not Linda Hamilton, she isn't trying to be. Hamilton was, by and large, playing Sarah the traumatized survivor, a little over the edge and in danger of losing her humanity. Headey has some of that violence to her, but she's more aware of the danger of becoming just like the machines, no doubt due to lessons learned in T2. Also worth noting is that Headey is playing Sarah the warrior and Sarah the mother, one who is trying to fight the machines, but also trying to be the one stable thing in her son's life as his very world is in danger.
Thomas Dekker plays John Connor, and while he's somewhat out-shined by his costars, he does the character justice, portraying someone who knows he must become a leader, but who also wants desperately to have a somewhat normal life.
After the pilot, Garret Dillahunt takes over as Cromartie, the evil Terminator. He's definitely following in Robert Patrick's footsteps, and manages to be convincingly menacing as well as very cool.
The one cast member who REALLY steals the show, however, is Summer Glau as Cameron, the Terminator sent back to protect John. Ms. Glau manages to convey so much with the subtlest of facial expressions and the intonation she gives her lines, making her mechanical character surprisingly easy to empathize with. Indeed, at points you will likely find yourself feeling sorry for her, especially during the second season when, after taking damage to her CPU/brain, she worries about being a danger to John, and about losing control of her own actions.
The relationship between John and Cameron is another point of interest, as it slowly changes from a simple protector/charge relationship to something deeper. Like the premise of the show, that no doubt sounds bizarre, but much like the show itself, the writing and the actors elevate it quite bit, making the feelings John begins developing for Cameron (and that she may be developing for him) into something very touching and dramatic.
The story, episode to episode, is paced out well, as Sarah, John and Cameron search for clues on who is building Skynet, running into other characters from the future (Resistance fighters and minor Terminators alike) who seek to help or hinder their efforts.
Finally, and most importantly, the series takes care to integrate itself into the Terminator world; to feel a part of the universe we were introduced to by the James Cameron films, and to maintain the atmosphere of the movies. In this way, it seems less like something running away from the franchise, and more like something EXPANDING it, adding previously unseen details to the war between the Resistance and machines and to the character of Sarah, while all the time retaining the Terminator feel we all know and love.
Sadly, as I mentioned at the beginning of this review, the series was canceled. There is an ongoing fan campaign to bring it back, and let's hope it succeeds, because this show is something special.
I highly recommend checking out the DVDs of both seasons, and should it come back, well, I know I won't make the mistake of ignoring it again.
Buru Jenda (1999)
Wake Up: It's the End of the World
Yuji Kaido is an average guy with a problem: he's sick, and there's no cure. Doctors simply don't know enough to fix the problem, but they can offer Yuji an amazing opportunity. After reluctantly agreeing, Yuji is cryogenically frozen until a cure for his condition is discovered. But things are very different when he wakes. Tokyo (the entire Earth, for that matter) is in ruins, consumed by merciless, insect-like predators known as the Blue. Pursued by the massive arthropods, Yuji is rescued by icy professional soldier Marlene Angel, a member of a military team assigned to recover "sleepers" like Yuji and transport them back to the orbital space station where humanity has taken refuge. As the Blue hunt them at every turn and team members start to die, Yuji and Marlene will have to rely on each other to survive and to escape from the planet.
This is an exceedingly well-made show. The Blue are interestingly designed and frighteningly portrayed, the characters are likable (well, the good guys are), and the storyline never bores the viewer. The general film "rules" about who can and cannot die (children are safe, noncombatants are safe, etc.) are not rigidly followed here, and the series is all the more suspenseful for it.
There are a few issues, like a small amount of nudity that can jar you if you're not expecting it, and an environmental plot element that can feel somewhat preachy at times. However, these aren't enough to justify taking away any more than one star.
Blue Gender has a dark tone and its fair share of violence, and is not for everyone. However, if you enjoy the genre, this is a visually and, I kid you not, emotionally appealing series that can be horrifying, exciting, and even touching.
Onegai Teacher (2002)
Boy Meets Alien
Kei Kusanagi is a 15-year-old student with a secret: he's actually 18. He suffers from a disease that puts him into a state of suspended animation when he's stressed, and once put him out for 3 years (there is some scientific validity to this: it's called cryptobiosis, and while there's no historical record of a human entering this state, Kei is supposed to be the very first case). Kei hides his disease from his friends, for fear of becoming emotionally isolated. One night, while he is meditating at the lake, he sees a disturbance in the water that is actually a cloaked spacecraft landing. Light flickers nearby, and Kei watches as an angelic-looking alien visitor materializes on the shore.
The next day, he discovers that the visitor, Mizuho Kazami, is posing as a teacher at his school, and has also moved in next door to where he lives. Kei is the only person with the knowledge of who Mizuho really is, and she needs to speak to him about that privately, which leads to the two of them being caught in a compromising situation (she teleports them into a school equipment shed, where they are discovered). Kei's uncle, trying to help, suggests that Mizuho and Kei are married. This leads to an actual marriage (since the principal IS going to check out such an outrageous claim). The rest of the series deals with their relationship, the effect that keeping it a secret has on Kei's friendships, and the very real feelings that he and Mizuho begin to develop for each other.
The series isn't perfect. There is a somewhat jarring moment in the first episode where Mizuho goes from competent interstellar explorer to shy new teacher rather abruptly, and there are some awkward lines of dialogue, but these are small flaws in an otherwise well-made, very touching show.
The Thing Below (2004)
A Pearl in Reverse
I watched this movie (well, most of it) after actually making the mistake of PAYING for it at the rental store. To explain my summary, a pearl is formed when something irritating (a grain of sand, for instance) gets into an oyster's shell, and the oyster lays down more and more layers of mother of pearl onto the particle, transforming it into the beautiful object we can wear as jewelry. This movie went the other way: a beautiful grain of an idea slowly covered with layer after layer of crap.
SPOILERS AHEAD The idea: The Sea Ghost is an oil rig drilling into the ocean floor. It's top-secret mission: attempting to reach a new source of energy at the planet's core. Drilling all the way to the core doesn't exactly make sense, but since geothermal power is a real concept this is an acceptable mistake. At 15 miles down (about halfway through the crust) they hit a cave, a cave with something living in it. This is great, because if you know your science, this tiny nugget of information has all kinds of frightening implications. If an organism were living 15 miles down (WAY deeper than any known cave systems) it most likely has been isolated for hundreds of millions of years. It may even have self-generated on its own, completely independent of life above. This organism would be as alien as any extraterrestrial, and none of our knowledge of life as we know it would apply to the new creature. While no known creature can get inside your head and make you see things, it has already been established that this thing is NOT any "known creature." This could have been scary, and I mean HP Lovecraft scary!
Unfortunately, it isn't. SPOILERS END HERE
"The Thing Below" suffers from bad directing, questionable acting, shots stolen right out of "Virus" and the worst special effects I have ever seen. The CGI is so bad that when I got my only glimpse of the creature, I COULDN'T TELL WHAT I WAS LOOKING AT! Shots of the boat and the Sea Ghost from the outside were so bad I winced every time I saw them. Visual effects should never cause physical pain.
Insecticidal (2005)
It's Bad, REALLY Bad!
Ah, giant bug movies. If you're like me, you fondly remember films like "Them," "Tarantula" and maybe even "Eight-Legged Freaks." "Insecticidal" aims for that same genre...sort of. The premise is simple: a sorority house gets attacked by giant bugs. You know how this movie will go. People will be hacked apart by the merciless arthropods, the house will be turned into a battleground, and yes, there will be lesbians.
In all truth, there are decent parts to this film. The movie doesn't take itself too seriously, acknowledging at points its own cheesiness. The actors and actresses who play our main characters pull off their less-than-Shakespearean lines pretty well. And, of course, there is eye candy to be found here.
Unfortunately, the film suffers from painful amounts of stupidity when it comes to the bugs and pretty much anything involving them. For instance, Cammy, the nerd (we know she's a nerd because she wears glasses) creates the monsters by accident. That would work for this setting, except for the REASON behind it. She states that she was mocked by her professors for her outlandish theory that "insects used to be the dominant species," and that she was experimenting on them to prove that they had "dormant genes." A combination of these experiments and some pesticide exposure activated these genes and made the bugs grow huge.
First, the claims that bugs were once dominant on Earth: No @#$%, Sherlock! Back in the Carboniferous period (300 million years ago) arthropods DID rule the world. There were dragonflies with 3-foot wingspans, centipede/millipede relatives from 5 to 10 feet long and scorpions 3 feet long. The idea that any modern scientist would mock Cammy for stating what's already true is just idiotic.
Second, the whole "dormant genes" idea: It's possible (although REALLY unlikely) that modern arthropods do hold dormant genes from their Carboniferous ancestors, but how the heck did Cammy manage to turn those genes on? It remains a mystery.
"Insecticidal" also suffers from what I like to call pseudo-intelligence. When the filmmakers want you to think that a character is smart, they have him or her use really long words, even if those words make no sense. When the giant praying mantis appears, Cammy classifies it with a long, Latin-sounding name. The problem is that the praying mantis's REAL scientific name is simply "Mantis religiosa" The final thing that hurts this film is that the special effects aren't so special. If brought to life effectively and accurately, the giant insects, arachnids and other invertebrates in "Insecticidal" could be terrifying. The praying mantis (a major enemy in the movie) has a ridiculous Kermit-the-frog mouth and the annoying habit of knocking people to the ground and apparently whacking them repeatedly with its forelegs. A real praying mantis attack is far more disturbing: it's spiny forelegs snatch prey in the blink of an eye and simply hold it there while the insect's blade-like mouth-parts methodically chew through the living victim. That would have been far more frightening than being slapped to death by Kermit the bug.
There are so many things wrong with this movie (herbivorous stag and rhinoceros beetles are shown eating people, as well as everything I already mentioned) that I can't rank it highly. That said, I'm actually recommending this film. It's so incredibly bad that you can have your own Mystery Science Theatre night with it.
Mortuary (2005)
So close to being interesting
Full disclosure: I saw this one late at night on TV, and there's always a tiny chance that that had something to do with it.
Our story begins with a mother and her two children moving to a small town. The kids just lost their father, and perhaps the change of scenery will help them get over it. Mom decides to move them into a very run-down mortuary, where she will pick up business as the town mortician, and the grieving children will be surrounded by corpses and tombstones. Nice move, Mom. While the children mingle with the townsfolk (less amusing than you'd think) Mom explores the graveyard outside the mortuary and comes across a sealed tomb. Inscribed upon the stone keeping the tomb shut are the words: "that which is dead cannot eternal lie, and with strange eons, even death may die." At this point, I got excited, because that quote means three very important words:
Howard Phillips Lovecraft
My mind was brimming with thoughts of aberrant horrors older than the dinosaurs lurking under the cemetery, waiting for the day they would be released to wreak havoc upon mankind! Bwahahahaha!
Alas, it was not to be. Mom opens the tomb (how did she EVER make it through medical school?) and Mortuary transforms into a jumbled mishmash of a zombie/monster movie, with barely a hint of Lovecraft to be found. While most of the cast does their job well, and there are some truly disturbing, atmospheric moments, the film just doesn't manage to hold one's interest.
Centipede! (2004)
I laughed, I cried, I snored
I can't help but wonder, did they attempt to base this thing on the centipede video game? Anyway...
The film centers around a group of friends who, to celebrate the upcoming marriage of one of the group members, decide to go caving in a remote, extremely deep cave system. What could possibly go wrong?
This could actually have been cool. Those who know invertebrates realize that centipedes are powerful predators, and that a centipede the size of an anaconda would be terrifying, but bringing such a beast to life was just too much of a challenge for these filmmakers. From the beginning of the movie, they do whatever they can to hurt your suspension of disbelief. For example, this movie is supposed to be set in India, yet all of the Indian characters speak English...when talking to each other! I'm pretty certain that soldiers in the Indian army don't speak English when talking amongst themselves far from any Americans. In addition, the cave sets look fake and the centipedes themselves, when they are finally revealed, look like...well...puppets of some kind. It's not pretty.
"Centipede!" gains two stars because, first, it is so horrible it will make you laugh. Second, the actors are far better than you think from watching the movie. Think about it for a minute: would YOU be able to act scared, or even concerned, while being chased by a giant puppet?
Supernatural (2005)
One of the Best Shows out There
I didn't watch Supernatural at first. I dismissed it as yet another WB series; a show that would be decent, but unexceptional. That, friends, was a huge mistake. Supernatural is not just exceptional, but is probably one of the best shows out there.
The world of the series is our own, just a little darker. Ghosts, life-draining monsters and all manner of aberrant horrors lurk in the shadows, and the weapons we know are useless against them. Enter the Winchester brothers: Dean and Sam. They travel the country, hunting down the paranormal horrors that decimated their family twenty-two years ago, and hoping to spare others the same tragedy.
Every episode is mysterious and suspenseful, and the scripts are well-written and thought-out. However, the best attribute of the series by far is the back-and-forth between the two stars. Ackles and Padalecki have the kind of chemistry that siblings everywhere will recognize. They trade one-liners during their adventures, argue fiercely at times, and are willing to do anything to protect each other.
The special effects, set design and (as I mentioned before) writing are all top notch, the creatures are frightening and brilliantly accomplished, and the laid-back attitude of the two heroes keeps you amused throughout the show. The only thing that kept me from awarding the series 10 out of 10 is that the darker tone of some of the episodes sometimes takes away from the characters just being brothers. That having been said, 9 out of 10 ain't bad at all. Supernatural is well worth your viewing time.